Contains sexual abuse - Would you believe me?

[-Shae-Lynn*]

I've been in therapy with the same social worker for about a year now and we have never spoken about this. It's come up a couple times in conversation but I've denied a lot. So much so that I don't think she will believe me now.
I just got home from camp.
A couple years ago at this camp I think I was assaulted. I say "I think" because I'm not exactly sure it counts. We were playing truth or dare and this boy was dared to touch my chest. I had just developed and wasn't really comfortable with them or myself at all really. I didn't even want to play the stupid game. I was forced to by these older girls in my cabin. I was the odd one out and I didn't want them to hate me even more so I played. Anyways, the boy and I went outside into the man-made forest behind the cabin and he started touching me. He started with my chest feeling me through my shirt but then he went under my shirt and felt the that way and then really quickly he put his hand down my pants. I didn't know what he was doing and I asked him to stop and he wouldn't. He went inside me and it hurt so badly. He didn't stop until he heard one of the councillors coming over. He told me not to tell because I would get into trouble for being awake and no one would believe me anyways. It was an awful experience. I think I repressed it for a long time because I didn't remember about him touching me "down there" until a couple days ago when I was back in the man made forest. I could feel his hands all over my body and I started panicking. I couldn't move and felt stuck there for a couple minutes until it faded.
I don't know what to do about this memory. I don't know if I should tell or not. Would she even believe me? It's never affected me before but now I feel really vulnerable and unsafe. It's my fault that it happened. I should have said no. I should have done more to fight him off. I should have screamed. I should have done something!!

[88shelz]

i thin that you should talk about it. it is understandable that you didnt want to talk about it before.
what he did was a violation of your rights and you have the right to be upset

[high.hopes]

I'd believe you. And uhm, your not alone in remembering something late & it effecting you. I've experienced this too..

It was not your fault. there was nothing you could have done to stop him.. You asked him to stop & he wouldnt so please please please dont blame yourself. I could never scream.. Not once.. Because i was too frightened. The sounds acctually wouldnt come out. So that maybe wasnt an option either..

I think you should discuss this.. It'll offer you a better chance of having a happier future if you manage to talk to your social worker. It could give a bigger perspective on how the problems started and better ways of making them better?

*Safe cuddles*
I'm so sorry this happend to you..
Good luck <3

[-Shae-Lynn*]

I told my social worker about what happened. She let me tell my story but we didn't discuss it very much because it was our last meeting and she didn't want to open a fresh can of worms on the last day. She said to bring it up with my new councillor when I get to London. It felt good to be believed though.

Hope you guys are doing well <3

[Winchester Angel]

Well done for telling her shae lynn, I'm dealing or trying to deal with repressed memories myself right now and I know how hard it is, PM if you ever need to talk :)

Take care
Dianne
xx

[no point]

Well done :) it must have been really hard but congrats. you made it!