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Old 28-12-2016, 01:15 PM   #1
itsallgreektome's Avatar
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Am I trans?

I don't know where to put this so feel free to move it.

I am biologically female. But for years I wish I had a penis and testicles. I hate some aspects of being female and I don't want kids. I never want to become pregnant and if there was some permanent way of making it happen I would take it. I hate having periods.

I have dreams where I have tackle. I wake up and it hurts me to know that it's not true. I asked my ex what would happen if I had a penis and he said that he would dump me. I don't know if I am just living a lie or if it's just fantasy. Help?!

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Old 28-12-2016, 01:55 PM   #2
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I think you will find quite a lot of people that don't like parts about their gender. Quite a lot of women these days don't want kids. And as a women who is content with being a women I hate having periods.

I think the things that are perhaps more unusual, is wanting different sexual organs.

Have you ever discussed this with your GP or anyone like that?

It sounds like it would be helpful for you to have a space to explore this with someone where there isn't going to be any judgements. There are counsellors who specialize in gender identity, this is something that may be helpful to you.

No one can tell you whether you are "trans" or not, I don't think that would be fair. And it sounds like you don't really know right now, and is something you might find exploring your thoughts around useful.

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Old 28-12-2016, 07:51 PM   #3
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Thanks Wonderland. No I haven't discussed it with a gp or anyone. I wouldn't know where to start.

Although I have seen counsellors in the past I, perhaps rather naively, didn't know there was such a thing as gender identity counsellors. Do you know where I can get to see one?

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Old 30-12-2016, 04:07 AM   #4
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Originally Posted by La araña discoteca View Post
If you don't want to talk to them at this point in time maybe look up LGBT centers or organizations in your area. They usually offer some form of counselling or at least the opportunity to discuss how you feel with others who experience similar feelings and thoughts.
Very much echo this advice.

'Never forget what you are. The rest of the world will not. Wear it like armor, and it can never be used to hurt you.'

['There is only one thing we say to death. Not today'.']

'We are each our own devil, and we make this world our hell.’ – Oscar Wilde
‘It’s hard to dance with the devil on your back.’ Sydney Carter

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Old 30-12-2016, 05:04 PM   #5
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Thanks everybody.

I had a look on Google and there doesn't appear to be any lgbt groups in my area so it looks like I have to approach my gp.

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Old 30-12-2016, 11:21 PM   #6
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If you're in the U.K. I might be able to point you in the direction of some helpful resources/links/groups. If you want to pm me I can send you anything I've got?

"this is the room where you don't have to be brave"

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Old 01-01-2017, 10:24 PM   #7
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Auror I am in the UK. I don't attend Uni and there isn't any pride events in my nearest town. I did do a Google search for transgender and a general support network came up that covers my area although their meetings are held 2 counties away. I plan to email them once the holidays are over to see if they know of anywhere closer that does counselling (their website focused on practical rather than emotional help). I wouldn't have thought to look if it wasn't for your reply so I thank you.

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Old 14-01-2017, 08:37 AM   #8
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Sounds like it might be time for a Gender Identity Therapist! My friend got one and it was the best thing for him. He is a transmale and knew it from the first appointment but even since transitioning, his therapist has always been there to talk to, make suggestions, and help in every aspect of his life.

And if you're on the fence, maybe a therapist can help you decide if transitioning is right for you.

Because it is NOT for everybody. It IS permanent. You take 5 years (at least) off of your life by starting T.

It is challenging. It is rewarding. But going to a therapist can help you better answer your question.

Maybe get a binder or a packer and play around with different gender identities? There's a whole world out there

Good luck x

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Old 17-01-2017, 05:24 PM   #9
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Thanks for the suggestions - I will look into them. I have looked into binders and I have yet to find one in my size as I am plus sized.

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Old 18-01-2017, 03:58 PM   #10
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Thanks Auror. I did come across Underworks but they don't do my size (5xl). GC2B do have my size but international postage isn't a problem.

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Old 10-02-2017, 07:42 PM   #11
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Just to say, the thing about testosterone taking 5 years off of your life is crap. No evidence supports this claim at all. There are loads of cis guys on testosterone and their life spans are not decreased.

I would talk to your GP and get refereed to a GIC [even just for chatting things through with a specialist]. Waiting lists are super long at the moment so Charring Cross is your best bet I think. Definitely get refereed to a counselor to talk it all through as well though. It's a hard decision to make to be honest.

Underworks were always my go to for binders, before surgery, but I've heard good things about GC2B.

There are lots of support groups out there, so have a google and see what you can find. I recommend the Queer Youth Network, facebook has a lot too though. :]

Hope that helps.

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You will find wonder wherever you can, and spread joy whenever you are able.

I felt emotions of gentleness and pleasure, that had long appeared dead, divide within me. - Frankenstein.

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