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Old 15-04-2015, 11:47 PM   #1
[SundayGirl]'s Avatar
Join Date: Jan 2011
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Abuser moving closer

I was drugged & raped 4 years ago by somebody I knew. I haven't seen him since but I know he has a family & kids now.
I have never reported this to the police & I don't want to either.
I refuse to speak about it & although I have flashbacks & hard feeling I can't speak about was to horrendus.

Anyway, I have found out by somebody who is friends with his girlfriend that he & his family are moving to my estate.
I'm so upset about this. I feel sick thinking he is moving into my safe area, it's been a comfort knowing he lived the opposite end to me.

What should I do?

I am not a freak..
I was born with my freedom.

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Old 16-04-2015, 10:53 AM   #2
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Join Date: Apr 2012
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I don't have any words of wisdom. This is a horrific situation and its understandable that you feel unsettled. I wonder if you can try and establish more specific safe places that he absolutely wont be able to access, such as somewhere in your home or very close to it. And also try not to worry too much, hopefully you still wont see much of him.

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Old 06-05-2015, 04:12 PM   #3
Join Date: Jun 2013

Keep a log if he does anything at all, and get a restraining order. By anything I mean comments, tormenting looks, posts on social media referencing you or any other behaviour thay with the right description you can argue is threatening. Of course I can't say this with certainty, but my betting is that he'll leave you alone. Ofcourse people like this re offend, but with a family in close vicinity of you I don't think he'd take the risk of hurting you agaiN specifically. People who commit this crimes ate usually clever in the way they commit them, that's why it's a punishless crime, but it's far from a victimless one and I'm sorry you have to have the experience of knowing he is near by. I am potentially facing my last two years of medical school with my perpetrator and the thought fills me with drea, but there is enough consequences of this already, and I refuse to let it ruin my life further. Damage limitation is all you can do now including seeking the appropriate professional support to deal with the complex emotions that having him near by may throw up.

Best wishes
F xx

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Old 06-05-2015, 07:23 PM   #4
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Join Date: Apr 2010
Location: On a cloud

This is horrible for you to have to go through, I'm sorry this is such a difficult situation for you. Do you have anyone you trust at all who knows about what happened? I can understand you not wanting to report it to the police, but having someone who lives near to you and knows can be helpful for you to feel more protected. I was in a similar position, although not as extreme and difficult, but it really helped knowing that there was one person I could speak to when I felt scared or unsafe or was just struggling with memories.

I'm sorry I don't have anymore advice, but i hope you manage to get through this. Take care of yourself.

Have you ever looked fear in the face and said "I just don't care"?

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