Live Help

Forum Jump
Post New Thread  Reply
Old 18-12-2007, 03:40 AM   #1
I envy your tears, for i have cryed all mine away
Karly's Avatar
Join Date: Jun 2007
Location: Canada
I am currently:
Graphic / Triggering - My rape story (just need to talk about it).. sorry long post

I was in Mexico with my parents for March break in 2005. I didnít bring along any friends so I was somewhat bored. On the second day at the resort I was in the pool by myself just swimming around. Two girls were playing ball and asked me to join in, I did. After playing around and getting to know them we got out of the pool and joined a group of their friends. They all varied in ages. There were six of them. The two girls I was with, one more girl and three boys.
Ben, one of the guys took immediate interest in me. He asked me how old i was and told me that he was sixteen. Now that I am almost sixteen I doubt that he was, he seemed older. I was interested in him too. I had never been with a guy before so it was exciting. I hung around that group for the rest of the week. My parents werenít aware that there were boys with us but trusted the girls and I enough to stay out until a little bit after dark.
On the last night Ben asked me if I wanted to go to dinner with him. It was an all inclusive resort so all the restaurant food was already payed for. When he asked me he used the word "date" this was thrilling to me. I was so excited to get back to school and tell all my friends that I had been on a date with a sixteen year old.
I wore my purple halter top with my matching purple skirt that night. I told my parents that I was going to dinner with the girls for the last night, they were fine with it. Ben took me to the sea food restaurant. It had wonderful food. We made good conversation. We talked about school and parents, what we wanted to pursue in the future. I felt so connected to him. He told me that he loved me, that I was a sweet girl and that he would miss me when I left. I believed him.
After we had finished dinner he told me I needed to come back to his room to say goodbye to everyone else. I was fine with that. When we reached his room on the second level noone was there. He didnít say anything, he just closed and locked the door, this frighted me. I should have tried to leave then, I shouldnít have gone with him in the first place.
He turned from the nicest guy I ever met to the devil in a matter of seconds. He told me to take of my shirt. I was confused and asked him why. He yelled at me and once again told me to take of my shirt. I did what he said. Once it was off he pulled off my bra and started playing with my breasts. I started to cry and again asked him what he was doing. He told me to shut up and to lie down on the bed.
I layed down on the bed while he pulled off my skirt and underwear. I crossed my legs so hide my nakedness. He told me to open my legs. I cried and begged him to stop. He said it was what I wanted, and that I had been leading him on all week. He forcefully pulled my legs apart and put his fingers inside me. A shooting pain went up my back and I screamed. He slapped my face and covered my mouth.
He started to take his shirt and pants off. I sat up and made a mad dash to the door. He grabbed me by my braided hair. My scalp burned as he pulled me back onto the bed. Tears ran down my face as I kicked him and started screaming. He slapped me again and covered my mouth with his hand, so I bit him. He told me I was a stupid worthless whore. I continued to kick him in an attempt to get away. He put him entire body weight on my shoulders and whispered in my ear-
"Kick me one more time, Iíll f***ing kill you."
Now I wish he did. At that point I surrendered. I gave my body over to him to do whatever he pleased. He grabbed onto my thighs and I felt him enter me. I no longer felt attached to my body, I was somewhere else.
"Youíre the worst bitch Iíve ever ****ed" he said. I told him I was sorry. I didnít know what else so say.
When he finished and was satisfied he asked me to kiss him. I did. He told me to get my clothing back on and to leave.
It was dark when I left. I hurried to the public bathroom beside the pool. I looked at my face in the mirror. My lip was bleeding but other than that I didnít look to damaged. I was determined to not let my parents know so I cleaned myself up quickly. When I got back to my room my parents were there. I told them I was tired so I was going to shower and head to bed. There were no questions asked.
I turned the shower on hot. My skin turned beat red. I scrubbed and scrubbed. I wanted him off of me. I felt dirty and sick to my stomach. I feel like he has never gotten off of me though. Heís still with me everyday reminding me how much of a dirty worthless bitch I am, and for that I hope he f***ing burns in hell.

Karly is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 18-12-2007, 09:22 AM   #2
be positive
88shelz's Avatar
Join Date: Apr 2006
I am currently:

oh sweetheart.
what age where you at the time?
i know this is a horrible question to have to ask but was he wearing a condom?
if not did you have yourself checked?
i really wish you were beside me now so i could just put my arms around you and tell you everythign will be alrite!!
you are not dirty and worthless!
this boy is the dirty worthless pig!!
you are so innocent in all of this and have been so strong!
please be ok xxx

Some days are still hard but they make the good days seem all the better :)

88shelz is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 18-12-2007, 12:27 PM   #3
I envy your tears, for i have cryed all mine away
Karly's Avatar
Join Date: Jun 2007
Location: Canada
I am currently:

I was 12. No he wasn't. and no I haven't been checked.

Karly is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 18-12-2007, 12:56 PM   #4
Fight for another day
crazykat's Avatar
Join Date: Jul 2006
Location: Australia

I am sorry that this had to happen to you, you didn't deserve this. You are not worthless and dirty either. Have you ever spoken to anyone about this before? If not maybe talking it through with a counsellor or someone close to you would help. Even just to provide some extra support coz it sounds like its affecting you alot. I'm here if you ever need someone to talk to. Take care of yourself
Kat xxx

"Recovery is something that you have to work
on every single day and it's
something that doesn't
get a day off."

crazykat is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 18-12-2007, 01:13 PM   #5
14/6/2007 -
Join Date: Jun 2007
I am currently:

Im so sorry that this happened to you your none of what he said to you. He is absolutely horrible! Im so so so sorry.

Take care best wishes Ian xxxxxxxxxx

14/06/2007 -

Cazki is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 18-12-2007, 02:10 PM   #6
Tazz!'s Avatar
Join Date: Nov 2007
Location: Manchester
I am currently:

oh god. Thats terrible hun! i know when this kinda thing happens to someone it is really REALLY hard to move on (believe me i know), but im here for you if you ever want to get things out of ya head.take my advice and get urself checked hun, thats the first step to moving on.
i dont really know what else to say, but tht i am so sorry about what he did to you.
pm me when ever hun.
take care of yourself xxx

x..They fear what they don't understand..x

Tazz! is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 18-12-2007, 04:57 PM   #7
I need a pig here!
N.Bluth's Avatar
Join Date: Aug 2007
Location: F**k mountain
I am currently:

I know exactly where your coming from. Getting over something like this is really hard, but if you ever need someone just PM me. Stay strong x

Play the game out
Amor Vincit Omnia

Dad 10/11/2008 Always our sunshine, I'm still playing for the town hall clock

N.Bluth is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 18-12-2007, 04:58 PM   #8
jdpasino's Avatar
Join Date: Nov 2007
Location: new jersey
I am currently:

that's so awful and you didn't deserve any of that....i don't know how he can live with himself! if you ever need to talk i'm here


jdpasino is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 19-12-2007, 11:12 AM   #9
Smile, it confuses people.
CrazyChaoticMess's Avatar
Join Date: Sep 2007
Location: Western England.
I am currently:

omg thats horrible,your not worthless or dirty,he's a worthless pig who deserves to burn for what he did *hug*

Safe room= AWESOMENESS <3
I Get Lei'd In Vets!!

CrazyChaoticMess is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 19-12-2007, 10:23 PM   #10
Vets Bungle
*Gothic*Angel*'s Avatar
Join Date: Jun 2007
Location: between leeds and london
I am currently:

aww sweetie
please get yourself checked.
you are not wrthless.
you are the innocent in this.
he is a disgusting pig.
pm me if you ever need to talk. anytime hun

What progress, you ask, have I made? I have begun to be a friend to myself.

Hecato, Greek philosopher

last cut 23rd september
everyday i get stronger

*Gothic*Angel* is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 24-12-2007, 02:47 AM   #11
stophurtingme's Avatar
Join Date: Jun 2007
I am currently:

this made me cry.
i'm so sorry.
i wish you were here to know someone does care.
i hope you the best and again im so sorry.

these wounds won't seem to heal
this pain is just to real
ther'es just too much that time cannot erase

stophurtingme is offline   Reply With Quote

Currently Active Members Viewing This Thread: 1 (0 members and 1 guests)
Thread Tools Search this Thread
Search this Thread:

Advanced Search

Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

vB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off
Censor is OFF
Forum Jump

All times are GMT +1. The time now is 02:32 AM.

Back to top