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Old 18-06-2007, 09:07 AM   #1
l.e.g.o
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Triggering (SI/Abuse) - Emotional abuse

sorry if this has already been covered but im confused

this is something that my counsellor told me that she thinks i suffered and has caused my self harm. the thing is i decided at the time i didnt want to agree as i wanted to push everything away and put the memories its based on away and forget them-i cant but its what i told her

my problem is i dont understand it at all-i really cant see that my parents caused my self harm-but the fact that someone thinks that they abused me has made me feel bad as i cant see them in the same way and i cant forget what they did-i see it every day-but its not their fault i harm i mean they never forced me to sink a blade into myself and in fact they dont know that i harm-they think im very good at coping with feelings and not just my own-but i cant-but i cant talk to them and im sorry this is a ramble but i just dont know what to do-just want these memories to go and to be able to start to love my parents without the guilt



Emily-29.04.05

http://battlinglife.wordpress.com/

"A penny for my thoughts, oh no, I'll sell 'em for a dollar
They're worth so much more after I'm a goner
And maybe then you'll hear the words I been singin'
Funny when you're dead how people start listenin'"


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Old 18-06-2007, 09:15 AM   #2
abba12
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*hugs*

i think to a point most parents can be emotionally abusive, at least the ones ive always seen and known are. i dont know the circumstances of yours but you shouldnt feel giulty. by saying you were emotionally abused dosent put the blame of your self harm on them. you still made the choice. thats not to say its your 'fault' either. wow im not helping. all im saying is dont feel giulty, youre not blaming them.

i guess i should leave this to someone who knows about emotional abuse better, i just wanted to message and try and calm you down. you havent done anything wrong.

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Old 19-06-2007, 08:17 AM   #3
l.e.g.o
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Thanks

I just want to get past the memories past the hating of everything-I'm sorry just feel like it was all my fault anyway-to be fair I dont know if what they did really was emotional abuse to me at the time and even now they were being parents and I'm the one in the wrong, the one who couldnt cope with their criticism and the threats-apparently it was emotional abuse as they shouted and hurt me when I was hurt and in need of their help and the fact that at the time I was only little (4-9) it was emotional abuse and apparently I'm reacting in the way that emotional abuse "victims"(dont you just hate that word) do by putting myself in self destruct mode and self harming etc.

anyway sorry to go on-i just dont know what to do or feel



Emily-29.04.05

http://battlinglife.wordpress.com/

"A penny for my thoughts, oh no, I'll sell 'em for a dollar
They're worth so much more after I'm a goner
And maybe then you'll hear the words I been singin'
Funny when you're dead how people start listenin'"


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Old 19-06-2007, 08:19 AM   #4
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You might like to check out some of the links I've posted on Emotional Abuse in my RYL Journal. :)

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Old 19-06-2007, 08:28 AM   #5
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im sorry babe
i dont have much advice right now, but i care, i really do.
try talking to your counsellor about this?
take care
xx helen







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Old 19-06-2007, 10:36 PM   #6
l.e.g.o
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im not with counsellor anymore-on my own in this world-but just not coping-it apparently effects relationships and just starting with someone new and just cant trust-im useless


Last edited by l.e.g.o : 19-06-2007 at 10:39 PM. Reason: to add a bit


Emily-29.04.05

http://battlinglife.wordpress.com/

"A penny for my thoughts, oh no, I'll sell 'em for a dollar
They're worth so much more after I'm a goner
And maybe then you'll hear the words I been singin'
Funny when you're dead how people start listenin'"


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Old 20-06-2007, 05:11 AM   #7
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so your parents got mad at you when all you needed was help? see my mom did that. when i was found having an anxiety attack at school, my mom said it was my fault. and that it was my fault i was in pain. and that i should of talked to her... and if i did, this wouldnt have happened. is that the kind of thing?
i was also emotionaly abused as a child... he said things like "i wish you were never born" and "youre worthless" and "youre such a brat, this is all your fault" and apperently thats emotional abuse.
but really, you shouldnt feel guilty... and i mean, maybe thats not even why you self harm... i mean it could look like that, but maybe theres something else... have you tried a second opinion?
but really honey, dont blame yourself... thats never gets you anywhere...
PM if you wanna talk.
much love,
Kelly xXx



After all this has passed,
i still will remain
After i've cried my last,
there'll be beauty from pain
Though it won't be today,
Someday i'll hope again
And there'll be beauty from pain

PM me anytime for anything <3


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Old 21-06-2007, 10:39 PM   #8
l.e.g.o
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Its not just that they shouted and criticism but when i was small my mum and dad threatened to put me into care if i cried and stuff and when i fell over and knocked something over my mum put her hands round my neck and stuff-I dont know it was probably my own fault



Emily-29.04.05

http://battlinglife.wordpress.com/

"A penny for my thoughts, oh no, I'll sell 'em for a dollar
They're worth so much more after I'm a goner
And maybe then you'll hear the words I been singin'
Funny when you're dead how people start listenin'"


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