TinkerDebs needs your support.

[TinkerDebs]

as the title says
i wont
i cant
i need to die
before
i MUST
no ifs
no buts
just gotta DIE DIE DIE DIE DIE
((my mind is obsessed by this desire))
but until i get a sure fire way to die - i'm cutting cutting cutting this damned person i call 'myself'

[livelaughlove]

I don't really know what to say, apart from you should go to the hospital if you think your going to act on your impulses. Think of all the people you would leave behind.
Please dont, is there anyone you can talk to? Could you ring a helpline?
Please stay safe.

[shadow-light]

has anything sparked this off? Is the 5th significant for some reason?

[asparaguscabbage]

Honey, why do you feel you need to kill yourself? Why don't you want to live past May the 5th?

Does anyone IRL know about your plans, or do you receive any professional support?

x

[im_the_kid_that_falls]

DEBSSSSSSSSSSSSS!!!!!!!!!!!! NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO

I need you sweetie!

Why is the 5th so significant hun? Please don't listen to the stoopid voices! I lurve you too much, so does Grainne, and everyone! PLEASE!!!!

[NeverBetter]

please dont do it as u can see so many people care about u and some need u lots of ppeople care about u
i care and i barley know u think how much pain u will cause everyone eles
is their anythink u can do to distract urself talk to anyone ?
*hugs*
take care xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

[Cazki]

*Hugs* Please dont kill yourself. Why do you not want to go past the 5th of May? Whats happening to make you feel this way? Whats making you want to end your life? I strongly advise you to go to hospital, because im concerned for your safety, i care about you and i dont want anything bad to happen to you. Harming will only make things worse. Have you tried distracting yourself? Please keep talking to us.

Take care best wishes Ian

[TinkerDebs]

yes i have support yes i have someone to talk to
but i CANT i've got a block






i'll try to talk to my 'adoptive mum' tomorrow

got work in the morning
and ntohing dangerous here
but i know thats its not a case of when im gonna do this
its more a how
cause though i wont do it tonight i know i will try say tomorrow or tuesday
theres things on the may 5th i dont want to happen - things that force me to look forwards in a direction i i hate
after 5th i also have many high pressure things i dont wanna have to do

i know i cant keep on
i been feeling weak and weak and i just feel that the time is here
i only posted cause i had to vent the feelings of everything insdie my head as i cant actualyl get them out in words
imm off now - gonna hide in bed with my mp3 and try not to think

[Gone.]

Deb, how did talking to your adoptive mum go? I hope it calmed you down and made you see things more in perspective- in a positive way of course. Do you want to tell me what high pressure things are happening around the 5th?- I am a text/PM/Facebook away always, remember that. Maybe you should go and tell your doctor, though I know when you feel like this it is almost the last thing that you want to do, but I do think it's an idea.

Just please, look after yourself. I know that I would miss our random coversations :) and I'm just one person.

[havealittlefaith]

Deb hunni I am here for you if you needs someone I can call you just plz plz be safe don't do anything just text or talk love you stay strong cx

[TinkerDebs]

um so yeah things are AWOL
but im not dead
which apparenrtly is a good thing but my mind most definately thinks otherwise
dotn know what to say - im just meh and everytihng seems meh and yeah
im sorry guys
sorry
sorry
sorry
sorry
i'll be fine - i kinda HAVE to be

[Gone.]

It's hard feeling you have to be fine and that being dead isn't a good thing. Being alive is the best thing, you have to remember that even though it doesn't make much sense to you right now. How are the appointments going? Please keep holding on in there, you deserve to keep fighting. Could you write a letter or something, send it or don't, it can be quite theraputic? Sometimes it helps to just get feelings down even if they're jumbled up or don't make sense.

Take care, xx

[TinkerDebs]

im seeing my counsellor monday
have some things to give her that i written down cause the bank holiday meant i missed a session so i been keeping a bad day diary

[Gone.]

Good, I'm glad that you're considering handing it in to her.
I'm sure she'll listen and want to help. Take care.

[havealittlefaith]

Hugs good luck with seeing ya councillor hunni hug love ya just stay strong and hang in there baby xx

[-Rainbow-]

i have bad words right now
but hang int here, things will look up. i know its hard when things like that are on your mind
*hugs*
but try as hard as you can to fight it.
i do believe in you xx

[im_the_kid_that_falls]

Debbie!!!!
How are you tonight my chicken pie?
I miss our random wee conversations in randomness! We keep missing each other! :(
I love you n hopoe things get better for you soon! Whooosh! just like that! *nods*
x-x-x