I haven't self harmed for a week and have been fighting the urge as I was told if I kept on I would be sectioned once again. But today I couldn't control it.
Why is it that first cut, the first drop of blood is so satisfying? The deepest cut makes you feel alive again? I think I am addicting to self harming, it is like a drug to me now. I don't know how to fight the feeling anymore. If I don't think I bleed enough I keep cutting until I am pleased with the result. What is wrong with me?
She smiles with all that she has left, yet tears are left un-dried. And though she's got so much to say, she bottles it up inside. If you look past her broken eyes to a shadow no one sees, a disguise so you won't recognize, the girl is really me...
Hey there *hugs you*self harm is extremly addictive in itself thats why its so hard to stop. Its not one of things that you can stop doing just like that. It takes time. Can you talk to us about what it is that makes you self harm? Well done for not self harming for a week! thats excellent! Im very proud of you. Please dont be hard on yourself or put yourself down as this will just make things harder for you. Do you have any support at all? Im really sorry that you slipped up.
Please dont feel that you have to go through this on your own, we are all here for you and we will do our best to support you for as long as you need it. Please dont give up, keep fighting through this, you can beat this. Slipping up is part of recovery we all have slip ups but it doesnt mean that you have failed and that you should give up on recovering. You can get through this. Im sorry that things are so painful for you right now.
Have you tried distractions at all? Distractions are a health way of reducing the amount you self harm, they also help you to keep it under control. There lots of distractions that you can try like listening to msuic, doing jobs to keep yourself busy, watching a movie, going for a walk, posting on the fun and distractions forum or writing down your thoughts and feelings. Perhaps if you find it would help you, you could write your thoughts and feelings down in a diary? This link also has lots of other distractions that you could try http://www.recoveryourlife.com/forum...ead.php?t=1403 i hope that this link is of some help to you. Please look after yourself and keep safe. Keep talking to us.
As Avalanche said, SI can be very addictive. Many RYLers can relate to you on that, and I'm one of them. Hun, you can only really give up SI if you want to do that. Recovery is a lot easier when you want to receive teh help available and you're willing. It won't work the same if you aren't willing, as much as I would love to encourage you to stop and get help.
Help is still available anyway, and it might put the pressure of not cutting off you. I presume that you already see a counsellor or psych but if you don't, I recommend it. Professional help can help a lot, just to talk to someone once a week or so and get it all off your chest. It's a little bit extra support whether you continue to SI or not.
Slip ups happen though hun, you can always stop again at any time. RYL's here for you, there's support on the forums, Live Help, e-mail. Just shout and someone will always be there to listen :) Take care of yourself m'dear.
xo
Hey there *hugs you*self harm is extremly addictive in itself thats why its so hard to stop. Its not one of things that you can stop doing just like that. It takes time. Can you talk to us about what it is that makes you self harm? Well done for not self harming for a week! thats excellent! Im very proud of you. Please dont be hard on yourself or put yourself down as this will just make things harder for you. Do you have any support at all? Im really sorry that you slipped up.
Please dont feel that you have to go through this on your own, we are all here for you and we will do our best to support you for as long as you need it. Please dont give up, keep fighting through this, you can beat this. Slipping up is part of recovery we all have slip ups but it doesnt mean that you have failed and that you should give up on recovering. You can get through this. Im sorry that things are so painful for you right now.
Have you tried distractions at all? Distractions are a health way of reducing the amount you self harm, they also help you to keep it under control. There lots of distractions that you can try like listening to msuic, doing jobs to keep yourself busy, watching a movie, going for a walk, posting on the fun and distractions forum or writing down your thoughts and feelings. Perhaps if you find it would help you, you could write your thoughts and feelings down in a diary? This link also has lots of other distractions that you could try http://www.recoveryourlife.com/forum...ead.php?t=1403 i hope that this link is of some help to you. Please look after yourself and keep safe. Keep talking to us.
Take care best wishes Ian xxxxxxxxx
Where do I start with regards to why I do it?! As a child I was abused by my dad and then sexually assualted by 2 men, then 6 wks ago I was raped by someone that was supposed to be one of my best friends. I tried killing myself and was put into a psych hospital, was voluntarily but they made it clear if I didn't agree to go they would section me. I was there for 2wks as the doctor felt that if I stayed any longer and the rape went to court then it may discredit me as they can say iI'm loony! That is all well and good but I came out feeling worse than I went in. I was SI 2 or 3 times a day and tried killing myself. I suffer from insomnia at the best of times but since this has happened I have slept around 2hrs a night...if that. I am on 60mg Prozac, 30mg Temazepam and 1mg Lorazepam daily and my mood is still no better. The only things keeping me from killing myself are my mum and my sister, but I'm not sure if that will be enough much longer. I can't stand the nightmares and flashbacks and the panic attacks. I have dropped out of uni and don't know what to do.
Quote:
Originally Posted by lostdoll
As Avalanche said, SI can be very addictive. Many RYLers can relate to you on that, and I'm one of them. Hun, you can only really give up SI if you want to do that. Recovery is a lot easier when you want to receive teh help available and you're willing. It won't work the same if you aren't willing, as much as I would love to encourage you to stop and get help.
Help is still available anyway, and it might put the pressure of not cutting off you. I presume that you already see a counsellor or psych but if you don't, I recommend it. Professional help can help a lot, just to talk to someone once a week or so and get it all off your chest. It's a little bit extra support whether you continue to SI or not.
Slip ups happen though hun, you can always stop again at any time. RYL's here for you, there's support on the forums, Live Help, e-mail. Just shout and someone will always be there to listen :) Take care of yourself m'dear.
xo
I do want to stop, I am fighting so hard but it's like having a little me on my shoulder egging me on to slash my arm or my leg open, to go that bit deeper and press that bit harder. I feel like 2 different people. To most I am still the happy, mental me as that's the part I portray but inside I am lost, I have no idea who I am anymore and have no feeling of self worth. I know it sounds like I am being self pitying but I am 22 and have been abused since I was 6mths old. When is it going to end unless I end it myself?
She smiles with all that she has left, yet tears are left un-dried. And though she's got so much to say, she bottles it up inside. If you look past her broken eyes to a shadow no one sees, a disguise so you won't recognize, the girl is really me...