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Old 17-11-2007, 05:02 AM   #1
Leigha_Cross_x_
 
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I hurt so bad. Should I feel ashamed for this?

So I think that I have been mentally abused. I have been told that I am worthless, horrable, nobody likes me, everyone hates me, that I should just go away and die, and more. I have come to beleive this.
I feel horrable, and evertime something goes wrong I feel like it was my fault why. So as a way of southing the pain I started S.H., and now it's probly gone to far. Though now that I am in highschool all of the put down's hardly happen anymore.
It just wasn't at school. When I was younger I would always get yelled at. I couldn't hardly do anything, and even now. I get yelled at at least everyday for no reason. Or they could find a reason.
Now I mentally can't handle yelling. In general even if it doesn't concern me. I have been hurt so much i'm afraid of anyone I don't know. I'm afraid to talk to people I don't know. Or people in general.
Is it all my fault? I know that I am a horrable person. and I am so sorry for wasting everyone's time who reads this.

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Old 17-11-2007, 08:56 AM   #2
Stellata
 
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It's not your fault.

I've been through similar, and for years believed the same as you do. Part of me still does, and I have to be careful now to try and not to fall into it.

I can't handle loud voices either. Or certain tones of voice. Or laughter. Or being looked at by people I don't know, even where the intent is benign.

One thing that can help is to track the triggers and observe how you respond. Being aware of your internal and external response processes can be the first step to starting to like yourself enough to feel worthy of being around other people and their friendship.

You might also find this article helpful - How to increase your self-esteem [link]

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Old 18-11-2007, 07:27 AM   #3
Leigha_Cross_x_
 
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Quote:
Originally Posted by ~longing~tears~ View Post
It's not your fault.

I've been through similar, and for years believed the same as you do. Part of me still does, and I have to be careful now to try and not to fall into it.

I can't handle loud voices either. Or certain tones of voice. Or laughter. Or being looked at by people I don't know, even where the intent is benign.

One thing that can help is to track the triggers and observe how you respond. Being aware of your internal and external response processes can be the first step to starting to like yourself enough to feel worthy of being around other people and their friendship.

You might also find this article helpful - How to increase your self-esteem [link]
Thank you.

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Old 19-11-2007, 11:10 PM   #4
sickinthehead
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Ok, first off, you are not a horrible person. You have feelings and Emotions. Hearing people say negative things to you time an time again, will make you feel they are true. You know what, your better than they are. You don't have to put someone down, to make yourself feel big. I bet for you one of the big questions is "why". Even the people calling you things an putting you down won't be able to answer. There is only one logical reason, there insecure, an in being so have to make it seem like they arn't by belittling someone else. Just hold your head high hunni, and in a couple of years they'll be kissing your ass.... The people that hurt me were...


Jon



Revenge is sweet, but not always deserved.

Why would you want to get someone back, for something they can't control?



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Old 20-11-2007, 05:50 PM   #5
CrossroadsAndBrokenHearts
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You're deffianlty not wasting anyones time. I'm so sorry you have had to go through mental and emotional abuse, and I know how painful it can be, and how much it truly can effect you everyday. I'm not really sure that I have very much helpful advice I just wanted to say that I'm here if you need to talk. Take care of yourself. <3



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