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Old 05-08-2007, 05:35 AM   #1
forever scarred
 
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Triggering (SI/Sexual Abuse) - I dont know.....(ADULT)

Okay I have to write this down somewhere because its messing with me....

Okay my mom works on Sundays of the weekend. She used to when this happened work saturdays and sundays and my dad used to work the weekends. Well one weekend when my mom was at work and I was doing the dishes. Dad came up and hugged me. I didnt think anything of it you know cause parents hug there kids, but he was hugging me tightly.So I just turned around and hugged him you know. But he didnt like that so he let go of me. I was thinking 'Okay whatever...' and then when i went back to doing the dishes again he put his arms around my chest and arms tightly to where it almost hurt. And he pressed me the bottom half of me into the counter and that hurt alot. And i couldnt move because he was pressed into me and i was pressed into the counter. he started jabbing my sides so that i would jump and move around. I was scared of saying anything because I didnt want him you know getting mad at me and then telling mom that he hugged me and i thought he was trying to sexually abuse me and then have her hate me to. So I didnt say anything. And I could tell dad was horny... He kept it up for about ten minutes then he asked me if I liked it and I told him no so he moved and went over to the other counter across from me and then he said that he was just hugging me. And I said that i like hugs from my friends not from my parents. So he came back over to me and moved my hair back off my neck and started kissing my neck.....I didnt like that at all. And then he said " well you only get those kisses from me." And then he left to go to work. I was in hysterics till i knew mom was coming home then i calmed down. At school that monday was bad because i was crying a bit and i was yelling at my friends and making people upset and noone knows why. Then I got into cutting myself because i had did it in the past when my brother died. and then my mom found it and her and dad questioned me. "We havent done anything to make you do that right? Its not our fault is it? " and the questions go on endlessly. but i answered no to all of them....I dont want people to know what happened yet im scared to death of it happening again. I dont think it will but there is always that possibility. And I love my family and dont want to get any of them into trouble with anything.. I dont know what to do becuase it seems like everything i do this connects with somehow....

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Old 05-08-2007, 02:08 PM   #2
bloodletting
wish someone cared enough to stop me....
 
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*hugs* sweetie i know how sacry that must have been, and you say that you dont want to get anyone in trouble, but what your dad did already was abuse, he used in a sexual way to please himself. and i am hoping that it was just a one time thing, but sometimes that's not always the case, if he gets away with it this time then he may just do it or something else again. he may want to see how far he can push you, it's called grooming hun, he may be taking it slow so he doesnt scare you.
i think you could maybe try to talk with someone you feel close to and trust, you shouldnt have to be in this alone.
and if your dad is getting to close to you try to let him know that you dont like it, maybe if you can find the courage to tell him to back off he may just listen.
Pm me anytime if you need to talk sweetie xoxoxoxox



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Old 05-08-2007, 11:24 PM   #3
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But the thing is him and my mom dont get along very well and when they do everything is great...and i dont want anything to happen to cause them to break it up.and as for talking to someone that is close that i trust well I dont really have anyone. Well I have friends but none I trust that far.... my counselor and i are kinda close but I havent told her about that because she will tell my mom or have DCFS come or something and i dont want that period. But thanks I might try to find someone i can trust. I hope.

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Old 06-08-2007, 08:35 AM   #4
Comely
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You have to think of yourself right now. Your safety is at risk. If your Father were to decide to try this again....well,I know what could happen is what is making you so afraid. But really....I know how hard it is to think that you shouldn't just take what is happening to you....I really do...but for your own safety,you have to confide this in someone who can help. Maybe your Father needs someone he can talk to. Don't give this opportunity to become worse,nip it in the bud. Not helping you will destroy you...and thus your family too,hun.Think of yourself.




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Old 06-08-2007, 10:16 AM   #5
bloodletting
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i agree with above post....if your parents were to split it wouldnt be because of anything you've done, it would be because of your dads actions. he's done enough damage already, dont let it go any further, or it might destroy you. is there any way you can bring it up with your counsellor without giving details etc, i dunno i just think you shouldnt have to work this out alone.
sorry i couldnt help more xoxoxox
Pm if you need to talk more



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Old 06-08-2007, 09:07 PM   #6
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Thanks everyone.....i just i dont know.....I will try to tell my counselor when I see her next.

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Old 07-08-2007, 08:20 PM   #7
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Okay I told a really good friend of mine that goes to my school. And he wasnt very surprised......but i kinda promised him not to tell anyone.......

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Old 20-08-2007, 11:01 AM   #8
~JellyBaby~
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Honey, you need to try your best to tell an adult, even if you don't want them to do anything atm, you need support, that right there was abuse and what if it was to continue? By telling an aadult, you don't necessarily have to deal with it now, but if you start seeing the signs or feeling unsafe in any way, you have somewhere to run and someone to turn to. Don't let this go on honey, this isn't your fault it's his and you don't deserve to suffer for it. *big hugs*
Stay safe, lotsa love, Amy xxx




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