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Old 07-07-2011, 02:20 PM   #1
XxXflowerfairyXxX
 
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I'm going to have to quit my job.

Everyone hates me. I slept with a manager whilst he had a girlfriend. Who I also worked with. He lied to me. Told me they were going to break up, repetitively. Told me they weren't serious. Six months later (just over a week ago), his girlfriend found out. She didn't seem too angry, more upset and let down. She didn't seem to blame me. But he was furious. He threatened to ruin my life, because I confessed the truth when she asked.

I've been away on holiday for a week and obviously the rumour mill has been running.

There was an anonymous note on my locker today that read words to the effect of: Daisy, you filthy, skanky slut. I hate you. Let me know when you get AIDS.
I didn't see it personally but one of my best friends found it and called me. She's already reported it to management.

I don't know what I'm supposed to do. I can't give up my job. I'd have a bloody hard time explaining to my parents why I'd given up work. I've only got a few months before I start uni anyway. But if people really hate me that much, I'm going to have a miserable time. People KNOW what he's like. And I really didn't believe they'd think what I did was malicious.

I just feel like an awful person and there's no way out. I've made the appropriate apologies, tried to show I never meant to hurt anyone but it just isn't good enough.






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Old 07-07-2011, 02:27 PM   #2
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Workplace relationships are tricky, and when you involve management it gets more complicated. Is it possible for you to go to work, get on with things and leave at the end of the day, or is it more a group setting?

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Old 07-07-2011, 02:35 PM   #3
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It's a swimming complex. I's massively group and cliquey and we have to all work together. I was meant to be doing reception cover as well as life guarding but I don't know if they'll want me out there now seeing as his gf was a receptionist.






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Old 07-07-2011, 02:41 PM   #4
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Could you speak with his girlfriend kind of try and clear the air - explain what you've said in the post and see if that helps?




When we lose twenty pounds... we may be losing the twenty best pounds we have! We may be losing the pounds that contain our genius, our humanity, our love and honesty. ~Woody Allen
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Old 07-07-2011, 02:47 PM   #5
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We spoke immediately after she found out. She then said she'd call me again. She never did. I texted her telling her if she needed to talk about anything or just needed something, she could text me or call me anytime. When he found out I'd called her, he flipped out. I know if I tried to contact her again, he'd threaten me and possibly even do something. From what I can gather, they're still together. He'll have close tabs on her mobile, there's no way I'd get away with talking to her. He's a psycho. I wouldn't be surprised if it was him who left the note.






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Old 07-07-2011, 10:34 PM   #6
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I know this sounds really cliché, but is it worth losing your job over, or could you tough it out, because these things do eventually get easier. I'm not belittling the situation at all (trust me, i've been there!) - i know it's incredibly hurtful and unpleasant to be the focus of so much bad attention and feeling, but (and admittedly it might take a while), things will ease and return to some sort of normality.
Is there any way of transferring to another department, or is it just one small centre?
Is it a job you love, or could you see yourself looking for another one if it would maybe be a good time to move on?



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Old 08-07-2011, 04:52 AM   #7
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So you willingly and knowingly slept with a guy who had a girlfriend before he broke up with her under the pretense that he was going to break up with her?

I'll agree that he has no right to be angry because he was just as much in the wrong as you are. But the girlfriend sure as hell does.



Everyone has the right to freedom of opinion and expression; this right includes freedom to hold opinions without interference and to seek, receive and impart information and ideas through any media and regardless of frontiers.”
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Old 08-07-2011, 11:35 AM   #8
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I'm not saying what I did was right.






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Old 12-07-2011, 04:23 PM   #9
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Facebook me later, can meet up later in the week if you need a chat? xxx

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Old 12-07-2011, 06:20 PM   #10
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From your OP I've got the impression that it's kind of a summer job before you go back to Uni in the autumn, right? In that case, can you make a checklist and tick off your shifts and stuff? It'll go before you know it. Just try and stick your head down and do the work, then get out of there. Fill up your non-working hours with fun things; like meeting up with friends. Make a reward system - every day you manage you earn yourself a pamper sesh, or an hour doing whatever you want, or your favourite meal, or something. Make your after work times something to look forward to and focus on while you're at work.





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