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28-07-2008, 09:36 PM
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#1
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pretty-mistake
Join Date: Jul 2008
Location: Home-the bedroom
I am currently:
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hello. new here =]
well erm... hello i'm new here. =]
came across this site on the good old search engine google =]
i relapsed in may after not self harming for a year. =[ i was doing so well and i threw it all away!
before then id been self harming for under a year and not very regular only during times of arguments with my mum and when i was very upset or angry
after relapsing i was a lot worse self harming on a regular basis and i realised i needed help and spoke to my freinds about it.
i find it really hard not to at times and i would love to be able to help others who need the help and support that i always seem to want in my times of need. so im there for anyone who needs it and i hope i can help.
my parents found out about me self harming as i let my guard down and forgot to put a jacket on before leaving my room to go to the washing basket. i broke down and confessed and she went so dramtic about it and carted me off to the docter which at first i refused to go with her until she booked me my own appointment after going alone without me because i wouldnt go.
i now am awaiting therpy cos i allowed myself to be forwarded to a therpist due to coming over numb when talkin to the doctor and agreeing to everything he said but im willing to go to 2 sessions then i will make a final desicion. i personally think my mum has over reacted and i was doing fine with quitting before she interferred.
i am quite self concious and have hated and worried about my weight for 9 years i am not anorexic or bulimic but i do throw up occasionally and have days of starvation when i am feeling lower than usually about myself. usually i just limit my self to certain foods and try and gain some control over binging and eating when i NEED to eat not when i WANT to eat.
i often feel i am not good enough for people and suffer from paranoia that people hate me and only friends with me for the sake of it etc. i feel i am never going to be good enough for my parents as they always seem to push me and only pick at my flaws and what i could have done better etc. my dad has drillied into me 'failure is not an option' which i have tried to follow as best i can and make him proud but sometimes i find it to hard. i keep a lot from my parents and if they knew what i was really like they wouldnt be happy to them i am a little angel of innocence but that isnt me really i just wear that mask in front of them so as not to hurt them or disapoint them. i hate doing this at times because i am not a fan of liers. the two things i cant forgive easily are if someone seriously lies to me or betrays me in a serious way. but otherwise i am quite forgiving.
i dont know if anyone will have bothered to read all that and if they have then i apologise if i have bored you =[ i got a little carried away i could write more but i will stop now...
so thats me =]
xxxxx
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28-07-2008, 09:42 PM
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#2
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Join Date: Jul 2008
Location: Devon, UK
I am currently:
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Hi,
I'm new here too so you;re not alone!! People are really friendly and supportive....and theres loads to check out!! I'm feeling quite nervous about using this site but I'm sure I'll get used to it!!! Have a play and a look round!!
xx
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29-07-2008, 08:21 AM
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#5
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pretty-mistake
Join Date: Jul 2008
Location: Home-the bedroom
I am currently:
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thank you everyone, i feel so welcome, i dont like starting new forums cos i feel like i have no friends and im like ahh what do i do =] so thanks xxxx
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What do you do when you know something's bad for you and you still can't let go?
I hate to show that I've lost control cos I, I keep going right back to the one thing that I need to walk away from.
.
'It is all about perception. The power of the mirror is only as strong as the person reflected in it'
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29-07-2008, 02:16 PM
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#6
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The Name Is Claire..
Join Date: Jan 2008
I am currently:
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Hey...
Welcome to RYL..
I hope you find this website helpful.. and you enjoy your time here...
PM box always open...
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30-07-2008, 01:58 PM
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#7
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Fight for another day
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Hey
Welcome to RYL
If you ever need anything PM me
Take care
Kat xxxx
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"Recovery is something that you have to work
on every single day and it's
something that doesn't
get a day off."
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