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Old 14-03-2013, 10:57 AM   #61
griddlebone
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I once dated someone from here, but he quit the site the day after we got together because he and I both didnt want to have that thing where something would be bothering him but he would make a thread on RYL instead of saying something to me.

From the experience of that relationship plus from a lot of the relationships I have seen here it seems pretty normal for there to be (not always intentionally) competition about who is the worse off in the crazy stakes. Also I had never been around someone with the mental health issues that he had/has because although I had seen it on RYL I hadnt experienced it first hand and that was pretty difficult to get my head around.

I think for me I couldnt date someone who actively self harms or has an eating disorder, or actually anything above panic attacks and even then I find that difficult. It seems to feed my own mentals and I need someone to tell me when Im doing something that isnt ok.

Plus they always seem far far more dramatic and then theres the breaking up battle on here and so on!




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Old 14-03-2013, 11:00 AM   #62
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Originally Posted by Senator Aardvark View Post
I find it kinda hard tbh.
Sometimes i'll read stuff on here and get texts from the boyfriend when he's not feeling great and im just like, I really, really, can't deal with this and I end up shutting off from everyone. I want to help, but I can't.

I do sometimes think there isn't room for two unwell people in a relationship, like i know i can get quite bad, and if he was not feeling good either, then it really wouldn't work. We only see each other at weekends at the moment so haven't really encountered a problem such as this!

So, those are my thoughts, all jokes and inappropriate humour aside.
This is my feeling too, with the not being enough room....and I am also the type of person that if Im feeling bad and the other person is feeling bad too for a reason other than like a death or something then I run away and hide and cant deal with it.

x




There are times to stay put, and what you want will come to you.
But there are times to go out into the world and find such a thing for yourself.
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Old 17-03-2013, 09:45 PM   #63
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Dick face and Irish are in a relationship. They are good, I see them on facebook sometimes.
And Midget and Voldy are getting married and sh*t.
Those are the only other success stories I know.
haha, Irish.. I like it.



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Old 17-03-2013, 10:09 PM   #64
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Originally Posted by griddlebone View Post
From the experience of that relationship plus from a lot of the relationships I have seen here it seems pretty normal for there to be (not always intentionally) competition about who is the worse off in the crazy stakes.
Do you find this to be true of mine and Stuarts relationship? (genuine question, i wont be offended if the answer is yes).





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Old 17-03-2013, 10:27 PM   #65
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I think sometimes it's easy to say "I couldn't do that because of XYZ" but I think you'll only truly know how you'll react to something once you're actually in that situation. Also, even if you're comparing different relationships you've had with mentally unwell people then they'll all be different as the people involved are different. But that's just my opinion.

Personally, I was briefly in a relationship with someone from here, but it wasn't good for either of us and ended pretty quickly. But I think that sometimes good relationships can come from all sorts of places, I met my Partner in a chatroom just over three years ago :)





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Old 17-03-2013, 10:37 PM   #66
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Originally Posted by squirrelspit View Post
Do you find this to be true of mine and Stuarts relationship? (genuine question, i wont be offended if the answer is yes).
No but then thats probably because I never really saw stue talk about his mentals.x




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Old 17-03-2013, 10:40 PM   #67
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fair.

:)





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Old 17-03-2013, 11:02 PM   #68
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I see a lot of nice relationships here. But I also see a lot of very public relationship drama. And oh, what drama it is. I don't think I could date someone "as mental as me", if that makes sense. I have a hard enough time helping myself up, me being with someone mental would very easily and certainly drag me down.

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Old 18-03-2013, 01:07 AM   #69
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haha, Irish.. I like it.
Good good! Happy St Paddy's btw.




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You will find wonder wherever you can, and spread joy whenever you are able.


I felt emotions of gentleness and pleasure, that had long appeared dead, divide within me. - Frankenstein.


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Old 18-03-2013, 11:35 AM   #70
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Originally Posted by Elijahbear View Post
I see a lot of nice relationships here. But I also see a lot of very public relationship drama. And oh, what drama it is. I don't think I could date someone "as mental as me", if that makes sense. I have a hard enough time helping myself up, me being with someone mental would very easily and certainly drag me down.
I've definitely found that dating other people with issues can have its downsides & can bring you down & it can become somewhat competitive; however I've never found understanding & compassion as much from the 'saner' people I've dated.. So.. Hmm. It's a toughie!



"I'm selfish, impatient and a little insecure.
I make mistakes, I am out of control and at times hard to handle.
But if you can't handle me at my worst, then you sure as hell don't deserve me at my best."
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Old 18-03-2013, 12:08 PM   #71
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Both midget and I have made quite epic leaps in our recoveries since being friends and subsequently getting together, and I shall ask her when she wakes up, but I certainly don't find we are competitive. I don't really see how competitiveness could arise to be honest, unless you're actively seeking to become ill-er anyway :-/



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Old 18-03-2013, 12:11 PM   #72
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I have been out with someone from RYL, it was most enjoyable while it lasted (Well, I thought so, not sure about her) but yeah, it ended but we are still really good friends (Even when I make that pretty hard at times) and even meet up from time to time for drinks and to hang out :)





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Old 18-03-2013, 12:54 PM   #73
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I'd agree with Jenna. I don't feel she makes me worse and I hope she doesn't feel I make her worse!
Rather than being competitive over who is the most emo, we encourage each other to be recovery pros.
I guess for some people it could be damaging... I'd say you have the meet the right person at the right time when you're both in relatively good places to avoid it becoming a damaging relationship.




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Old 18-03-2013, 01:11 PM   #74
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I guess for some people it could be damaging... I'd say you have the meet the right person at the right time when you're both in relatively good places to avoid it becoming a damaging relationship.
I think that's the key.



"I'm selfish, impatient and a little insecure.
I make mistakes, I am out of control and at times hard to handle.
But if you can't handle me at my worst, then you sure as hell don't deserve me at my best."
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Old 18-03-2013, 02:40 PM   #75
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For a lot of people, it could be damaging. And it has been. I said what I said because I've seen it happen... your happy-ass relationship is just one of the lucky ones to me.

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Old 18-03-2013, 03:44 PM   #76
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"happy-ass"
^No need to be rude about it.
I figure all relationships have problems. They wouldn't work otherwise. But being in a relationship with someone who made you worse mentally, or with someone you made more mental, is a bad idea but not everyone can see it's a dangerous relationship... which is why having friends is good. I think sometimes it's worth taking a risk to see what can happen. Me and Jenna could have ended SO badly there aren't even words. But we both put effort in and worked hard to make sure it wasn't.
I think if you're willing to work on making a relationship healthy and happy then it doesn't matter if the person you're with is mentally ill too.




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Old 18-03-2013, 03:53 PM   #77
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Bellatrix View Post
Me and Jenna could have ended SO badly there aren't even words.
:p ikr!

Agree with everything she said actually, especially that there is no need for rudeness.

There are so many successful relationships between members of this site. And even ones that end, or end badly, are not necessarily a bad idea- all but one of the relationships in one's life will end, whether you date people you meet on the internet or not.



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Old 18-03-2013, 04:47 PM   #78
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"happy-ass" is rude, now? Can think of many more unpleasant things than that.

I'm just saying.

Not all of them work. It is very true. Emos dating emos often leads to them getting worst. I've seen it happen. I know you like to argue. But I'm not saying you're wrong. I'm just saying NOT ALL of them are happy sunshine. I think it's naive to deny that two people with mental issues could drag each other down in a relationship. I know being broken is hip and all that

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Old 18-03-2013, 04:50 PM   #79
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I interpreted it as sarcastic and unkind, yes.

You are entirely correct though. Not ALL are happy sunshine, but that applies to relationships in general, not just 'emos dating emos'. Actually it would be interesting to see if statistically couples where both partners have mental health problems were more likely to break up than those which are not!



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Old 18-03-2013, 04:53 PM   #80
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I don't like to argue.
I don't know where you got that idea.
:P

What I mean is, not all relationships from here are happy, and equally, not all are woeful.




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