I have a really cool roommate but we never talk about anything serious. In previous houseshares I've retreated to my room and found it hard to engage. Part of the reason I started seeing a therapist was so I could appear "normal" at home.
I've not been able to have sexual relationships due to the abuse I've suffered in the past. I'm trying to work through that in therapy just now. But my roommate never dated which made me feel like less of a freak.
At the weekend I got home early from work and came into the hallway to find her with a random guy. She was really embarrassed about it. Then I had to listen to them having sex in the next room.
I feel so triggered. I haven't been able to face her and have just been crying in my room ever since. I hadn't self harmed in years and now I've thrown all that away.
I normally see my therapist today but was unable to make the appointment so I have to wait until next week.
In some ways i think its logical to fear unsafe having a strange man in your apartment. Or to be uncomfortable hearing your friend having sex. But part of me just feels really pathetic