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Old 24-08-2019, 03:09 PM   #181
Cacoethes
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I'm trying to

I do find swimming helpful
I manage to switch off a bit and just enjoy being in the water
Plus the whole exercise releases endorphins thing



I'm fine! Totally fine. I don't know why it's coming out all loud and squeaky, 'cause really, I'm fine!


Who else is fine?!?!?


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Old 24-08-2019, 05:57 PM   #182
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It does sound like a really good thing for you. I hope you can continue with it and feel the benefits again.





I put it down on paper and then the ghost does not ache so much.


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Old 24-08-2019, 06:29 PM   #183
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Thanks
I hope so too



I'm fine! Totally fine. I don't know why it's coming out all loud and squeaky, 'cause really, I'm fine!


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Old 24-08-2019, 06:51 PM   #184
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So medical grade microchips are a technology that is in the process of creation, but it's not a working technology yet. There hasn't been a way to make a microchip safe to be implanted in the human body. You can't just take any silicon chip and put it in a human. That's not something a body can tolerate safely.

Also to put something in your neck, as said, that's a very dangerous medical procedure. There's no way someone like a hair stylist could do that to you while you were awake. You'd need actual surgery and trained medical professionals for that.

Further, there's no ethical way at this stage that something like that could be done to you. As far as I'm aware that technology still hasn't even hit the animal testing stage yet.

I know the thoughts and feelings are likely not fun to sit with or try to challenge, but what you are describing just is legitimately not possible based on the current limits of science or medicine. Your feelings are absolutely valid though.

Please let me know if this is upsetting and I will delete it. I'm glad you are getting back in to swimming!!



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Old 24-08-2019, 07:16 PM   #185
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Thank you for explaining that Camden
It is quite reassuring



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Old 24-08-2019, 09:52 PM   #186
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Okay good. I was a bit concerned it might upset you. I know when I am concerned about things, my therapist tries to tell me to test the thoughts using the scientific method and looking for evidence. I find it helpful, and that is basically what I was trying to do with the thoughts you had. Even if you aren't familiar with the scientific method, trying to evaluate your concerns using facts and logic is basically the same idea. I know it can be harder to do when it's your own head telling you things are true, but that's the general idea at least.

My therapist also says that we often look for connections and things that fit with what we are trying to prove while ignoring the things that do not fit. So for example there might be ten different ideas that have a scientific basis that would not support the idea of a microchip in your neck, but instead of focusing on those ten ideas, you instead choose to focus on the fact that you felt an unpleasant sensation on the back of your neck (I sort of paraphrased but it's an example), thus proving the microchip's existence true. So that's why it's really important to try to look at the broader picture and not just try to confirm what you believe true but also try to disprove it too.

Then when you have evidence for both sides, you can evaluate things with less bias. I hope that makes some sense. Also sometimes if I am feeling stuck because I tend to apply things differently to myself than others, I try to imagine the thing happening either in theory, or think about how I would react if someone I cared about told me that it was true, what evidence I might look for then. Sometimes at least for me it is easier to apply ideas to concepts when it isn't about yourself because there's less anxiety or pressure.


Have you done anything nice this weekend?



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Old 25-08-2019, 11:45 AM   #187
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That does make sense
Thank you

I've not done much
Went swimming yesterday and had a lie in today



I'm fine! Totally fine. I don't know why it's coming out all loud and squeaky, 'cause really, I'm fine!


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Old 25-08-2019, 12:59 PM   #188
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Both those things sound pretty nice to me. Doing nothing and resting is definitely something, and just as important when it comes to taking care of yourself as actively doing things.



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Old 25-08-2019, 01:08 PM   #189
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Yes you're right
Trying to do some self care things



I'm fine! Totally fine. I don't know why it's coming out all loud and squeaky, 'cause really, I'm fine!


Who else is fine?!?!?


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Old 11-09-2019, 02:45 PM   #190
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Sorry to bump this old thread but I saw my CC today and she said psych is considering hospital for me if things don't get better and that I am unwell.
I am extremely pissed off because its not like I've done anything dangerous!
Now I don't want to be honest with her but she'll know if I'm not.
I am concerned



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Old 11-09-2019, 03:01 PM   #191
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Don't ever worry about bumping threads!
I'm sorry you're feeling so pissed off but sometimes we're unwell and we don't do dangerous things but we still need treatment, if that makes sense. Did she explain the doctor's concerns to you? I think it's always best to be honest as much as you can <3







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Old 11-09-2019, 03:33 PM   #192
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Thanks for replying
It makes sense but I don't see myself as unwell
She didn't explain much really
Just that it's possible I could be admitted
I have been being honest but that doesn't seem to be getting me anywhere, just a potential hospital admission.
I really really don't want to go back to hospital



I'm fine! Totally fine. I don't know why it's coming out all loud and squeaky, 'cause really, I'm fine!


Who else is fine?!?!?


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Old 11-09-2019, 03:37 PM   #193
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It's understandable you don't want to go to hospital, hospitals aren't the nicest of places.

The thing about being unwell is often we can't see we're unwell, it's really horrible but sadly that's how it is sometimes. Next time you see her do you think it would be helpful for you if you were to find out some of their concerns?







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Old 11-09-2019, 04:00 PM   #194
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I think it would be helpful to find out their concerns
I should have asked really.

Apparently the doctor has written me up for more anti psychotics and CC is going to drop off the prescription later.
Waiting for my clozapine levels to come through so he can increase that too
I don't want all these meds



I'm fine! Totally fine. I don't know why it's coming out all loud and squeaky, 'cause really, I'm fine!


Who else is fine?!?!?


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Old 11-09-2019, 04:07 PM   #195
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Meds aren't ideal, I know, but hopefully the meds would help prevent you from having to go into hospital. I'm sorry you're going through this and I hope you and your treatment team can work out something that makes you all feel ok. Please ask your CC any questions you have, that's what she's there for.





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Old 11-09-2019, 04:19 PM   #196
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I know I need to take them to stay out of hospital.
It's just such a pain. I hate the side effects and I hate that I have to take them just to function.
I have been getting OD thoughts again but apparently if I OD then I will definitely be admitted.
I feel so stuck



I'm fine! Totally fine. I don't know why it's coming out all loud and squeaky, 'cause really, I'm fine!


Who else is fine?!?!?


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Old 11-09-2019, 04:20 PM   #197
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I know, it can be a huge pain. It doesn't mean that you'll always be on so much meds though. Please try hard not to OD, it wouldn't solve anything. What would unstuck look like to you?





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Old 11-09-2019, 04:35 PM   #198
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I just want to be left alone really.
There are sooo many people who want and need the support that I'm getting and it's not fair on them. I don't need this much support.
I'm not sure what unstuck would look like.
Not backed into a corner I suppose



I'm fine! Totally fine. I don't know why it's coming out all loud and squeaky, 'cause really, I'm fine!


Who else is fine?!?!?


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Old 11-09-2019, 09:59 PM   #199
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Is it possible that while there's plenty of people who need the support, you also deserve support too, even if you don't see yourself as unwell? Struggling, coping, unwell, or well, everyone deserves to have support.

I hope you can speak to someone to find out what their concerns are and what steps you can take to avoid hospital. I know it's hard when presented with such limited options and neither are ideal. I guess sometimes it's going with the lesser of two evils of whichever option sucks less. Maybe also when you speak to someone you can ask if there are other options worth exploring? Didn't you do a day program at some point? Or staying with your mum and Jasmine for a few days? I dunno. Maybe there are other options that exist, your providers just haven't thought through them yet.



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Old 12-09-2019, 02:58 PM   #200
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I suppose so.
I just think that the resources could be used for someone who is actually in need

I'm starting a support group on the 27th so maybe that will be a good step

I'm seeing my CC again on Wednesday so I'll ask here more details then



I'm fine! Totally fine. I don't know why it's coming out all loud and squeaky, 'cause really, I'm fine!


Who else is fine?!?!?


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