I came very close to harming on Sunday but I resisted every single urge and managed to enjoy the end of my holiday without ruining it for me or my friends.
And yet, by heaven, I think my love as rare,
As any she belied with false compare.
I like this thread :) Today I managed to eat three meals and keep them down, which I didn't particularly feel like doing today. I also didn't hurt myself as a consequence of going against my own wishes. So not much to any sane person but can I be heroic anyway?
"And sometimes when our fights begin,
I think I'll let the Dragons win...
And then I think perhaps I won't,
Because they're Dragons, and I don't."
Conor, that's amazing! I'm glad you felt good about it.
LeClaire, you are a rockstar. :) I hope you had a wonderful time with miss Lillie!
Oliver, orchestra is wonderful. Glad it was a good time!
Clare, telling your parents sounds like a really good step. I hope it goes well from here and they can help you out as you need.
Kia, sometimes it's the little things that matter most. And think about what a hero you must be to him!
Emma, that is heroic! I hope it went well, those kinds of things can be all the tricky.
Alex, I hope the appointment went well! And congrats on the driving test, that's awesome.
Claire-Rose, I'm so glad you enjoyed your holiday :)
Ailsa, that is most definitely heroic. Those are all things that can be struggles, and I'm so glad you managed such a good day. Keep fighting!
As for me, I meant to report this a few days ago, but I made it through my acting showcase!
Claire (iateallthepies): You seem to be doing really well with showing your scars in public, and being very brave! Well done :) I hope you manage to go no sleeves where you live!
Emma (LavaLamp): I hate having to ring those sorts of people, they can be so unhelpful sometimes! and for it being sucessful is another challenge too so well done!
Alex (Scardey-cat): It seems like you've been all kinds of brave recently! I hope your assessment went well & well done for passing your theory test! I passed only last month and i can completely understand how scary and stressful it can be!
Claire-Rose (Petrichor): Well done for coping with your urges and enjoying your holiday! It can be very difficult, you should be very proud! :)
Ailsa: Eating and keping down meals is very good, well done! And managing to not hurt yourself for it is a really big step! :)
Ilana: Well done for getting through your showcase!! I really hate those things and i know it can be a huge amount of pressure, very proud of you!
I was put on some more tablets earlier this week, and had lots and lots of ideas to take more than i'm allowed but i haven't! I'm also very rubbish at taking tablets, and always forget but i've remembered all this week and taken the right dose!
p.s I used both usernames and proper names (stolen from Ilana, thank you!) because i know how rubbish i am and would get it wrong one way or another... Please forgive me!
And there will come a time, you'll see, with no more tears. And love will not break your heart, but dismiss your fears...
Thanks guys. Im a little worried that I came across too normal, because Immnot very good at admitting to stuff. But oh well.
Well done ailsa, ilana, kia. And the people i cant remember. You are all awesome
He was no longer jean valjean but no. 24601 -les miserable
Some of life's mysteries will never be solved, such as why, after spending an entire evening listenong to Bach, do I find myself humming "the birdie song".......
I am reaching, but i fall, and the stars are black and cold, as i stare into the void of a world that cannot hold- les miserables
EPICALLY-LONG POST ALERT. I realise I'm going back about a fortnight here, but I still want to congratulate ALL the people on their awesomeness.
Alex- Well done for your useful procrastination! Also, congrats on your theory test! Aaaaaaand, well done for calling the taxi company up for your assessment. I hope it went well :)
Jasmine- I'm very pleased you managed to be honest with your CPN. Good show!
Conor- Well done for showing ALL the arms! That's a brave step; I hope you found it very liberating!
LeClaire- Also well done for showing ALL the arms! I'm glad you already enjoyed the benefits of not being boiling hot!
Oliver- Congratulations on your orchestra rehearsal, and I hope the new people were nice :)
Clare- Well done for speaking to your parents; that's a great start :)
Kia- Your brother is so lucky to have you <3 And I'm so very proud of you for taking your new medication in the prescribed dose and not taking too many.
Emma- Hooray for overcoming phone phobia! We'll have you telephoning the authorities in no time :P
Claire-Rose- Well done for resisting ALL the self-harm urges. You're a star :)
Ailsa- That's really great that you managed to digest three meals. Your body will be really grateful!
Ilana- Well done for surviving the showcase!
Ssssssshhhh- Hooray for sleeves up!
Beckie- So wonderful to hear that you're trying hard to work with the staff; well done!
AlexWhoIsNotOtherAlex- Well done for talking to your husband about your OD urges, and for resisting the temptation to restrict.
We may not see eye to eye, but we can respect each other's opinions and find the truth in them.
Perhaps in those honest conversations, instead of demonising each other,
we might see each other as imperfect humans, doing our best. ~ Jodi Picoult
ALSO.
In Jenna-land, firstly I'd like to announce that Jodie (Bellatrix) is being ridiculously brave and heroic and working with the staff in hospital and really challenging herself with eating. And is 9 days free of purging I think! Which is a MASSIVE achievement for her.
And Allie (Petite Souris) was also incredibly heroic today. I won't say what she did in case she doesn't want me too, but yeah. HERO POINTS.
I have inconveniently forgotten to be a hero recently, but yesterday I had three incredibly legit meals. Like a pro. And I also threw my blades out.
We may not see eye to eye, but we can respect each other's opinions and find the truth in them.
Perhaps in those honest conversations, instead of demonising each other,
we might see each other as imperfect humans, doing our best. ~ Jodi Picoult
Well done on throwing the blades out and eating properly Jenna, and give my congratulations to Jodie and Allie too.
(also, I'd like to point out that it was not only ALL the arms, but ALL the chest and stomach too, which are also pretty much riddled with scars. So yes, it was extremely liberating. It may sound like I'm bragging, but that's because I totally am).
Some more heroic news (I won't go into much detail here because it would take half an hour to write it all) - I was working with my dad the other day and without any warning or provocation he started verbally abusing me. For the first time in my life, I stood up to him and told him that while I may have sat back and taken that crap as a child, I'm a grown man now and won't be disrespected by him or anyone. For the first time in my life, he apologised for his abuse. That was kind of a huge moment for me.
