Sick of it all now :(

[ILoveYouu]

my feelings have changed recently and i think i may be bipolar
i feel terrible 98% of the time
it feels as though i have three different sides to me
the sad me the angry me and the me that bounces off the walls (wrote that part in a different thread)
and on monday i went out for the night and was having the sad side to me so wasnt exectly the life of the party
and today my friend said to me
'i hated you on monday ... i think everyone there did too .. why dont you go to the doctors and get your pills for your ADHD' so i said that i dont have ADHD and she said 'bipolar then its all the same'
she thinks im attention seeking and will happily tell me this ...
i just feel as though it is all my fault and honestly tonight i feel like giving up
i have recently cut my leg from the top of my thigh to my knee and it hurts to walk and to sit down etc
but i feel like its not enough :(
<3

[Chloe.]

I'm so sorry.
Friends shouldn't behave that way...
If you think you're having symptoms of bipolar disorder, you should talk to a doctor.
Your friend can't tell you what you have.
And please please try not to cut again.
Try to distract yourself as much as possible. x

[ILoveYouu]

no she shouldnt i just wish she would care
or at least pretend to care!
i do want to go to the doctors but im so shy and i would feel so silly going because i wouldnt know what to say etc
i had stopped cutting for ages but its started again now and its worse this time :(
<3

[Chloe.]

Oh hun, but the doctor would be able to help you.
Just tell them the symptoms that you're having.
I know it's kind of awkward, but they can help.

[ILoveYouu]

yeah i think i will have to go because its gotten really bad now
i just dont know what to do anymore
<3

[Chloe.]

*hugs*
It's hard, but you'll get through it.
Stay strong.

[mesmerized.]

*hugs*
Going to the doctor sounds like a good idea.. just let them know how things are for you, what you're struggling with. It's not silly, they're there to help you. If you think you'd find it hard to speak, you could write down what you want to say beforehand and take it with you to use as a prompt if needed (or even just hand it over if you really can't talk). Is there anyone who could go with you for moral support?
Take care love, I'm here if you need to talk or anything. xx

[ILoveYouu]

yeah i will go to the doctors just need to work myself up to going lol
i know ill feel better for going its just thinking about it before you go in
like the dentist :P lol
thanks for replying guys :)
<3