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the people in the ditches
Things aren't as bad as they could be... but I need to stop it... but I don't know how.... or if anyone does really.
"They" aren't as bad.... but, I think they may start up again... I'm not sure really, because I'm never able to notice a pattern in these things.... but I think since some stuff is happening, maybe it means the other things will start again.
cause sounds are doing weird things again... and so are shapes.... but what really confused me where the people in the ditches... they couldn't have really been there, because my brother and Mom would have reacted... so, I'm sure they weren't there... But I really NEED to know they weren't... because if they are, someone has to do something... they can't just lay there... and I need to know that even if they aren't in 'that' ditch, that they aren't in another ditch somewhere else... there are just some things I need to know.
I need to know that I'm not going to get trapped in the other worlds.... that one day I'll find a way to just stay in the correct one.... whichever that is.. that's another thing I'm not really sure of...
I need someone to tell me that all this will be okay.... but I don't think I would believe anyone if they said it... there's only one person who I'd believe when it comes to things like this.. but I'm not sure I would even believe her if she were to tell me it is going to be okay.. because I really don't think anyone can know that for sure....
I would like everything to just stop.. I would like to be 'okay'.. or somewhere close to 'okay'... but I'm not sure that'll ever happen, so I try not to think about it too much.... I guess what I really want, is something I can't articulate.. maybe because I'm not sure what it looks like, or how it acts.. but I think I might know how it feels.. I'm just not sure if I'm imagining it right, or if it even exists.
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