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Old 26-08-2012, 03:00 PM   #1
shadow-light
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Confronting your fears - a group support thread

So, this board is full of information thread, grounding threads, and personal threads, so I thought I would try a new idea: healing/recovery threads. The idea of these threads is for us all to admit issues on a specific topic and help each other through them, to help others rationalise them, to know they are not alone and to to use our own experiences to assist others.


So the first topic is: fears


This is a thread for admitting your fears, where we can all share and gently comfort each other (and ourselves) on those fears



what are your fears?
are they fears that you would be happier without?
where did the fears come from?
are they healthy?
do they impact on your life?
are they rational?
do you feel that you are ready to confront them?

are there any fears that you have overcome? If so would you be willing to share what they were and how you overcame them?


Last edited by shadow-light : 26-08-2012 at 03:13 PM.
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Old 26-08-2012, 03:09 PM   #2
hellokittymad
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I love this thread idea, bit scared about being the first to reply but lets give it a go....

what are your fears? I dont have any rational fears, im scared of the dark and scared that my real mum will come back and hurt me again or that she already has hurt my sister and a fear of gaining weight
are they fears that you would be happier without? My fear of the dark and the other one about being scared of my real mum
where did the fears come from? Abuse
are they health? one is
do they impact on your life? very much so
are they rational? not really
do you feel that you are ready to confront them? Yes please

are there any fears that you have overcome? If so would you be willing to share what they were and how you overcame them? I havent quite over come any of them yet, I am learning to deal with my scared of the dark by sleeping with a night light on and I am learning to over come the fear of my mum by reminding myself I am safe I am loved I have friends and family who would never let her hurt me again! I am willing to give getting over my fear of gaining weight a go but I dont know where I would start.

My Gosh that feels good to get out of my head (: xxx



"pretty pretty please dont you ever ever feel like your less than less than perfect"

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Old 26-08-2012, 03:13 PM   #3
shadow-light
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what are your fears?

  • that I will never be able to trust again
  • that I never feel safe again
  • that i never feel comfortable in my own body
  • that I will always feel this lonely
  • that anyone I get close to will hurt or abandon me
  • that people will judge me if they knew what happned
  • that people won't believe me if I tell them what happned
  • that a flashback or dissociative episode will be triggered at an awkward moment
  • of being big/fat/large enough to be noticed and therefore be hurt

are they fears that you would be happier without?

probably all of the above lol


where did the fears come from?

past experiances I guess


are they healthly?

I doubt it

do they impact on your life?

yes, they prevent me from doing things such as forging true friendships, and going to social events


are they rational?

no


do you feel that you are ready to confront them?

Some yes, others no


are there any fears that you have overcome? If so would you be willing to share what they were and how you overcame them?

I used to fear going outside, and traveling on trains, anything that would involve being in a situation that I felt I could not escape. I overcame this by looking at evidence, I would catalogue ever time I did something I feared without anything bad happening until I convinced myself that what i feared was unlikely to occur and that doing things was safe

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Old 26-08-2012, 05:59 PM   #4
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What are your fears? 1. That my partner will hurt me, 2. That I will be sent back to the hospital, 3. That I will be sexually assaulted again, 4. That I will "unravel" mentally again, 5. That I will irreparably mess up the life I have now.
Are they fears that you would be happier without? Without a doubt I would be happier.
Where did the fears come from? Abuse, being confined in a psychiatric hospital, being told these things were my fault one way or the other.
Are they healthy? No, they are not.
Do they impact on your life? Pretty much every aspect of it.
Are they rational? Number 3 has a weak rationale behind it. The others have no basis in reality whatsoever.
Do you feel that you are ready to confront them? I am right now busy with "You shouldn't have those fears, you are being unrealistic and stupid, just let go already!" I think I'll just have to work on recognizing these fears as legitimate at one point, but not anymore.

Are there any fears that you have overcome? If so would you be willing to share what they were and how you overcame them? I conquered my fear of driving on the highway! I used to be terrified of it, because things went so fast. But just constant exposure and practice got me good at it and soothed the fear.



My name is Matt, and I am a boy. Feel free to PM me :)

I have learned that the world is not a safe place. Not at all. But there are so many people who love me and want to keep me safe. And that is enough.

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Old 26-08-2012, 07:05 PM   #5
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what are your fears?

- being abandoned. being humiliated. getting sectioned. losing my job. being evicted. getting hurt by someone in public.

are they fears that you would be happier without?

- for sure!

where did the fears come from?

- early trauma, threats of abandonment through childhood, being remorselessly physically and emotionally bullied, losing control of myself sometimes due to all of this.

are they healthy?

They're understandable, but not really healthy, no, beyond needing a certain level of awareness when living in London.

do they impact on your life?

- Yes.

are they rational?

Mostly not in the present, no. But they are to the frozen off traumatised mind in me.

do you feel that you are ready to confront them?

- I confront most of them every day purely by living.

are there any fears that you have overcome? If so would you be willing to share what they were and how you overcame them?

- I'll come back to you on that one, I need to think!

Great thread. :)

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Old 27-08-2012, 06:20 PM   #6
risenfromperdition
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i'll do this when i can actually think straoght and not lookin over shoulder. good thread idea though, thanks hazel :)



“The good things don’t always soften the bad, but vice-versa, the bad things don’t necessarily spoil the good things and make them unimportant.”
“Nobody important? Blimey, that’s amazing. Do you know, in nine hundred years of time and space I’ve never met anyone who wasn’t important before.”
“If it’s time to go, remember what you’re leaving. Remember the best. My friends have always been the best of me.”

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Old 31-08-2012, 02:24 AM   #7
Frail Existence
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Uhh... Fear black men. Fear tall people. scred to be in room with one other persob. Fear I will end up hurt or that noone wants me.

Maybe those arent real fears.
Not racist or anything. It all stems from abuse



These kicks take me far away my dear;
Far away from myself
Far away from my troubles
Far away from heaven



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Old 01-09-2012, 01:01 AM   #8
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what are your fears?
...being awkward in social situations, especially new ones
...failing and not gaining my career goals
...becoming seriously physically ill
...a certain person lying to me
...feeling coerced into sex
...strange men talking to me and not leaving me alone

are they fears that you would be happier without?
...except for the career one, yes, as I feel that one keeps me motivated
where did the fears come from?
...experiences with other people. Learning not to trust and that people won't leave me alone. The social situations one is from being new too much and having social oddities in my behavior pointed out.
are they healthy?
...some. the social one isn't at all, and others are more exaggerated than necessary.
do they impact on your life?
...yes, i avoid new social situations and get anxiety about strangers talking to me
are they rational?
...all are to some extent
do you feel that you are ready to confront them?
...the social and stranger ones i would like to. The being lied to and sex one I don't know how.
are there any fears that you have overcome? If so would you be willing to share what they were and how you overcame them?
..
Yes I always overcome fears by just making myself do whatever I'm afraid of.



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Old 01-09-2012, 01:09 AM   #9
risenfromperdition
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what are your fears?
umm... men, being judged, getting put ip again, my father..., the word l*ve..., crowds of people, people my age, getting stared at
are they fears that you would be happier without?
probably
where did the fears come from?
abuse, bullying, anxiety in general
are they healthy?
probably not
do they impact on your life?
yes... usually negatively
are they rational?
i dunno... i feel like they are but problly not.
do you feel that you are ready to confront them?
i wanna try to confront some of them...

are there any fears that you have overcome? If so would you be willing to share what they were and how you overcame them?



“The good things don’t always soften the bad, but vice-versa, the bad things don’t necessarily spoil the good things and make them unimportant.”
“Nobody important? Blimey, that’s amazing. Do you know, in nine hundred years of time and space I’ve never met anyone who wasn’t important before.”
“If it’s time to go, remember what you’re leaving. Remember the best. My friends have always been the best of me.”

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Old 03-09-2012, 11:16 PM   #10
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what are your fears?
Losing control, general paranoia - people are watching me, people are jumping out at me, William, remembering, not being good enough, snakes, swimming.

are they fears that you would be happier without?
Most of them especially being afraid of william. william was the boy who bullied me when I was 5 years old I havent seen him since I was 8 and yet he still haunts me. even though i doubt he even remembers me anymore.

where did the fears come from?
bullying and other past experiences.

are they healthy?
No.

do they impact on your life?
Yes. wiliam, snakes and losing control all haunt my dreams. and flashbacks of bullying and images of me harming sometimes intrude on day to day. while ocassional paranoia can make walking home, crowds and feeling safe difficult.

are they rational?
Not really apart from swimming as i cant and got forced to try at school to the point where i wasnt safe.

do you feel that you are ready to confront them?
I'm starting with the small ones, the less involved.Like snakes I touched one at a fair in july, which was a big step for me.Others i'm trying to manage best i can, rationalise against them and can hopefully start working them through when my referral for counselling comes up.

Proud of you all for admitting them. sounds corny but it's the first step.
good thread idea hazel :)




'Fix me. Fix my head. Fix me please. I don't wanna be dead.
Someday. I'll feel no pain. Someday. I won't have a brain.They'll take away the part that hurts. And let the rest remain.'

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Old 03-09-2012, 11:46 PM   #11
Kittyenna
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what are your fears?
Men, the dark, catching a bus because if he got on I'd be stuck, having to see him, being out on my own, being fat, letting people down, breaking down completely

are they fears that you would be happier without?
Definitely yes

where did the fears come from?
Abuse

are they healthy?
Not really no

do they impact on your life?
Majorly, they stop me from going out, being able to get around, being able to sleep etc

are they rational?
I feel like they are, though probably not

do you feel that you are ready to confront them?
I'd like too, but I'm not sure

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Old 04-09-2012, 12:52 AM   #12
hellokittymad
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I would just like to say a massive well done to everyone for posting on this thread and **hugs**



"pretty pretty please dont you ever ever feel like your less than less than perfect"

"Don't ever change, you're perfect the way you are"
only a PM away for ANYONE

Gem [smurfette] is my little sister and my princess <3

R.I.P. Keith....31/10/12....forever missed
R.I.P. Lewis....18/01/13....forever I'll love you, forever missed

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