Rant - i should be so happy

cuttingpunk · 16-06-2007, 02:21 AM

i guess i should be happy right now. my schools baseball team just won the state tournament, and the guy i have a HUGE crush on is on the team. i should be so happy for them/him.

instead, right now all i'm worrying about is who he's hanging out with tonight. is he hanging with the baseball guys? is he going to drink or get drunk? why can't i hang out with him or get myself to ask him to do something...?

i'm depressed. i want to vomit. i'm scared i'm going to do something stupid and its so dumb because i shouldn't care this much. but i do. and i don't know why. but i do.

i hate myself and what i'm feeling. i don't know why i can't be happy

susie19 · 16-06-2007, 02:25 AM

You can be happy. I have been there before. Where you feel like there is no way you can ever get out of this ditch, but I promise you can. Try to find things that make you happy and do them. Hopefully things that involve other people. You are beautiful, smart, and amazing whether you are with or without this guy.

Snow White. · 16-06-2007, 03:26 AM

Hey darling,

It sounds like your suffering from a lot of anxiety at the moment about this boy, what he's doing, who he's with and what might happen. Breathe. Seriously - just stop and breathe for a bit sweetie and try and release some of that tension inside you, some of your worries.

It can be hard approaching people to ask them to do thing,s but give yourself time and wait until your confident within yourself enough to do it, I know you will be if you just pave yourself and take it easy - try and go easy on yourself, you're being way too harsh by expecting you need to be happy. You're feeling a lot of shit and it's understandable that it's going to take a toll on how you're feeling.

Try and do some things to calm you and take your mind off him,. try and focus on yourself and do some things you enjoy, it might help relax you a bit or ease the feeling of depression, it's unrealstic to expect you to be happy if you hate yourself, so why not do some things you enjoy and just give yourself a break from this, maybe even pay in the RYL Arcade for a while?

I hope you're alright and able to take care of yourself.
Best Wishes
Aimee xo

_Cadence_ · 16-06-2007, 03:29 AM

Sweetie, I understand. It will get better, and you can be happy! Getting your mind off of it is a good idea. Could you read a book or watch a movie? Try not to obsess or over analyze everything- I do that all the time, and it doesn't help- I just become more upset. So, if that's what you're doing, distracting yourself would definitely help. No matter what that guy's doing tonight, he's missing out since he's not with you. You're beautiful inside and out, regardless of what this guy thinks of you. My PM box is always open.

take care

Buttercup. · 16-06-2007, 05:14 AM

Hey love,

I can really understand how you are feeling right now, I feel for you. I actually am in a similar situation it seems.

Do you know if this boy likes you back? If you are unsure about this, that could play a big part in why you are feeling so low. It can be so stressful to wonder what he is doing, what he is thinking, how he feels. I'd say that it would be best if you could try not to read into things so much, don't over analyze the situation.

Most likely this boy would love to hang out with you, I know it's hard to ask, but once you break the ice it'll get so much easier! Find things you have in common, things you could have fun doing together. Try not to worry too much. Just be yourself, flirt with him, and let whatever happens happen.

Take care,

Jess xx

nowhereman · 16-06-2007, 08:20 AM

Sometimes we should be happy because of thigns around us but we just aren't. I can't explain why, it's just the way things are and you shouldn't make yourself feel worse thinking that you should be feeling happy. You can't help how you feel is what I'm trying to say here. I'm sorry you feel that way though and I hope you feel better soon. It's not easy to ask someone you have a crush on to do something with you. I'm in the same position myself. It's scary. So don't beat yourself up over it/ Give it time and try to get talking to him and get to know him and maybe you'll find you have something in common that you could do together. sorry if this is rubbish advice, I'm not much good at this sort of thing. I hope you won't do anything stupid.