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Old 22-04-2020, 03:46 AM   #1
Stephkrebs12
 
Join Date: Jun 2017
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My best friend is moving.

I have a best friend who is moving And everyone keeps asking if I’m sad. But honestly I’m feeling ok about it. I’d go as far as to say that I don’t really care too much that she’s moving. I even had my cousin who knows my best friend and her family tell me that I’m emotionless and that actually hurt my feelings. I’ve been feeling somewhat like we’ve been growing apart a little bit so could this be possibly why? I’ve also noticed that most things that effect other people tend to give me little to no effect at all. I’m not sure what to think. :/ maybe I’m just a horrible person.

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Old 23-04-2020, 09:05 PM   #2
Reminiscer
 
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Stephkrebs12 View Post
I have a best friend who is moving And everyone keeps asking if I’m sad. But honestly I’m feeling ok about it. I’d go as far as to say that I don’t really care too much that she’s moving. I even had my cousin who knows my best friend and her family tell me that I’m emotionless and that actually hurt my feelings. I’ve been feeling somewhat like we’ve been growing apart a little bit so could this be possibly why? I’ve also noticed that most things that effect other people tend to give me little to no effect at all. I’m not sure what to think. :/ maybe I’m just a horrible person.
I don't think you're a horrible person. There are some factors that could come into play. Either you are growing apart like you mentioned, or the reality of your friend moving hasn't hit you yet. Sometimes there can be a delayed emotional response. Also, is there anything that has happened in the past that may have caused you to lose a bit of respect towards your friend or even question your friendship? If so, that could play a factor as well.

It may be that you find your energy being zapped every time you are with your friend. I don't know, I could be wrong but unless there is some history that involved some fighting or something very negative and toxic about your friend, most likely it is either a delayed reaction or you guys are just moving apart. Doesn't mean you're a horrible person and I'm sorry your cousin called you heartless. That was rude and uncalled for.

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Old 24-04-2020, 01:28 AM   #3
Stephkrebs12
 
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I’ve been thinking that I may have been having a delayed emotional response too. But also I know I’m not like most people I’m very introverted and I see most people have friendships or relationships where they are constantly talking to each other like everyday and I can’t really relate to that because I get worn out from too much socializing or I just plain have nothing really to say so I don’t say anything. And sometimes I can tell my best friend sort of resents that but she doesn’t really say much to me about it. Idk maybe I’m just not a good friend. I’ve even found myself a bit relieved that she’s moving tbh so I don’t have to try as hard. Wow just typing all this makes me feel horrible. Like don’t get me wrong I want the best for her and I’m always there when she needs me. I guess the problem is that her friendship style is to be more involved and put a lot of effort and as for me I’m the type that’s more laid back and not as high strung about certain things for example a couple years ago she didn’t come to my birthday dinner and I was fine with that but if I were to do the same she would definitely not be happy with me. And usually I feel like when I wanna talk about things that I like with her she doesn’t really care too much unless it’s something she likes as well. And most of our conversations are centered more on her. Ugh there’s definitely something wrong with me.

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Old 24-04-2020, 06:06 PM   #4
Reminiscer
 
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Stephkrebs12 View Post
I’ve been thinking that I may have been having a delayed emotional response too. But also I know I’m not like most people I’m very introverted and I see most people have friendships or relationships where they are constantly talking to each other like everyday and I can’t really relate to that because I get worn out from too much socializing or I just plain have nothing really to say so I don’t say anything. And sometimes I can tell my best friend sort of resents that but she doesn’t really say much to me about it. Idk maybe I’m just not a good friend. I’ve even found myself a bit relieved that she’s moving tbh so I don’t have to try as hard. Wow just typing all this makes me feel horrible. Like don’t get me wrong I want the best for her and I’m always there when she needs me. I guess the problem is that her friendship style is to be more involved and put a lot of effort and as for me I’m the type that’s more laid back and not as high strung about certain things for example a couple years ago she didn’t come to my birthday dinner and I was fine with that but if I were to do the same she would definitely not be happy with me. And usually I feel like when I wanna talk about things that I like with her she doesn’t really care too much unless it’s something she likes as well. And most of our conversations are centered more on her. Ugh there’s definitely something wrong with me.
Oh okay. That doesn’t mean you are a horrible person. It just means you guys have different ways of socializing. She may be more extroverted. I am more like you except I still expect someone to show they care. I’m sure you're the same way though in terms of wanting to feel appreciated.

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