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How I beat solvent abuse: my story & advice for others
This is my story as to how I got involved with solvent abuse and how I got through it & turned things around. Hope it's an inspiration to others:
24th November 1985. It was a Sunday. It was also a date that would have a major impact on my life for several months & is a date I still remember nearly 30 years later. Here's why -
I was 15, living at home with my parents & older brother. It was a great place to live & I had lots of friends. Near to where we lived there were lots of small industrial units. It was the kind of place where they manufactured anything to do with chemicals, ranging from shampoo, perfume, hand cream to paint stripper, sulphuric acid & hydrogen peroxide to name just a few.
A few weeks prior to this date, we'd been hanging around when we found a case of x. We'd heard it was good stuff to sniff & get high so we took it away with us & hid it. Over the next couple of weeks a small group of us, maybe 5 or 6, started to experiment with sniffing it. It did indeed give you a high & made you feel 'weird' & a sensation you couldn't quite explain. I only ever sprayed it onto the sleeve & breathed it in through the nose. Others sprayed it into the cap & breathed it in via the mouth.
On the morning of Nov 24th we met up & went to get some more x which was readily available in boxes outside. We spent much of the day on some nearby wasteground sniffing & getting high. As evening fell I started a new technique of spraying it onto the sleeve & breathing it in through the mouth. This gave me a totally new sensation & made me lose some control over what I was doing - I fell over a few times. This carried on for a while.
Then, what followed was truly awful. I began to experience things which could best be described as - weird, strange, unknown, frightening, nightmare ish, scary, hallucinations. The whole episode lasted probably 10 mins or so & left me shaken, scared & worried. None of my friends realised what had happened.
Soon after we went home. That night I didn't sleep at all, frightened by what had happened. After a few days I'd more or less forgotten about what had happened, until the following Sunday when I foolishly met up with my friends & started sniffing again. I ended up having the same nightmare experience, but this time more intense & it completely shook me up. I then thought that enough was enough & decided to stop altogether.
In the meantime, one of our friends had found some cans of y & had wandered off. We found him later face down, barely conscious & covered in it. We somehow managed to sneak him home, get him cleaned up & to bed. Again that night I didn't sleep at all, the whole episode had a much more frightening effect on me. From then on I didn't leave the house alone (except to go to school) - I only ventured out with other people as I kept having flashbacks so I felt safer with someone else with me. Even being alone in the house was difficult. This went on for most of December, through January & half way through February - I was more or less a recluse.
So, how did I manage to turn things around? I eventually realised that a break from the routine helped - to be doing something new or different took my mind off things. At school I became a helper in the library which kept me indoors at lunchtime. I changed my bedroom around and sorted & tidied my things. I had a love of computer games so I sorted all my Spectrum software into categories & alphabetical order (to occupy my time). I also developed a love of pop music so started to go twice a week to the library with my brother to get lp's out to listen to. All this helped me to focus my mind on something positive & get my confidence back.
The turning point was February half term when I had to go for a couple of job interviews on my own & I suddenly thought "I'm outside on my own - its not too bad" & basically "what are you doing wasting your life away, pull yourself together!" Later that week I ventured out on my own at night for the first time in 11 weeks to drop off a computer game at someone's house & it was fine.
I made the decision to start going out again & hang out with friends, but I decided to stay away from the friends who I used to hang around with - too many bad memories. I rang an old friend who I'd not seen for 6 months who said he had new friends who he met up with in an amusement arcade or McDonald's & would I like to go along with him. From then on things kept getting better, I made new friends, I had new places to hang out, my confidence gradually returned & I also had something new to focus on - taking my exams & leaving school. By the summer I'd managed to put the whole awful experience to the back of my mind. I left school & started work as an apprentice carpenter & joiner. This helped me even more to forget about what had happened.
So, nearly 30 years on I still think about what went on (with a slight touch of fondness!) - the memory will never leave me. I'm happily married & have a 4 year old boy. My wife knows some of what happened & she's accepted it.
So, hope I didn't ramble too much, but I felt I needed to share my experiences & hope it inspires others to get themselves out of whatever situation they're in. It's taken me about 8 months to finally write down what happened. If you have any comments or any questions please feel free to contact me & I can try to help. I can provide my private email if anyone prefers.
Footnote - not long after I'd gone into virtual recluse, my friends also had bad experiences so they all decided to stop the sniffing straight away. We all made a vow to not talk about what went on - to this day we still don't mention it much.
Last edited by random.swirls : 04-01-2015 at 04:40 PM.
Reason: See your pms
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