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Old 04-12-2013, 06:07 PM   #1
Melissa J
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appropriate age gap between a relationship?

as the title says,

what do we all think is an 'acceptable' age gap between you and a partner?

i won't say why i've posted this i just want some honest opinions please. it could be quite interesting :)

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Old 04-12-2013, 06:12 PM   #2
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There's no simple answer to this question really.

I think it depends on the maturity of each person, the legal age of consent in your country. Stuff like that.

Once you get older, big age gaps don't seem to be much of an issue.
My nan was 13 years younger than my grandad and no one saw anything wrong with that at all.
Although the same age gap with say, a 14 year old and a 27 year old would probably be considered inappropriate.

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Old 04-12-2013, 06:26 PM   #3
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Depends on age for sure. I'm 23, and I've never dated more that 6-7 years older.

But there is the code that's been going around for ages. Half your age plus 7.

So if you were 30
(30/2)+7= 22 would be the youngest to date.

Sometimes, you have to try more than once.

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Old 04-12-2013, 10:56 PM   #4
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Hard and fast rules really don't work in this context. For me, it's all about being close enough in age and maturity that you have shared similar life experiences.

Under the 1/2 your age+7 rule, I could be dating a 20 year old, but most 20 year olds have no experience of being in a long term relationship, cohabiting with a partner, paying all your own bills etc. Conversely going the other way, I could be dating a nearly 40 year old, who probably has kids, a mortgage, a previous marriage. So for me, the rule doesn't work.

That doesn't mean there are no 40 year olds I would date, but it means it's unlikely that we have enough in common to base a relationship on. I have a kind of flirty/datey/friendship thing with someone who is 33, it's weird enough when we talk about the music we listened to as teenagers for example. And that's merely a cultural blip, not anything important.

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Old 05-12-2013, 10:00 AM   #5
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It all boils down to whether the relationship works for you as an individual, I don't think a general rule can be applied. Age doesn't really matter if you both want similar kinds of things etc. There is 8 years between my parents, 5 years between myself and my girlfriend. :)

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Old 05-12-2013, 11:15 AM   #6
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I have an on/off messy thing with someone who is twice my age. His son is 2 months younger than me, sometimes it's weird, most of the time we just get on with it.

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Old 05-12-2013, 09:07 PM   #7
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as a male, as long as shes at least 18 and has a mature mind it's all good. Im 24

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Old 08-12-2013, 03:45 AM   #8
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I think it really depends on the individual people, maturity levels, etc.

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Old 13-12-2013, 03:35 PM   #9
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I was in a 8 year relationship with someone 22 years older than me. The age did bother me to start with but we got along and that was all that mattered. I'm now sort of seeing a guy who is 13 years older...... guess I just like the older man ;)

Last edited by Strawberry Xs : 13-12-2013 at 03:36 PM. Reason: missed an age out

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Old 16-12-2013, 02:16 AM   #10
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I've always found the your age /2 + 7 as a good rule of thumb. I used to think it was complete BS but now I'm not so sure.

In the end it's all about maturity. Even at 25 I'd be hesitant to date someone under 21. My outlook on life is just much different now that I've gotten a taste of "true adulthood."

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Old 23-12-2013, 10:30 PM   #11
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Case specific most of the time as most have said. Bigger age gaps will likely have less in common due to differences in life experience and stuff.

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Old 24-12-2013, 01:13 AM   #12
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My girlfriend is just over 2 years younger than me.
I'm july '93, so I'm 21 next year.
She's August '95, so 19 next year

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Old 28-12-2013, 10:55 AM   #13
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I think it's kind of specific to each person really.

I'm 24, so I don't think I'd want to date anyone younger than me.

My boyfriend is 31, and I am comfortable with that gap. He's got a really stable life and it helps me to be more stable too.

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Old 28-12-2013, 12:06 PM   #14
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As the others have said it depends on the individuals involved. My partner is 18 years older than me but I find most people I've dated who are around my age have been too immature.

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Old 28-12-2013, 11:49 PM   #15
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I don't think there is one really, assuming you're both over 18.

If there's a big age gap you'll probably have more differences of reference points/expectations/life experience to navigate. And with a really big age gap you'll probably have to deal with a degree of social disapproval.

But in the end it depends on the individuals involved.

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