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Old 29-07-2007, 06:58 PM   #1
pea soup
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Join Date: Jun 2007
Location: at the end of the rainbow
I am currently:
Grieving my Lost Childhood...

i realize thats whats happening.
im not angry anymore...only deep sadness.
never felt like this before.
i was more comfortable with anger.
ive tried getting angry about it all.....but im just so sad.
i'll never get back what is lost.
then again....i really dont know what i lost because i never had it. that confuses me.
my words are stuck.
i cant get them out and its frustrating.
i want to cry but cant.

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Old 01-08-2007, 10:48 AM   #2
The Shadow of the Day
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Join Date: Oct 2004
Location: Scotland

I'm so sorry about the delay in replying to your thread. I can hear how frustrating this is for you, it sounds as if you have felt angry for so long that you have learnt how to deal with it, but this sadness is new and strange for you. Maybe you could look into ways to help you cope with the sadness, it might help to talk through how you are feeling or write things down. You're moving on, as tempting as it may be to make yourself go back to feeling anger, that's exactly what you would be doing: going back.

I think that it's important to fully acknowledge how you are feeling, explore your feelings, and try to work through them. I know that you can't get your childhood back, and you say that you're unsure of what childhood is really like to feel that loss. No one can go back, and the most important time is the here and now, you can make this what you want it to be. I hope that you find a way to cope with your emotions. Please get in touch any time. Take care. xxx

I put it down on paper and then the ghost does not ache so much.

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Old 01-08-2007, 06:32 PM   #3
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Join Date: Sep 2005

I understand.

I am dealing with a pretty similar process.

It aches, that deep deep sadness.

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Old 28-08-2007, 05:23 AM   #4
You seem so bruised,and it's beautiful
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Join Date: Aug 2007
Location: Ontario,Canada
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It is strange,when you suffered an abusive or disgruntled childhood,to think of what it could be like otherwise,isn't it?

I feel the same way.Guilty and very very sad. Wanting more from it,but not knowing what it is that I want.


"You're in the bathroom carving holiday designs into yourself,hoping no one would find you.But THEY found you,and they took you,and you somehow survived."

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