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Old 19-04-2020, 01:42 PM   #401
tamobhuuta
 
Join Date: Jan 2008
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I promise you are real :)



Ying tong iddle ai po!

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Old 19-04-2020, 02:44 PM   #402
Cacoethes
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Thank you
The staff said I'm real
I just feel so strange
Like I could walk through walls but I can't



I'm fine! Totally fine. I don't know why it's coming out all loud and squeaky, 'cause really, I'm fine!


Who else is fine?!?!?


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Old 20-04-2020, 10:00 AM   #403
one_step_closer
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PRN often does that. How are you today?





I put it down on paper and then the ghost does not ache so much.

Don't try to calm the storm, calm yourself, the storm will pass.

You didn't come this far just to come this far.


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Old 20-04-2020, 12:27 PM   #404
Cacoethes
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Not good
Had another incident this morning so I'm not allowed to change out of the seclusion outfit.
I'm so fed up and frustrated
Everything is annoying me
Just want to be left alone but they won't
Voices are bad from the moment I wake up to the moment I eventually fall asleep
I just can't do it anymore



I'm fine! Totally fine. I don't know why it's coming out all loud and squeaky, 'cause really, I'm fine!


Who else is fine?!?!?


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Old 20-04-2020, 01:37 PM   #405
one_step_closer
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Do the staff know that the voices are really bad just now? What are the voices saying? Can you challenge them?





I put it down on paper and then the ghost does not ache so much.

Don't try to calm the storm, calm yourself, the storm will pass.

You didn't come this far just to come this far.


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Old 20-04-2020, 01:49 PM   #406
Cacoethes
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I have told them
They just keep pushing medication
Apparently I'll see a doctor today when they come back from break but I think that's just regarding whether I can change into normal clothes
The voices just keep saying I need to die
And I'm trying to but the staff keep stopping me
I've been in hospital for 2 months today and things are just getting worse



I'm fine! Totally fine. I don't know why it's coming out all loud and squeaky, 'cause really, I'm fine!


Who else is fine?!?!?


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Old 20-04-2020, 02:50 PM   #407
one_step_closer
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I think hospital can be such a stressful environment and can make you frustrated and sometimes more unwell. It sounds like you're still fighting against the staff (not actual fighting) and I wonder how things might improve if you took their side rather than the side of the voices. I'm not saying it would be easy but it seems like a way forward rather than being stuck as you are. I'm sure that with time the voices would be around less and less and you'd have back the power.





I put it down on paper and then the ghost does not ache so much.

Don't try to calm the storm, calm yourself, the storm will pass.

You didn't come this far just to come this far.


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Old 20-04-2020, 03:53 PM   #408
Cacoethes
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I think that's true.

I can't take the staff's side. I don't believe in their side. I think they are being stupid and narrow minded and they are endangering the world.

Just had to take prn or they would have injected me. It's so unfair.



I'm fine! Totally fine. I don't know why it's coming out all loud and squeaky, 'cause really, I'm fine!


Who else is fine?!?!?


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Old 20-04-2020, 04:34 PM   #409
one_step_closer
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How about if you just didn't side with the voices so much? What would the Beckie before coming into hospital think about all this? The Beckie who is settled at home and going swimming and to SW etc?





I put it down on paper and then the ghost does not ache so much.

Don't try to calm the storm, calm yourself, the storm will pass.

You didn't come this far just to come this far.


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Old 20-04-2020, 04:48 PM   #410
Cacoethes
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I have to
They've been with me for 17 years.
I trust them. I don't trust the staff or the doctors.

I don't know
I wish I could go back to my life.



I'm fine! Totally fine. I don't know why it's coming out all loud and squeaky, 'cause really, I'm fine!


Who else is fine?!?!?


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Old 20-04-2020, 05:02 PM   #411
Zurg
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Hey Beckie.

Just wanted to say that some years ago i did a short course of therapy with a specialist in voices. He told me something that made a lot of sense and made me view my voices in a different way. He Said that often, the voices speak in symbols, like the dreams we have at night. So when the voices are telling you to die, they mean death in a symbolik way. They are trying to tell you that the way you are Living now is not good or sustainable for you, so you need to kill that way of life and start over in a new way.

He told me that the voices are mainly there to help us, guide us and not to cause damage to us. If we learn to interpret what they are trying to communicate, we can actually gain a lot of wisdom and support from them.

Just wanted to tell you. Hang in there, it gets better!!!

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Old 20-04-2020, 06:51 PM   #412
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Zurg, this makes so much sense to me, too. I'm saving this - it's really helpful. Thanks!

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Old 20-04-2020, 06:53 PM   #413
Shirayuki
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Irisflower View Post
Zurg, this makes so much sense to me, too. I'm saving this - it's really helpful. Thanks!
Me too

Thank you!




We'll make it together, one small step at a time


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Old 20-04-2020, 09:15 PM   #414
Cacoethes
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Thank you zurg, that's a really interesting way of looking at them. I'll think about that

Staff have just checked and I'm not on the list for ward round for this week either :/



I'm fine! Totally fine. I don't know why it's coming out all loud and squeaky, 'cause really, I'm fine!


Who else is fine?!?!?


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Old 20-04-2020, 09:20 PM   #415
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What the hell? Can you push to see an advocate or something? Even if you're not ready for discharge you should still be having ward round and getting seen.



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You can't always keep it separate.
This is happening, this is part of you.


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Old 20-04-2020, 10:13 PM   #416
Cacoethes
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That's a good idea.
Apparently ward round is all messed up because of covid but everyone else was seen last week and some people were seen today so I don't know why they don't want to see me.



I'm fine! Totally fine. I don't know why it's coming out all loud and squeaky, 'cause really, I'm fine!


Who else is fine?!?!?


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Old 21-04-2020, 12:31 AM   #417
Pomegranate
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I’m guessing if they are short on time they will want to review the patients who’s presentation has changed in some way? Since you don’t feel able to take meds and are on a depot etc, maybe they think there isn’t much to review? What would you realistically like to change from having a review?





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Old 21-04-2020, 10:38 AM   #418
Cacoethes
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I want to go home.
I need to make the doctor understand that I don't belong here and I can't do that if I don't see her



I'm fine! Totally fine. I don't know why it's coming out all loud and squeaky, 'cause really, I'm fine!


Who else is fine?!?!?


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Old 21-04-2020, 10:44 AM   #419
tamobhuuta
 
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I doubt they will send you home, you are too unsafe at the moment. Your death would be devastating for your friends and family, it wouldn't save anyone.



Ying tong iddle ai po!

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Old 21-04-2020, 11:09 AM   #420
Cacoethes
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I need to at least try.

I'm pissed off already because I asked if I could change into my normal clothes instead of the seclusion outfit but they said only the doctors can decide that when I see them.
They said yesterday that I'd see them yesterday so I don't believe that I'll see anyone today



I'm fine! Totally fine. I don't know why it's coming out all loud and squeaky, 'cause really, I'm fine!


Who else is fine?!?!?


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