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Old 07-06-2007, 05:55 PM   #1
ebonyrose
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Triggering (ED) - What are your fears?

I have made this thread to hopefully help those out there who have fears abotu recovering from an eating disorder. I know that I have many, and I thought this could be a way of sharing our fears so one we know we are not alone, two we are reminded of the people around us and three we can get some sort of help/advice/support on the issue. So...
  • What are your fears about recovering from your ED?
  • What is it that makes you feel panicky about not having it there?
  • What is it that is perhaps holding you back from the recovery you want and need?
Here is a place to express those fears you may have, post one fear, and the next person will either give you advice on how to deal with that fear, a way of looking at it in a different light (for example as a positive thing) or a way to overcome the fear.

First one: Its something I know, its a way to deal with and forget about the way my depression makes me feel. How will I cope without it?



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||| R.I.P Matt. 11.09.06. Forever loved, forever missed and never forgotten. |||

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Old 07-06-2007, 08:47 PM   #2
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I dont know that I have an ED.. but BUMPS!! I think I fear putting on weight because I still feel fat as I am and its not going to make that any better.

x



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Old 07-06-2007, 08:54 PM   #3
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My fears are that I won't be able to cope. Im trying to recover now, but ive started feeling lyk something i feel i need is slipping away. Im scared that once ive tuned my back on my eating disorder, ill never be able to succeed at it again and therefore lose my ability to have some sort of control.

xxx

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Old 07-06-2007, 09:18 PM   #4
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What are your fears about recovering from your ED? As silly as it sounds being what I consider as "fat". Being able to feel it there as I sit down, it disgusts me. I'm terrified of loosing the control aswell.
What is it that makes you feel panicky about not having it there? It makes me feel comfortable, to feel thin makes me feel safe, like I'm acheiving something. When I'm recovering I just feel all over the place, I have no structure. No control
What is it that is perhaps holding you back from the recovery you want and need? I don't feel I'm bad enough, yet I'm too far in to get out again. Although saying all that I am starting to recover.



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Old 07-06-2007, 09:50 PM   #5
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lavender.hush (sorry i don't know your name) well done on starting recovery *kisses*. i know it will be hard and you will be tested very much it will be so worth it. once this fight is over you can let the world know that you have suceeded,, you will have suceeded in beating this ED and that is something to be so so proud of! x

you are so strong for starting recovery Chloe *cuddles you tight* you can and will beat this sweetheart. *loves*

here we go...

What are your fears about recovering from your ED? my fears are getting fat. loosing control. no longer having an identity. i have always had something to rely on wether it be self-harm or my ED and i would feel lost without out,, i would feel like i needed to have something else there,, something that will be a part of me yet not apart of me,, i am rambling now

What is it that makes you feel panicky about not having it there? ^loosing my identity. people know me for other things than my ED,, basically no-one really knows about my ED so i am identified by other people based upon my personal traits,, however to myself i am bulimic and that is all,, without i don't know what/who i would be.

What is it that is perhaps holding you back from the recovery you want and need? the need to be thin. perfect. different? no. i need to be controlled by something or else i feel i would loose my mind. again, as Chloe said, i don't feel i am bad enough,, i can't get out right now.

lucy.
x x x



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Old 08-06-2007, 01:37 PM   #6
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a major fear of mine apart from the obvious weight gain, is what if i cant actually recover and i end up like this forever.

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Old 08-06-2007, 07:52 PM   #7
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OK, as no one kind of seems to be answering one then posting one I thought I would kind of do a round up of the posts so far. =]

Lavender.hush: I understand completely. The thing is, to be able to succeed without your eating disorder is far stronger and braver than succeeding at it. I have been told to try and find other ways to gain control, and I know (really I do) how difficult that can be, perhaps in the fun and distractions forum or somewhere else there could be a new thread of things you can have control over, when you feel you need to have control over at least something, to prevent you from feeling the need to have your eating disorder.

pink lemonade fairy: But what if you made the choice to be strong enough to have control over how much weight you have. To be able to enjoy food but perhaps exercise in order to tone up? Again with the control thing, we somehow need to get a resource set up of possible things to control. I understand what your saying about structure, but if you can develop structure in other parts of your life, and maybe the positive side of your eating, perhaps YOU decide what and when you eat but in a positive way? Every eating disorder is bad, you don't have to be dangerously thin to be bad enough, there are different types of bad enough, sometimes your body can't show how negative or bad things are inside your head. If you're here trying to recover, and the fact that you acknowledge you have an eating disorders means its bad enough to be on your mind. Do not deem what is bad enough by other people it is what matters to you that is important. But congratulations on begining to recover, my thoughts are with you. ~*~Hugs~*~

Keep smiling: Is it not possible for you to express your identity in another form? Perhaps fashion, art or another type of hobby, this could prove helpful if it is also a distraction during recovery. I know what you are saying about having something to rely on and again, its just finding something that is safer to rely on, for yourself. Sometimes to be without something is to realise that actually you are a stronger more positive minded person and being without something can bring out things in yourself that you never knew and prove to be something to be proud of and happy about. It is when we are at our worst that we are able to think about the things we are best. The time will come when you are ready, don't let anyone push you into it, you will know when the time is right. Hang in there.

Catskitten: If what you want is to recover and it is the thing deepest in your heart then you can, its sounds cheesy and some days downright impossible but you can do whatever you want. You've survived so far, as I've said above when the time is right you will know what to do without having to think about it, no doubt it will be hard but you will know its what you need to do. Good luck.

So next person is free to post a fear....



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||| R.I.P Matt. 11.09.06. Forever loved, forever missed and never forgotten. |||

I CAN DO THIS.


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Old 10-06-2007, 12:55 AM   #8
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I fear being this way forever.
I dont want to feel like this, I dont understand why I have to.

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Old 10-06-2007, 08:48 AM   #9
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Rave Pixie - if being this way is your fear there is EVERYTHING to fight for.




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Old 10-06-2007, 08:50 AM   #10
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oops did i do the hide thing wrong :S



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Old 10-06-2007, 12:44 PM   #11
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i fear putting on weight as well...i get scared that im going to see myself in the mirror and realise that i am putting on wieght again because of having to eat....but i think these fears will always be here but as i know i have to get better, i can live with it..to recover..
yasmin xxx

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Old 13-06-2007, 07:34 PM   #12
ebonyrose
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Would you guys say the mental fears are worse than the physical ones or vice versa, or are they kind of leveled up?



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||| R.I.P Matt. 11.09.06. Forever loved, forever missed and never forgotten. |||

I CAN DO THIS.


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