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Old 20-07-2019, 05:22 PM   #1
Anonymous29
 
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I need help like really bad

Dear whoever is reading this,

I am a young person in need of some advice. My father is extremely abusive and threatened to kill me if I told anyone. He raped me a few years back and I told my mother and she yelled at me because she thought I hooked up with a guy. He then stabbed me, and I now suffer from kidney disease because of the area where I was wounded. He beats me everyday and makes me cover up the bruises with makeup. HELP!

~ Anonymous29

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Old 20-07-2019, 10:48 PM   #2
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Should I tell someone?

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Old 21-07-2019, 11:10 AM   #3
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I'm sorry you're going through this. Is there someone you would trust to tell?





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Old 22-07-2019, 12:08 PM   #4
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I'm sorry, that's awful. I think you should definitely tell someone, maybe a teacher you trust? You don't deserve to be treated like that.

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Old 22-07-2019, 11:10 PM   #5
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You definitely need to tell somebody. Is there anybody you trust who feels like a safe person? Are the police in your area safe people? You do not deserve this so do what you can to be safe and get out of that situation.



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Old 22-07-2019, 11:55 PM   #6
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I am so sorry to hear about the abuse you are suffering. You do not deserve this. You deserve to be safe and get help. Is there anyone like a trusted school teacher, school counselor, religious figure you could reach out to? Somebody who can help you contact the proper authorities to help get and keep you safe if it's not safe for you to contact the police yourself?

RAINN is a site that also has resources as well as an anonymous online hotline where you can message with a trained person who is trained to deal with all sorts of things related to sexual abuse and can answer questions you may have about what to do or what practical steps to take.

Please reach out to someone as soon as you can - I am so very sorry your mother did not believe you, but there will be people out there who will, and who will be able to help you.

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Old 25-07-2019, 12:40 AM   #7
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There is no one to help me. And he also threatened to kill my mother if I told. I am just a mess right now. No one believes me except my boyfriend but there is nothing he can do.

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Old 25-07-2019, 11:11 AM   #8
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I don't know where you are but if you said all this to a teacher in the UK they would tell social services and the police. Your dad would be taken away before he could hurt you or your mum.



with Christ I hang upon the cross

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Old 25-07-2019, 12:53 PM   #9
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I am not in the UK. And my dad is a sociopath. He would find a way to hurt us.

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Old 25-07-2019, 02:16 PM   #10
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If you tell them they can protect you.



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Old 26-07-2019, 04:17 AM   #11
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Can your boyfriend tell someone about this since he's not in your home with your father, and that way someone can find a way to get you and your mother safely away from him before any repercussions? It sounds like your boyfriend has more options as an "outsider" to the abuse and more opportunity to contact people who can help.

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Old 26-07-2019, 02:36 PM   #12
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That is true. But my father already hates him and if he finds out I told him somehow then I'm dead.

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Old 26-07-2019, 02:58 PM   #13
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To be honest, it sounds like your life is in danger anyway, regardless of whether your father finds out you told your boyfriend.

Unfortunately, nothing is going to change unless there is some outside intervention, and from what you're describing, that intervention needs to happen as soon as possible.

When the intervention happens, your father will inevitably discover you told about the abuse, because he'll wonder why he is, for example, being arrested.

If you have any time alone out of the house - school, public library, church, a friend's parents, your boyfriend's house and his parents - please use that opportunity to contact a safe place and/or the authorities. Tell them what you've written here - your father abuses you and has threatened your life if you tell, your mother doesn't believe you, it's not safe for you to be at home, is there some place you can go and what will they do about your father.

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Old 26-07-2019, 05:30 PM   #14
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Haha, honestly no. My dad makes up reasons to not let me out of the house and school doesn't start for a month.

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Old 26-07-2019, 05:56 PM   #15
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So I guess this brings me back to the option of your boyfriend and/or his family making an anonymous (or not) call to the police and explaining the situation so they know you are always in your father's vicinity and they can pass on that he's violent and has threatened you so they know how to extract you from the situation safely.
If you're able to use the computer or however you're accessing this site, can you email the police department? They usually have general email accounts and these days even have social media accounts. That might be another way t fully explain the situation.

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Old 26-07-2019, 08:59 PM   #16
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Good idea. But I have tried telling my friend's older brother who is a COP and he said I have no evidence...

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Old 26-07-2019, 11:03 PM   #17
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Hi,

This sounds like a really difficult situation, and I think it's really brave you reached out by posting here. It's a bit hard to know what to suggest other than saying that your safety and your family's safest is of utmost importance in situations like this.

Also, if you have physical wounds, those would be considered evidence just as much as what you and other members of your family said. However, reporting things like this would likely require a lot of intervention from police, medical professionals, social workers, etc.. It might also mean leaving your home and/or being separated from the rest of your family, depending on what happens. I don't think it would be right of us to offer advice without you understanding what your options are, and what the impact of those options might be.

This isn't to say that I don't think you should report what is going on, but only that I think you need some more information. Which we can't provide.

I also don't honestly know how much can be done if abuse is reported secondhand. Potentially not a lot. I also don't know that if it's reported secondhand you would be removed from your home or your father would be immediately. That's why again, I think you might need to reach out to some anonymous resources first to find that out, since all of your concerns are absolutely valid.

Have you tried something like RAINN's online chat? I don't know your age in terms of consent and what can be kept private from family, but RAINN could advise you best on what would be specific to your location if you are in the USA. It's online, so you don't have to worry about a phone call or anything like that.

If a phone call felt like an option you could also try this national hotline and website I found, again US based:
http://www.childhelp.org/hotline/

I know for example my local county has an abuse hotline/phone number just for them. Your county might also has similar. Same with a child advocate organization. We have one specific to my county, so those are things that if you have internet access, you might try looking up as well to get some more local resources. We also have local teen/child homeless shelters for folks to stay, but unfortunately if you are under certain ages and you go to those, they often require parental consent to stay overnight. So again, finding out what local resources you have would be really good. I'm NOT saying post your specific location here, only that you might need to do some research on this to find out.


If you aren't in the USA, knowing your location (at least country) and age would help us try to come up with resources to suggest to you that would be more relevant.



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This is happening, this is part of you.


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Old 27-07-2019, 06:12 PM   #18
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Are also rape advocate who can help you with this type of thing. If you go to a local women's shelter , you can find one and they can advise you as to what the best thing is to do. That is, if you're in the u.s. I don't know about other countries. I'm sorry that you are struggling so much with this. I know that is difficult when no one believes you and if you have no proof or if people think that you have no proof. But like I said a rape Advocate or victims advocate I sometimes are called can help you with the process and knowing the right things to say to the police. And RAINN is definitely a viable option to give you other suggestions. I hope that you get the help you desperately deserve and need.



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Old 30-07-2019, 05:16 PM   #19
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Okay guys, so I called the police and I tried to get help, but my mom refuses to kick my dad out of the house.

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Old 30-07-2019, 07:02 PM   #20
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A huge well done. Do you have a friend or relative you can stay with, until it's safe to go home?



with Christ I hang upon the cross

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