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Old 14-07-2015, 04:23 AM   #1
FlyingPeanuts
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Contains sexual abuse - I need to get this out

It's taken me months to make this thread, but I need to get this out. Last October, I dated a guy for around a month. It was a really bad relationship for many reasons that I don't want to go into here because I ****ed up pretty royally, but he was unaware of it all until we broke up. I will say, however, that I'm a transguy and that at that point, I was going through a rough few months with my family, who are emotionally abusive as they don't accept my gender, so decided that it would be easier to say I was genderfluid. So the guy I was dating viewed me as genderfluid and that also made me uncomfortable.

We'd been... kind of friends before we started dating, I suppose, and because I knew it would get in the way of things, I told him I'd been sexually abused in the past and that most sexual things still make me incredibly uncomfortable - especially when I'm being touched. He, at that moment, told me that he respected that (and even threatened to hurt my abuser) so I thought that everything would be okay.

The next 3 Saturdays, I spent most of my time at his house. Each time, he decided to touch me and I asked him to stop. He did the first time, but as soon as he realised I was willing to touch him (out of guilt), he decided to shove his hands down my boxers again even when I begged him to get off of me.

I ended up drinking pretty heavily to handle it, and the whole "relationship" fell apart at my friend's birthday party where I got drunk and basically told the guy that he could sleep with me. He somehow developed morals at that moment and refused because I was drunk, I got upset and ended up having my friends physically restrain me because I was trying to jump out a window.

I've never mentioned most of this in any real detail to anyone in any way before, but I could do with some support because it's stopping me from doing a lot of things right now.



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Old 14-07-2015, 04:43 AM   #2
Anne with an e
 
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Hey, you messed up a bit. But I'm glad you posted. We all make judgement errors; those are forgivable. But the way your boyfriend treated you was WRONG. You deserve to be respected, no matter what. I'm so sorry you're experiencing this.

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Old 14-07-2015, 01:44 PM   #3
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I'm so sorry, the way he treated you was not right at all, I'm proud of you for posting here and I hope it helped you to write it out. If your experience is still impacting you, are you able to get some professional support to deal with what you're going through?

Take care of yourself. You do not deserve to be treated like this.

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Old 15-07-2015, 12:03 AM   #4
FlyingPeanuts
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I'm trying my best to get the courage to make an appointment with my GP, but my anxiety's so bad that I'm not sure if I can call them, or, if I do manage to call, whether I'd actually be able to attend the appointment. I feel like I've worn out all of my friends as, where I'm in a bad environment at home, I've been messaging them online a lot lately.



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