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Old 04-12-2010, 01:55 AM   #1
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A/B FAQ: I experienced sexual pleasure during abuse. Does that mean I liked it?

Many people have gone through immense guilt, confusion and shame over feeling sexual pleasure during sexual abuse or rape. Experiencing sexual pleasure during abuse can not only confuse a person by making them think they “liked” it and think terrible things about themselves, but it is sometimes used as leverage by abusers. Quite often, if abusers noticed their victim’s body reacted to sexual stimulation they might say that it means the person enjoyed it, or call them dirty names. This makes the victim feel worse about an already traumatic experience.

First and foremost everyone should know that sexual pleasure is not something that can be controlled. All it really is, is the body’s reaction to a stimulation. A person’s reaction of sexual pleasure during sexual abuse is no different than a person’s reaction of pain during physical abuse. Your body cannot differentiate from a person you want to be sexual with and one you do not. It also does not know that you might be too young to experience any feelings like that. You should never blame yourself for something as physically involuntary as this.

Also, when you think about the feeling of “liking” or “enjoying” something, it is an emotion. Now of course, sometimes physical aspects come into play, but enjoyment is first and foremost an emotion. If you were raped/sexually abused you were obviously feeling, scared, sad, confused, and a mess of other painful emotions. Therefore, no matter what your physical reaction, you did not “like” it.

For questions about liking the attention during sexual abuse, please visit this thread:

http://www.recoveryourlife.com/forum...04#post2701804


Last edited by troubleshooter : 17-02-2011 at 07:53 AM.


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Old 04-12-2010, 01:57 AM   #2
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Old 04-12-2010, 06:32 PM   #3
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Thank you SO much for this
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Old 05-12-2010, 03:38 PM   #4
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There is a type of like though... it's hard to explain. It's not a 'like' as you would feel if you 'liked' having a hot chocolate. It's a like as though you enjoy being treated as you think you should.

I can't describe it properly, but I think it's important to point out that if you're feeling as though you like what is happening because you think you deserve it, or because it's the kind of 'love' and 'affection' the person abusing you shows you and you come to crave it because that's how you share your 'love' then that's different to real life 'like'.

Again, that made no sense.




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Old 05-12-2010, 03:57 PM   #5
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Quote:
Originally Posted by MeaCulpa View Post
There is a type of like though... it's hard to explain. It's not a 'like' as you would feel if you 'liked' having a hot chocolate. It's a like as though you enjoy being treated as you think you should.

I can't describe it properly, but I think it's important to point out that if you're feeling as though you like what is happening because you think you deserve it, or because it's the kind of 'love' and 'affection' the person abusing you shows you and you come to crave it because that's how you share your 'love' then that's different to real life 'like'.

Again, that made no sense.
i know what u meant. i think.

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Old 05-12-2010, 04:31 PM   #6
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Old 05-12-2010, 05:10 PM   #7
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Thank you for posting this. I think a lot of people feel guilty over this but like you said it's just a reaction. Like if someone tickled you and you laughed, or someone got you to smell black pepper and you sneezed, it's just your body reacting to stimulant.





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Old 05-12-2010, 05:37 PM   #8
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Quote:
Originally Posted by ducky10 View Post
Thank you for posting this. I think a lot of people feel guilty over this but like you said it's just a reaction. Like if someone tickled you and you laughed, or someone got you to smell black pepper and you sneezed, it's just your body reacting to stimulant.
this, because abuse is unwanted, doesnt mean your body isnt gonna react in any sort of way.

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Old 05-12-2010, 07:14 PM   #9
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I know what you mean Meaculpa, I might make a "liking the attention but not abuse" FAQ too. :)



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Old 15-02-2011, 08:42 PM   #10
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Old 15-02-2011, 11:01 PM   #11
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Thanks LOADS for this. <3



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Old 17-02-2011, 04:52 AM   #12
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Yeah, I need to write that up. I'll try to do it this week.



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Old 10-09-2011, 11:02 PM   #13
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Old 11-09-2011, 10:15 AM   #14
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so not my fault then, just stupid bodies fault for accidents.
why cant we control our bodies reactions? cause it makes them believe i like it when i dont and makes them do it more.

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Old 11-09-2011, 08:02 PM   #15
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Because it's an involuntary physical reaction. Honey they don't really believe you like it, they know you don't. They're just saying that to torment. you. *hugs*



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Old 07-12-2011, 08:05 PM   #16
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Old 07-12-2011, 10:29 PM   #17
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this is more than half the reason i hate myself so much, because i couldn't control my bodys reaction!

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