I don't know what to do

[lostinthisworld]

Hi,

This is my first post so sorry if it's in the wrong place or about the wrong sort of thing.

I'm really struggling at the moment, I know everyone is but I can't go on like this I need some help and don't know where to turn.

I was under the cmht until July last year, they discharged me because they said they didn't have access to the services I needed support from. My GP was really angry and tried to stop them but I said there was no point as any support they continued to give would be given grudgingly and that wouldn't be supportive.

In February my GP referred me back to them as I was really struggling but at my assessment the psychiatrist said 'we don't appreciate you trying to manipulate services into helping you when we've already told you we can't help you.' Needless to say they didn't take me back on.

About a week before lockdown my GP referred me to a different cmht as an emergency. But then lockdown happened. My GP has been off since then so I don't know what is going on with that referral. It took a long time for me to trust my GP enough to be able to talk to her and I can't talk to any of the other GP's at the surgery without feeling like I'm wasting their time and just a complete waste of space.

I phoned the samaritans last night but I didn't find them very helpful. They were nice and they listened but I feel I need more than just listening. I don't know what help I need but I know that I can't cope on my own.

I have thought about phoning 111 but I'm scared they will be annoyed with me as they are far too busy with more important things at the moment. I've never phoned 111 for mental health reasons before and I don't know what to expect, does anyone have experience of this?

I feel so pathetic because everyone is struggling at the moment but I feel like I'm drowning and I really don't know what to do.

[one_step_closer]

I'm sorry you're struggling so much, I think most of us can relate. There isn't actually a lot of support available right now which is not good. I know what you mean about needing someone to do more than listen. If you phone 111 you can ask to speak to a psychiatric nurse who might have more insightful advice for you. They might be able to give you the number for the crisis team of your new CMHT if they have your referral. It's also ok to talk to a GP, I'm sure they would rather you spoke to them than suffered in silence. Keep posting here too if it helps. I hope you can find a way to ease your suffering.