Contains Abuse - HPV and letting someone know

Terray · 28-03-2013, 04:39 AM

So I go to the doctor and get a pap/ get tested. They send me a letter that I have nothing. My ex just got tested and hadn't had sex with anyone else since testing, so we're like whatever we'll have sex without a condom even though we're not together. This is an ex that told me rape should count in my number and got pissed off because I hadn't included it in my number/ told me I was a liar etc. He also said sex without a condom should add two people to your number not just one. So I'm a little hesitant to be open with him before I have to be. I just got a call from my doc that I had some abnormal cells and a strand of hpv. They're supposed to call me within a week to schedule another appointment. Should I tell him? Or should I wait to see what the doctor says when I see her again? From google it looks like there's a decent chance the strand could be nbd. Man, why did they send me a "you're great! Nothing to worry about!" letter and then call and tell me something else

beautiful_seclusion · 28-03-2013, 09:19 AM

From my understanding, abnormal cells can occasionally come up without it being HPV. Personally, I'd go talk to the dr first to make sure it really is HPV. Also HPV spread is not stopped by a condom from what I know, so it wouldn't have mattered as far as his exposure. That's why they are pushing the vaccination for young women so much. Anyway, if it actually is confirmed as HPV, you need to tell him so he doesn't spread it to other partners, but with the way you describe him, I'd think you'd want to be sure before telling him. Its really your call though, as I don't know if the drs are saying you for sure have it or not. He may have even given it to you, as its mostly symptom free and only carries the cancer risk for women. But hopefully the abnormal cells are not HPV, as it sounds like they haven't confirmed it yet either way.

beautiful_seclusion · 28-03-2013, 09:21 AM

Oh I just reread your post and realized you said you do have a strand. You really should tell him, mostly because he could give it to another partner. Hoping it turns out ok for you

Terray · 28-03-2013, 11:49 AM

At least I think that's what they said. They might have said it could be HPV and that's why I needed to go back in to see a gyn. I was honestly really taken aback since they'd just sent me a "you're fine!" letter a week previously and didn't think to ask any questions. :/

Terray · 28-03-2013, 09:39 PM

I just called and talked to a nurse to ask questions since I didn't really do it last time since I was so surprised. She basically said that the majority of people carry a strand of HPV and because of that, and the fact that it's likely not deadly, it's not pushed for people to let people know.

Well maybe it should be and I wouldn't be in this situation

beautiful_seclusion · 30-03-2013, 03:00 AM

Oh I see. Yeah I'd talk to your doctor and see what they think you should do. I do know I had an abnormal Pap smear once but it wasn't HPV, they just had to do further testing. So yeah, it sounds like its kind of a grey area of what you should do, and probably best to decide that with your doctor when you go in for more testing. That sucks they gave you wrong info at first though :/

Day Tripper · 31-03-2013, 08:13 AM

Not every strand causes cancer/warts/any sort of symptoms. I would see what sort of strand it is before telling him anything. He sounds... not too understanding and I don't think you need the added stress of his potential BS with finding out what's going on with abnormal cells/HPV in your body right now.