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Old 17-06-2015, 01:23 PM   #1
Harbour's Avatar
Join Date: May 2013
Location: London
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Contains sexual abuse - I'm really struggling.

I'm really beginning to lose belief that I can keep going and fighting memories day in and out. At the moment Im really struggling with voices which are repeating threats and words the my abuser said to me. The way that he twisted the abuse was making it into a relationship and I struggle with trying to see the abuse as something other than an adulterous relationship. I know that others and sometimes I can have the viewpoint that given I was 7 it couldn't possibly have been like that where I was consenting. He used ways to make it seem like what we were doing was my choice.

I really struggle to even use the word abuse internally although I'll use it when describing what happened to others aside from my counsellor who I really trust, because I know people won't understand the way I view it.

I barely manage the 3.5 days of work I do now and am really starting to struggle to keep things together. I don't know how to move on or even see the abuse differently. I have 6 months left with my counsellor and I want to make the best use of it but I'm scared the More I open up my ability to work and do other things will decrease.

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Old 18-06-2015, 11:03 PM   #2
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Join Date: Jun 2014
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I think it's really important to share how you are feeling with your counsellor, especially the part where you're worried that opening the door on your abuse will effect you being able to function.

No one knows you better than you. If this is likely to happen then your counsellor might need to ease up a bit and focus on other things. Your counsellor needs to know if things are getting worse and if it is s/he should back up for a bit and support you in the way that you need.

Children cannot consent to any sexual activity. Our brain's are not fully developed even until the mid-20s. Children, regardless of how smart, do not have the cognitive understanding to consent.

It's ok if you struggle to use the word abuse. People may not like you not being able to view it that way out of care, because they care about you.

If it is getting too much for you then maybe it's time to forget it for a while and concentrate on other things. What do you like doing?

Always when judging

Who people are,
Remember to footnote
The words "So far."

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