I haven't been well enough to work for 5 years due to mental health difficulties. However I have started doing some voluntary work for MIND and I am really enjoying it; it gives me something to get up for.
I have been invited to a volunteers Christmas party in a few weeks. It's at the local office although I'm still very anxious. I replied to the email and said it would be lovely to come however there is lots going through my mind.
I am recovering from anorexia and I'm sure there will be lots of party food. I find it very hard to eat in front of people and wouldn't go anywhere near party food.
I know I won't be able to eat there and worried about people noticing. I'm also quite anxious due to the party situation. Something happened to me when I was at University (this was around Christmas time) and I have a lot of flashbacks around this time of year and can dissociate when I get triggered and I worry the music and the people may trigger things.
My supervisor knows about my battle with anorexia and depression and knows something happened at Uni although not the details. I really don't know what to do. Any advice would be great. I know it would be easier not to go but on the other hand, I need to try and challenge myself.
It sounds like going to the Christmas party is something that you'd like to do and would be positive for you, so I would encourage you to give it a go.
I think, realistically, no one is really likely to notice or care what you are or aren't eating. They'll be too busy enjoying the party. If you really don't feel able to eat anything, just have an excuse ready in case you need it; saying you aren't hungry or don't enjoy party food is totally acceptable!
With the flashbacks and dissociation, do you have grounding techniques or anything that help you? Is there anything that you can do in a public situation that wouldn't draw attention to yourself (e.g. counting things, having a comforting item to hold, etc)?
If you go and find that you're struggling, you can always leave early. There's nothing to stop you leaving whenever you need to, so I think it's worth going along and seeing how you find it.
Good luck :)
"I know you're sad, so I won't tell you to have a good day. Instead, I advise you to simply have a day.
Stay alive, feed yourself well, wear comfortable clothes, and don't give up on yourself just yet.
It'll get better. Until then, have a day."
I think you should go for a short while. I know myself I make up all sorts of excuses not to do things then after I feel very regretful. You might feel very disheartened after if you don't go. They volunteer so they must be decent people and about the food, some people don't eat that type of stuff and just say Oh I had my dinner thanks, I'm stuffed or something.
It became like a sort of prison. Encased in a silver shell, words so full of bleeding need spilled like drops on dry leaves. And all the while laughter prevailed a long way from here. Nowhere land, nowhere time, nowhere space.
I text my supervisor and she said she feels it would do me good to come as there will be nice people there. She said there will only be about 10 people there which is good and she will be there. It's not a sit down meal, just picky bits so I can say I ate before I came. My supervisor said well done for being brave. The party/get together is on Wednesday; I will try my very best. I'll let you know how it goes.
I find this time of year very hard as something happened to me at Uni around this time; after a Christmas party at the union so it brings up a lot of memories but I've been assured they are all nice people; my mum will be picking me up as well and it's only 6-9.
I stayed an hour and a half - there was LOTS of food and I found that hard as couldn't eat anything and we were all sitting on sofas and I think it was obvious I was the only one not eating but I guess I can't worry about it. I tried to join in the conversations the best I could. Someone walked me to my car out the back which made me feel safer.
Thank you all for the support - I faced my fears and did it :)
Well done, I think that's really great and I'm so glad it went well for you :)
"I know you're sad, so I won't tell you to have a good day. Instead, I advise you to simply have a day.
Stay alive, feed yourself well, wear comfortable clothes, and don't give up on yourself just yet.
It'll get better. Until then, have a day."
It became like a sort of prison. Encased in a silver shell, words so full of bleeding need spilled like drops on dry leaves. And all the while laughter prevailed a long way from here. Nowhere land, nowhere time, nowhere space.
