I haven't cut in almost two months and I'm pretty proud. I even have the one month free bracelet. My mom found out i was cutting in the worst way possible; i went too deep one night and she had to take me to the ER for 8 stitches. Since then shes been watching me like a hawk and i have had no choice but to try my hardest to quit cutting. The thing is, even though she is so proud of me for having the one month free bracelet, I've been doing other things to cope. I've went back to what i call welting(don't know if other people do this or have other names for it.) Making bruises, using bracelets and other flexible objects to make welts that will go away quickly but still provide a good amount of pain.
What i'm getting at is this: Am i lying by telling my mom and close friends that i'm "clean" from self harm, if i'm still doing those other things? Does anyone else have other self harm methods aside from cutting that they consider "not as bad" or "acceptable"? Please, any feedback would help. Thanks.
In my opinion, I do think that you saying that you're "clean" is considered lying. If you aren't telling them the complete truth about what you are doing and how you are feeling then they can't give you the help you truly need. If you don't mind me asking, are you getting any sort of professional help?
Saying you are clean from cutting is one thing, but you're not clean from self harm...and I think you should share this information with those who care about you. I know it's extremely hard, but if they already know about the cutting, maybe it won't be as bad. I do have other coping self harm ways besides cutting but I view them just as bad because I am still hurting myself in some way. But if you are telling them you are free from self harm (not just cutting) that would be lying. Hang in there hun, it'll get better *huggles* PM me if you need to talk
i do think that it is lying to say that you are clean from self harm. i also think that telling people that you are clean is hurting you because you are shutting off some of your chances to get help.
self harm (cutting, bruising, etc.) is a coping mechanism. it works very well in the short run, i can't deny that. if it didn't there wouldn't be nearly as many people on this site. in the long run though, it is a really terrible coping mechanism. it is dangerous, it makes the situation worse, hurts you and those around you, forces people into secrecy and shame, perpetuates bad feelings... the list goes on. it is very hard to quit self harming if you don't replace it with something, because you still need to cope somehow. it is important to ensure that you are replacing it with a positive and adaptive coping mechanism.
positive coping mechanisms generally let you express and work through your feelings and thoughts so that you can cope with them, or, they problem solve so that the situation gets better. things like art, music, writing, talking to others, and exercise, or a blend of some of them, can all be good coping mechanisms. can you think of anything that might work for you?
Last edited by PassedExpectations : 19-03-2012 at 12:46 AM.
this is my magical medicine cabinet. Left to right they contain: courage, hope, calmness, and strength.
The magical part: They NEVER run out, so borrow some any time you want.
No, im not receiving any professional help. My mom wants us to go to counseling but that hasnt happened yet, and im really worried about the aspect of opening up. I do have some distractions that help a little (writing, listening to music) but it neve feels like enough when the urges are strong. Thanks for the support.
You may find some of these things helpful for when the urges are strong. Sometimes writing and listening to music work when urges are more weak, but as they get stronger you need to do something to release that build up and energy. Maybe instead of the welting, try some things off this list instead. You can match it to how you feel and what sensation you want when you self harm, and in doing that it may help to release the tension.
I recommend trying counselling, I know it;s scary but if your mum is willing to help out it is worth trying x