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Old 02-08-2010, 09:30 AM   #1
Flabbergast
 
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Getting into a routine when depression is winning.

I'm sure a lot of you know how depression can be; I have no energy, no anything, really. Just getting out of bed is horrible. I'm tired, my head hurts all the time, and I'm just having a really difficult time with this.

But I want to get over it. I need to get over it. I know I always feel better when I have a routine; when I'm awake during the day, when I'm showering every night, when I get dressed every morning. But keeping up with anything is impossible right now.

It seems like it should be as easy as write it down and do it. But I can't even bring myself to think of what I need to do every day, let alone do it.

Any ideas? Sorry if none of this makes sense.

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Old 02-08-2010, 09:46 AM   #2
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The fact you want to get over it and know you need to is something in your favour, and is going to be a massive help in your favour.

Would it help if you started with small goals? Like, make the goal "get up and do hair" and then even if you end up back it bed, you've completed one goal. Usually what happens is you get motivated by the completion of that one goal you will find yourself doing more than that, staying out of bed, or getting dressed etc. But if you don't that's okay too, these things take time and you have to be patient with yourself.

Maybe have things that will help you complete your goals close and within view of your bed (like, if it's get dressed lay your clothes out).

I think your determination is great & I really do admire it, so well done :) Also, your depression sounds like it is affecting your everyday life - are you on medication / visiting a doctor etc about it? Support can help you get through this, too.

xx

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Old 02-08-2010, 09:51 AM   #3
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Quote:
Maybe have things that will help you complete your goals close and within view of your bed
Ee, I really like this idea.
Thank you for the advice <3

And yes, I'm on medication, but I think I'm going to talk to the dr about changing it. I'm going to see him this week. I'm also going to be trying to get one on one therapy. At this point I'm willing to try anything.

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Old 02-08-2010, 02:11 PM   #4
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I know exactly what you mean. I know the best routine for me inside out to stay ahead of depression but sometimes it's just not as easy as knowing it!

Aimee is right though, the fact that you know this and want to do something about it is huge.

I'll tell you what I do if it might help? Like Aimee said, start off really small, and be proud of yourself when you achieve anything. To others it might seem tiny but all sufferers of depression will know what a big achievement it is to just get out of bed and wash.

I put my alarm across from my room. It makes me get out of bed just to get rid of the annoying noise! Although in severe times you may be tempted to put up with it for fear of moving.

Have everything you would like to achieve that day written down. I know this isn't the whole answer, but having it written down will help when your concentration is poor. Thinking you've forgotten something will only increase anxiety. When you do achieve it tick it off with a smiley face! (I know that's sad but it always cheers me up a little!)

If you don't achieve everything, and you probably won't as we all seem to expect far more from ourselves than is realistically possible, concentrate on what you have done and remember that there is always tomorrow.

When you go to bed make sure everything is how you would like it to be when you wake up. For me it's a tidy room, clean bedsheets, me in jim jams and not my day clothes, clean face and stuff sorted that I need tomorrow ie clothes, books, etc.

The most important thing is to keep fighting, and you're already doing that. So many people have the misconception that depression is cured with meds and you can just sit there and wait for them to work. We know that's not the case. It's a daily battle. Meds may open the door, but we're the ones that have to walk through it! (Sorry, sci fi fan here.) So if you don't do as well as you wanted to do today, remember that tomrrow you can try again. Be kind to yourself, don't shout at yourself in your head or berate yourself. Tell yourself when you lie down to go to sleep that you did good today and tomorrow you can do it again.

Much love xx

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Old 02-08-2010, 08:08 PM   #5
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Think about this one...

What do you want to do with your life?
Your main goal?
Break it up into what you need to do to accomplish that one goal.

So you'll actually have many small goals that'll keep you to your great big one.
and keep that in your mind.
It'll be hard, but it's possible.

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Old 03-08-2010, 07:11 AM   #6
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spiders*web has some really practical tips there, which I found useful to read, so just wanted to say thank you! I particularly like this one:

Quote:
When you go to bed make sure everything is how you would like it to be when you wake up. For me it's a tidy room, clean bedsheets, me in jim jams and not my day clothes, clean face and stuff sorted that I need tomorrow ie clothes, books, etc.

I find it helps if things are organised when I go to bed, so that they are like that when I wake up. With my clothes organised if possible so I can run on a basic auto pilot - get up, walk over, put on. Not think of what to wear, if it's appropriate for weather, how I look, try and find it, etc, which can start the day off with a lot of frustration.

Let us know how you're going if you'd like :)
Good idea to see your doctor, depending on how long you've been on it for it might be time to review it's efficacy. Counselling is a very good step too, especially as I can hear you do have a bit of motivation in you to get over this, and that's a great thing. Keep up the good work :D
x



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Old 03-08-2010, 10:22 AM   #7
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I can completely relate to how you're feeling right now. I don't feel like doing anything, ever. It's not good to spend your days doing nothing. I'm the same, and we need to force ourselves to do things. (i sound like such a hypocrite because I'm giving this advice but I don't take it myself!). Maybe you could arrange to do one thing every day (or at least every other day), even if it's only something like going for a walk with a friend, or going to the shop? I agree with angel wings, you need to start with small goals :)



"don't forget the songs that made you cry, and the songs that saved your life..."

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Old 03-08-2010, 12:41 PM   #8
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Wow, some good advice there. I just want you to know that you're not alone in this in the slightest (although you've probabaly already relised that from reading this thread!) I have a lot of problems like this too and I find what really gets me up in the morning is listening to some really upbeat music about people being carefree and just basically having a good time. My favourites at the moment are practically anything by Kesha or Katy Perry.

I also find that having some positivbe quotes by my bedside really helps and there are some wonderful books full of positive quotes you can buy or even start to create a list of your own. My favourite quote book at the moment is called 1000 Paths to Confidence and only cost me a fiver. Bargain I reckon!

Another idea is if it's not too much work try and use your daily routine to help you feel better, so for example if one of your goals is to have a bath why not put some aromatherapy oils in there to soothe your body, if one of your goals is to comb your hair why not try a new hairstyle that will make you feel pretty.
Good luck, I really hope things go well with your doctor this week.
*hugs*
Kiran
xx






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Old 04-08-2010, 02:30 AM   #9
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i'm definitely going through the same thing right now. i agree with writing down what you want to do for the day. that's what i do. so it gives you stuff to accomplish and you can see it. i even write simple things like taking a shower down so i automatically have something to check off. maybe that's strange but it helps me.

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Old 06-08-2010, 12:33 AM   #10
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That's not strange at all! Often the top of my list is 'get up' ! I'm a PhD candidate so as I don't have to check in anywhere there are many days where this does not get checked off the list.

I'm glad you found what I said helpful Aimee :) Hope the OP is doing well

Much love xx

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Old 06-08-2010, 01:53 AM   #11
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Thank you all for you advice and support (:
Lately I've been making little lists on my Tumblr, partly to remember what it is I want to do, partly to praise myself when I do it. I've also been getting dressed (eventually, haha) even without anywhere to go. It always makes me feel better to be wearing actual clothes.

You guys are awesome <3

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Old 07-08-2010, 10:47 PM   #12
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Just an extra tip. And not an easy one. But try and get out of bed and do something virtually as soon as you wake up. The longer I stay in bed the harder it is for me to get out of it! Especially as I often have nowhere to go and nothing to do.

I feel a million times better if I get up early(ish), get dressed, shower, have breakfast, and walk dogs. I know that is a lot of goals all at once, but as Aimee said before, once you have done one, the others become easier. And I find getting out of bed and outside as early as possible really makes the rest of the day so much easier.

Maybe not yet, but a volunteer job might help provide a bit more of a routine as well. I volunteer twice a week and feel so much better those days because I am actually doing something useful rather than sitting in bed all day.



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Old 08-08-2010, 02:07 AM   #13
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I don't really have any good advice right now, but I just wanted to let you know that you are def not alone. A lot of us are having the same struggles. Today I stayed in bed til 3:15 Pm!!! But if you get a pet or something (not sure if that's at all possible...) it helps to know you have to get up and take care of that pet. Unfortunately for me, my pet is just as lazy as I am and will let me sleep in til 3... lol



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Old 20-11-2010, 12:35 AM   #14
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*Bumps thread*
I think everyone has given really good advice here. I'm struggeling with depression too at the moment. Just need to get back into a routine i guess. I'm going to try out some of the tips :).





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Old 20-11-2010, 08:48 AM   #15
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Thanks for bumping this thread ^ !
Good advice and reminders in here
:)

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Old 17-05-2012, 11:47 PM   #16
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Im there with you!

I am too having a hard time finding a routine in my day. Ive tried a to-do list, which is helpful, but I find my chores to be meaningless. I can't believe I got here, and I don't quite know how to get on with the rest of my life. Why am I contemplating the meaning of everything? My therapist asks me what I enjoy doing. The sad part is that I don't really know anymore.

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