Thanks everyone. I stupidly missed my chance to walk off the ward in the five seconds no one was sitting in the corridor. I’m not going to get better. I’m a bit doped up or regular lorazepam and a med increase. Bored. Wish i had some easy visitors.
I put it down on paper and then the ghost does not ache so much.
Don't try to calm the storm, calm yourself, the storm will pass.
They said something about seeing the IP psychologist i think. I have a wordsearch book and my kindle and diary. It’s just hard to focus on things. Here goes another day that shouldn’t exist.
I put it down on paper and then the ghost does not ache so much.
Don't try to calm the storm, calm yourself, the storm will pass.
I wish it was easier to type on here on my phone. It doesn’t help that i’m doped up to double vision. I’m really distressed. Yesterday the doctor said i could have 5 minutes unescourted time at the door. Me and the nurse knew it was a bad idea but i have to be making progress. I did lots of research and headed out for ‘5’ minutes when i knew there would be a train leaving the station. I had to go onto another train after that to get to a station where my research told me i would be on time for a passing high speed train. A police officer phoned and i didn’t answer. A nurse i trust phoned and left a message and i called back because i trusted her and i was near my destination anyway.
Unfortunately i heard a very fast police car with its sirens when i got off the train and i walked to the other side of the platform where the high speed train was due but they got to me. Once they had put me in their car the train passed. :( i should be in pieces. I want to do it tonight but i’m not allowed off the ward now and there’s always someone watching the corridor. The staff on tonight are unhelpful. The nurse i spoke to yesterday is going to be on the night shift and might speak to me again as i think she said she would. This is all so traumatic and hopeless. I cannot do this!
I put it down on paper and then the ghost does not ache so much.
Don't try to calm the storm, calm yourself, the storm will pass.
I don't know what to say other than I'm sorry that things are still so difficult for you. Things are never as hopeless as they may seem. I hope you get to speak to the nurse tonight.
I'm so sorry you're still so distressed lindsay
I'm glad you didn't get to do it
You are so valued here and I wish you could see it too
Sorry I can't think of anything helpful to say
Stay strong
I'm fine! Totally fine. I don't know why it's coming out all loud and squeaky, 'cause really, I'm fine!
Thank you both. This is all just too much. I’m on lorazepam 4 times a day but that will be stopped before i’m discharged. My aripiprazole has been increased. Trazodone has been added alongside my fluoxetine. I was supposed to see the inpatient psychologist but then that was cancelled. I’ve found a way to bash my head without them hearing. As Slipknot say all i’ve got is insane.
I put it down on paper and then the ghost does not ache so much.
Don't try to calm the storm, calm yourself, the storm will pass.
Oh no, it sounds like you've been having such an awful time :( I agree with everything the others have said and I'm so pleased that you didn't get to follow through with your plan.
I really hope the new and changed medications are helpful. How come seeing the psychologist got cancelled?
Thanks everyone. The psychologist was cabcelled because i said i wasn’t sure ut would help but i wanted an assessment. I have been rereferred. I want ti communicare here more but my vision is weird and it’s stressgul to try and correct everything. I’m going for my cardiology appoiny tomorrow and hope thry’ll also take me home to pick up some things.
I put it down on paper and then the ghost does not ache so much.
Don't try to calm the storm, calm yourself, the storm will pass.
My brother collected some things. I spoke to a nurse today to come up with a plan. I’ve to eat 3 small meals because my eating less is affecting my blood pressure and general health. I see the doc on Tuesdsy to go over the plan with him which is to have more time on the hospital grounds, go to the gym group on Thursday, have a day on the ward on Friday. Then a day pass on sat or sun. I think i might be allowed more day passes then overnights. Depending on how thinhs go i could be discharged in around 2 weeks. Still feeling a bit vulnerable and hope my doc will find an alternative to lorazepam as he says i can’t comtinue it at hom
I put it down on paper and then the ghost does not ache so much.
Don't try to calm the storm, calm yourself, the storm will pass.
