Triggering (ED) - In the trenches

Breeze · 26-06-2007, 01:03 PM

I feel the anorexia has me again. I wasn't fighting against it beforebut it had seemed to quieten a bit I had gained weight, due to greedyness and medication. So I stopped the meds and now I'm falling big time with head ****.
I am feeling so horribly fat and greedy and weak. People say oh you can fight against it and you done well before. But when? Each time I have fought I have failed and it has hit me worse each time. I have had anorexia for 15 years and it is part of me, I was a child before this and ever since I was 15 it has been with me. It has become a big part of my personality. I do not know me as an adult without AN.

I just let it get me. I can not fight again. Not no more.
What with all the other **** going on this is the only thing I know is MINE.

behindblueyes · 26-06-2007, 05:02 PM

I feel like I could have written this myself, all excpt that I have suffered for a shorter amount of time. So, you are not alone. I have no idea who I am without ana, but in recovery I am beginning to learn so it is not impossible.

No matter what thoughts are in your head, you CAN beat this. I know you can. Others tell you that you can because they believe in you. You may have "failed" at recovery time before, but with each failure you stood right back up and tried again, and that shows immense strength. Maybe you just werent ready for the recovery, because I think that it only works when you are ready. And when you are ready, you have a TON of people here that will stand by your side and cheer you on.

Youre worth recovery
Youre worth living a full, beautiful, and amazing life.

Take care and stay strong
x Kate

Breeze · 26-06-2007, 06:34 PM

But I would have to MAKE a new person, new personality, it would be like a fake.
I dunno if I could even begin. I was a child before this. This is me as an adult.

Popple · 26-06-2007, 10:54 PM

So This Is Your Chance To Have A Fresh Start, I Know It Is Hard But With The Right Help You Can OverCome It For Good And You Can Have A Whole New Start, A Fresh Life But You Have To Keep Reminding Yourself Everyday That It Is Possible That People Do Come Out The Other Side After Fighting Through For Years It Will Be Worth It In The End When You Can Be Happy And Have The Life You Deserve.

Try Writing A Note Saying
"I Can Do This, I Am Strong, I Control My Life Not Anorexia, No Matter How Long It Takes I Will Keep Fighting And I WILL Win".

Stick It On Your Mirror Or Somewhere You Will See It Everyday.I Believe You Can Do It And I Am Sure Alot of Other People Agree With Me.I DOn't Even Know You That Well But From The Few Posts I Have Seen I Can See There Is A Glimmer Of Hope And That Will Never Leave You

If You Ever Need Someone To Talk To I Am Here =]

Take Care
Love
Katy
xx