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Old 07-05-2019, 07:13 PM   #481
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Well done. I hope it's helpful. Do you get on OK with your doctor?

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Old 07-05-2019, 08:35 PM   #482
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Thanks. Don't think it'll be any use really. Just going so that the cmht don't freak put when I tell them.

Really low tonight. Tired of fighting.



Given enough tea I could rule the world.


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Old 08-05-2019, 01:44 PM   #483
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I'm glad you went to the appointment, how did you get on?





I put it down on paper and then the ghost does not ache so much.


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Old 08-05-2019, 02:46 PM   #484
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Hope the appointment went ok x

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Old 08-05-2019, 05:53 PM   #485
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The dr was nice. I like her.

Unfortunately the same isn't true for my care coordinator. She basically blamed everything on me when she called at lunch and insinuated I won't get therapy if I'm continually in crisis even though there's no one to give me therapy anyway.



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Old 08-05-2019, 06:32 PM   #486
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That's pretty judgemental and horrible of your CC, totally uncalled for. I'm glad the doctor was nice, did she offer anything useful?





I put it down on paper and then the ghost does not ache so much.


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Old 08-05-2019, 06:35 PM   #487
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The dr rang me with my test results just. And I'm booked back in to have more tests next week. There are a couple of physical treatment options if I want them.



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Old 08-05-2019, 06:38 PM   #488
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How are you feeling about that?





I put it down on paper and then the ghost does not ache so much.


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Old 08-05-2019, 06:39 PM   #489
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I'll have the tests. The gp is aware I won't get treatment right now.



Given enough tea I could rule the world.


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Old 08-05-2019, 07:11 PM   #490
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So sorry that your CC was so judgemental. Glad the dr was helpful though.
How are you feeling?

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Old 09-05-2019, 12:56 AM   #491
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I don't know what to do. I don't kow what I want.



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Old 09-05-2019, 04:39 AM   #492
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I think being unsure is okay. Do you know what you DON'T want? Sometimes that's as good a place to start as any.



You can't always keep it separate.
This is happening, this is part of you.


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Old 09-05-2019, 05:03 AM   #493
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Don't want to die. Just not live. Don't want another blood transfusion but my head is saying that I've failed unless j gt one. And an iron infusion would mean I could potentially keep doing it longer. I really don't want to be forced to do anything or to collapse at work.



Given enough tea I could rule the world.


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Old 09-05-2019, 10:46 AM   #494
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If you don't want to be forced to do anything or collapse at work then maybe it's best that you choose to have treatment while you can, as much as that might not seem like an actual choice. Please try not to listen to the part of your mind that is encouraging you to do more damage or calling you a failure if you don't, that isn't a kind part and it isn't right. I know it's really hard though but please keep fighting.





I put it down on paper and then the ghost does not ache so much.


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Old 09-05-2019, 01:18 PM   #495
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Im at work but I have called the gp and she is going to arrange for me to get treatment and call me back shortly.



Given enough tea I could rule the world.


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Old 09-05-2019, 01:30 PM   #496
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I'm going to hospital for treatment now.



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Old 09-05-2019, 02:57 PM   #497
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Hope it's going ok, well done for talking to your GP.

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Old 09-05-2019, 04:22 PM   #498
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Huge well done. You deserve to feel better.





I put it down on paper and then the ghost does not ache so much.


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Old 09-05-2019, 06:02 PM   #499
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I'm really proud of you. I hope it is not awful at hospital.

I know it's hard, and as one step closer said, there are choices you can make here to still be in control of the situation, even if they're not ones you like, and it doesn't feel like much of a choice. Sometimes inaction is a passive choice as well, so I'm glad you chose to do something. Getting medical treatment will show that you do have the ability to make decisions to care for yourself, and show willingness to work with treatment providers. That should make them less likely to force you into any type of treatment or help later on.

Thinking of you.



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This is happening, this is part of you.


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Old 09-05-2019, 06:26 PM   #500
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Also just want to say well done for getting treatment. Hope you're getting on ok.

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