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Old 16-08-2007, 07:00 PM   #1
Lincoln
 
Join Date: Jun 2007
Why do i think the worst in people?

i didnt used to be like this but now all the time
when someone says something i always think the worst like....

girlfriend is going camping my thought is shes gunna go off and do stuff with other guys... pretty much think that when ever she does something with out me.
i think stuff similar to that all the time and also stuff like thinking the worst in people and not giving a fuss over the good stuff in them.

i cant help but think of the worst of people when i find out stuff about them.

thing is i do alot of thinking when im bored and then i just start to think of bad stuff in people and it gets me down. and i cant help but think about that kind of stuff some times.

i dunno its just annoying cos i dont want to see the worst in people as who they are. exspecial my girlfriend cos it turns me right off her and iv done it about 4 times and even saying "i dont know if i want to be with u anymore" cos i now know some of the worst things about her/stuff shes done.
and i dont want to think that when i think about her when shes away from me.

what can i do?

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Old 16-08-2007, 09:58 PM   #2
lostdoll
 
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Why don't you try and introduce some positivity into your life, because it sounds at the moment that negativity is taking control. Positivity is always stronger and more powerful than negativity. Even the smallest bit can help :)

So, next time bad thoughts enter your head and you become aware of them - stop, and try to think the opposite, or else go and distract yourself by talking to people, play games online, anything. Or, maybe you'd prefer to write those bad thoughts down instead of letting them take over in your head and get you down. Write them down on paper and tear it up. Visualise your negativity being destroyed as well, then bin it, and make sure its gone, both in real life and in your head.

You might want to get a happy box, something to brighten up your mood when you feel down. Put in good memories of your gf (especially when you're thinking bad thoughts of her), any e-mails/notes she's sent you, photographs of good times and remember all the good things about her. You could even make an actual list of the wonderful qualities that she has. Everyone has something good about them, don't forget it.

Try turning around any instant bad thoughts that enter your head when you're thinking of people. It might be a difficult exercise, but hopefulyl with time it'll get better.

You can do this, have faith in yourself :)
xo

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Old 17-08-2007, 08:55 AM   #3
Tears and Rain
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Sometimes it can be easy to fall into always thinking the worst. I know I feel into it quite easily. We sometimes do it in a way as a coping method in preparing ourselves for the worst so it doesn't seem so bad when it comes. But that's never the way to go.
To acknowledge to yourself that you're doing this is a really good start to trying to stop the negative thoughts. When you see yourself coming up with these thoughts you can try and stop your mind wandering onto them too much, or at least try to. Distract yourself from the thoughts by doing something else or just something to take your mind off of them.
I heard once that a method that can sometimes work is writing down a list of all of the negative thoughts your having and then actually "crossing them off" when one comes true. And more likely than not none or very few will. It sort of puts your mind set in a different place, or at least it can do.
I hope you find ways to sort around them, sorry I can't be of any more help x



"Be nice. Think happy thoughts. Champion silver linings. Love all things (not just cute things like babies and kittens) & when you do love - love like they do in power ballads (you know like on a cliff with the wind in your hair and your eyes shut, knowing you'll never know love like this). Watch out for dog poo. Smile at people - even grumpy ones. Remember anything is possible & whatever you do always try to look on the bright side."

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Old 17-08-2007, 01:58 PM   #4
Sooty
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I agree with the other posters, negative thoughts can take over sometimes. This could be because you've been hurt in the past and you think of all the bad things that could happen to prepare yourself incase something bad happens but then this can turn into thinking negatively of everything. Tears and rain had a good idea with the list perhaps as well as having a list of negative thoughts you could write a simultanious (spelling prob wrong) list of positive things to counter the negative. There is nothing that is 100% positive but there is always a positive in everything, it's training your mind to find the positive which is difficult. Good luck and take care.
Sophie.x



Soon... Now will be then...Today will be yesterday... Present will be past...And thought will be memory... So...Live for the future! Make your future how you want it!

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