Alone

[littlemermaid]

im lonely. I feel all alone. bawled my eyes out

i feel fat and gross and hungry.

i guess this is what happens when I stay up late.

im just alone. all the time even when i am with people

[crazykat]

Lonely is a hard feeling to sit with, have you got someone that can be with you to help you feel less alone? Otherwise could you put a movie or some music on to help distract yourself. I am sure your not fat, what's got you thinking that? Try and be gentle on yourself. Take care
Kat xxx

[PassedExpectations]

did you get some sleep? i hope that you did. being tired can really mess with other emotions. i always end up in tears over little stuff if i haven't gotten enough sleep

[littlemermaid]

i watched a movie, but thats what made me feel worse.

im just alone.

and i feel fat cause I am. I gained like a ton of weight abroad and i HAVE to loose it. ALL and more.....

[xxhappydaysxx]

Is there a different movie which makes you feel safe?

I doubt you are as fat as your say you are, if you are set on loosing weight, please try and do so healthily. Although I am concerned that your perception of your weight and need to loose it isn't accurate at the moment.

Try and reach out to people around you, loneliness can sometimes be relieved a little by letting others in.

[littlemermaid]

i know i have a distorted body image...but even though i know i still see myself as gross.

I dont have anyone i can let in. I let people in too much and scared them away, now i cant say much of anything, i have one friend we talk about everything...we text, she lives in a different state. I have her and my therapist.

im having really bad thoughts. I want to die. Im not planning on neccarily doing anything to make that happen, but i do want to hurt myself.

[TheseDays]

I'm sorry things are tough at the moment. I know you probably won't believe me but you are not fat and do not need to lose weight. You are beautiful however you look. If you are feeling unsafe and did make plans would you be able to reach out for help? Feel free to pm me if you want.

Take care

Kate x

[littlemermaid]

I dont know.

I very much want to be gone forever

the urges are bad.

but i just really want to cut, sleep, and go see my person tmrw.

[PassedExpectations]

try to skip the cutting part of that last sentence. get some sleep, and see how things are in the morning, and then visit the person... perhaps you would find listening to music while you're falling asleep helpful, or listen to the audio of a safe movie/listen to a book on tape or cd

[crazykat]

What can you do to distract yourself? Remember the way you are feeling will pass and that you won't always feel this bad. If you feel unable to stay safe it might be worth going down to your local A&E so you can get that extra support you need. Hold on there
Kat xxx