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15-01-2019, 08:34 AM
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#181
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Join Date: Oct 2007
Location: UK
I am currently:
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Beginning to think I should just end it all properly and fully.
Sleeping helped a bit. I'm so so fatigued. On my way to work now. I know I should have showered but so much energy.
Meeting cpn today. Let's see how rubbish that is.
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Given enough tea I could rule the world.
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15-01-2019, 10:04 AM
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#182
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Never knowing...a helping hand or hell to pay?
Join Date: Dec 2005
I am currently:
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Hope it goes as well as possible with your CPN. *hugs gently if wanted*
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'Never forget what you are. The rest of the world will not. Wear it like armor, and it can never be used to hurt you.'
['There is only one thing we say to death. Not today'.']
'We are each our own devil, and we make this world our hell. Oscar Wilde
Its hard to dance with the devil on your back. Sydney Carter
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15-01-2019, 03:29 PM
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#183
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Join Date: Jan 2008
Location: U.K.
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I hope your CPN is helpful x
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15-01-2019, 04:18 PM
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#184
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The Shadow of the Day
Join Date: Oct 2004
Location: Scotland
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I really hope your CPN hears you and gives you whatever support you need.
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I put it down on paper and then the ghost does not ache so much.
Don't try to calm the storm, calm yourself, the storm will pass.
You didn't come this far just to come this far.
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15-01-2019, 06:56 PM
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#185
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Join Date: Oct 2007
Location: UK
I am currently:
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Cpn wasnt that helpful. Said the psychology and dbt people would contact me for an assessment. Said they may expedite things so I'm not on a waiting list. Doesn't give me any support now though.
Need to shower and eat and play with the cat and tidy my front room and I'm nearly in tears on the bus at how much I have to do.
Badly want to cut again. The receptionist at a and e knows who I am.
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Given enough tea I could rule the world.
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15-01-2019, 07:03 PM
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#186
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Join Date: Sep 2017
Location: London-ish
I am currently:
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Maybe things being expedited can give you a little bit of hope though.
Is there anything you think you can do to avoid cutting?
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15-01-2019, 07:07 PM
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#187
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Join Date: Oct 2007
Location: UK
I am currently:
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Doesn't help me now though. Haven't even had the assessment which they could say no in.
I don't know. I'm tired and need to clean the house and shower.
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Given enough tea I could rule the world.
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15-01-2019, 07:07 PM
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#188
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Join Date: Oct 2007
Location: UK
I am currently:
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There is no hope for me. Is there? None.
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Given enough tea I could rule the world.
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15-01-2019, 07:22 PM
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#189
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Join Date: Sep 2017
Location: London-ish
I am currently:
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There is always hope. It can be hard to see it yourself sometimes though, but I promise it is there.
What will help you right now then?
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15-01-2019, 08:14 PM
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#190
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Join Date: Oct 2007
Location: UK
I am currently:
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I've washes myself and my hair and fed the cat.
What'd help is a few days off work with crisis working on coping strategies and people to call when I'm stressed and can't cope.
Right now I'm knackered but wanna cut still. Like so tired I can't see straight.
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Given enough tea I could rule the world.
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15-01-2019, 08:21 PM
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#191
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Join Date: Sep 2017
Location: London-ish
I am currently:
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Are there other helplines or something you could call? I know they might not be able to help as such but they would listen. I also don't have any particular ones to suggest, sorry.
Well done for getting some stuff done while being so tired. Is it time for some rest? Or it's never too early for bed when you're super tired.
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15-01-2019, 08:27 PM
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#192
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Camden
Join Date: Jun 2007
Location: USA
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This might be a really dumb question to ask, and I promise I'm asking because I legitimately don't remember, not because I'm trying to have a go at you or insult you. I know you are trying. I'm wondering if when you were in the therapeutic community you learned any type of coping skills that you could look back on or use? I know you didn't get a lot out of it and I can't really remember specifics of what they did there.
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Please do not give me virtual hugs unless you are only using the hug function on threads. Thanks.
You can't always keep it separate.
This is happening, this is part of you.
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15-01-2019, 11:44 PM
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#193
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Join Date: Oct 2007
Location: UK
I am currently:
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At the cassel they would say yo talk to someone and tell them my thoughts and feelings.
I've slept for 2 hours. Woke up. Want to self harm badly. More than I want sleep. More than anything. I know I need to sleep again. And go to work tomorrow. It's hard to care.
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Given enough tea I could rule the world.
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16-01-2019, 03:22 AM
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#194
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Petulant
Join Date: Jun 2007
I am currently:
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Why do you want to self harm? What will the result be?
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*Proud Plumeria Sister*
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16-01-2019, 04:25 AM
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#195
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We can try. We can always try.
Join Date: Sep 2007
Location: Your mum's bedroom
I am currently:
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I hope you managed to stay safe and go back to sleep. <3
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the sun
the moon
the truth
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16-01-2019, 08:26 AM
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#196
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Join Date: Oct 2007
Location: UK
I am currently:
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The result will be damage and an escape from my head. The voices are back intemittently and I'm finding it hard to deal with. The damage appeases them. The damage means hopefully someone in my real life (if that makes sense) who is in a position to help me will.
I didn't self harm but didn't sleep well thpugh I did sleep.
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Given enough tea I could rule the world.
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16-01-2019, 10:13 PM
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#197
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Join Date: Oct 2007
Location: UK
I am currently:
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I can't keep doing this.
Am in a and e again.
It's busy again.
Hours and hours wait again.
It's rubbish. I'm rubbish.
Feel really stuck and low and out of ideas guys.
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Given enough tea I could rule the world.
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18-01-2019, 02:24 PM
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#198
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Join Date: Jan 2008
Location: U.K.
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Did you get sorted at A&E? Things will get better x
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19-01-2019, 09:12 PM
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#199
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Join Date: Oct 2007
Location: UK
I am currently:
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I did get sorted. And had a few hours sleep before work which was good. The triage psych liason was horrible so I declined their input.
Struggling with the cmht. Meant to have had 2 phone calls to make 2 separate appointments and had neither. How am I meant to believe these people have my best interests at heart?
I'm so fatigued.
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Given enough tea I could rule the world.
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23-01-2019, 03:05 PM
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#200
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The Shadow of the Day
Join Date: Oct 2004
Location: Scotland
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Have you heard from anyone yet? I'm sorry people are being so useless. How are you doing?
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I put it down on paper and then the ghost does not ache so much.
Don't try to calm the storm, calm yourself, the storm will pass.
You didn't come this far just to come this far.
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