Thank you. My advocate helped. Nothing's changed though. Yes I'm really distressed. I feel so stupid but I'm sick of being ignored and forgotten about and I'm never a priority to anyone. No one cares. I've had enough of this place. I am done with the psychologist as she obviously doesn't realise how distressed I am and doesn't give a shit anymore so I've cancelled tomorrow's appt.
Perhaps the nurse wanted to give you room to interact with your mum yourself? I suppose they have to try and balance being supportive with getting over-involved as a mediator in situations which are beyond their scope of practice.
I think it's often difficult for parents to know how to react when their child is unwell - especially if things are sometimes difficult between you, they might be trying to work out how much space to give you and that's the kind of thing people often misjudge.
What changed between you making the appointment to see the psychologist and now? Is there something specific that has changed your mind?
Sorry, I know this is a lot of questions. I hope talking here is helping.
I don't know I don't understand but it just feels very much like people don't care.
Well I only made the appt because the consultant pushed me to and so did the psychologist and I agreed at the time but now I've realised she's let me down a lot this week and in general and is prioritising other patients and giving them more time so it's just really upset me she obviously doesn't care or understand my suffering and we obviously aren't as close as I thought we were.
I’m just wondering why the question triggers such a response? You seem to struggle to answer and given your dismissiveness and irritation when challenged, even indirectly, it might well be worth considering your role in the relationship issues you’re experiencing, not only with professionals but also with your family and friends outside the ward. You’re feeling shitty and that’s clear, so what do you haveto lose from taking a chance and seeking out support?
I've politely asked you to stop posting on my thread can you please respect my wishes. Your responses are always unhelpful and it's making me feel worse. Everyone else has been supportive and there for me and has asked appropriate questions and understands me but you don't so please can you just leave me alone
I’m really unsure why you’re so opposed to answering my questions tbh. I’m sorry you find being asked questions unhelpful. Although on the flip side, perhaps the uncomfortable questions are the ones most worth considering. It seems like you are struggling with most interpersonal interactions right now (parents, staff, psychologist, any non ‘poor you’ communication on here). MYbe it would be worth having a think about why that is and whether there’s anything you could do differently in your approaches to other people? That doesn’t mean you’re ‘wrong’ in how you feel, but maybe your responses aren’t the most helpful. Just a thought to consider. You’re clearly struggling and something needs to change, and for that to happen you’ll need to be an active participant x
And maybe your posts aren't the most helpful! It's time you reflected on yourself and stopped pointing the finger at me. It isn't about "poor me" so just stop interfering. This is my space to talk, not yours. You are getting in the way of the supportive responses I've been receiving. You need to back off. Now I'll just ignore you
What would need to change in your day to day normal life (i.e. when you are home and not in hospital) in order to make you feel like you did not have to kill yourself?
What's your level of willingness? What are you willing to work on, change, or challenge?
You constantly, for months, have been going around in circles saying that nobody cares. Yet when asked, you cannot come up with anything tangible that would indicate people care. There is a lot of evidence to support that people do care about you. Your feelings about the situations are separate, and do not always align with the reality of the situation. That's often how it is for everyone. Facts and feelings are not always going to align, and part of coping is learning how to tell the two apart and how to make choices and react in ways that align more with the facts, while still validating and acknowledging your feelings. What might make this type of information easier for you to understand and take on board?
You struggle a lot with interpersonal relationships, yet do not seem to comprehend that relationships require both parties to act and react. Everyone else's actions and reactions always are wrong to you. What is your part in this? What part do you think you should play in a relationship?
You respond to any question as an attack and are immediately on the defensive and write people off. Why do you always feel you need to be so defensive?
You don't need to respond to this here. But it might help you to at least have a think about what things would need to look like for you to be willing to stay alive, and what level of effort you are also willing to put in to make that happen.
Maybe even in the future you might want to wait a while before responding to replies. Both on here and in real life. That can sometimes help calm your emotions down so you don't respond in quite so defensive or emotional of a manner. I know for me, once I've taken a step back to think about things and calm down a bit, it's easier to think things through a bit more logically instead of leading with your emotions first.
Lastly, when we care deeply about people and about situations, emotions both positive and negative can run high. If you look at the things you've had strong emotional reactions to (the situations with the psychologist and your parents) these are both people who care very deeply about you, and about whom you care very deeply as well. If you didn't care, you would not feel so strongly about the situation. Perhaps given you can feel so negatively about the situations, maybe if you gave it a chance instead of writing everything off, you'd see that you can also experience the same intensity of positive emotions as well. But that effort and willingness has to come from you.
At this point, you've made it clear to staff in hospital that you don't want support or help. It sounds like people in hospital care by respecting that boundary you've set. If your wishes have changed and you do want support and to talk to them, they would have no way of knowing that without you reaching out first to say so and potentially make amends. I bet if you did, staff would respond positively.
Eta: I was trying to think of a tangible example to use. So if staff seem to have misunderstood you or you feel like they don't care, your reaction is to write them off and not speak to them again. How could you handle that situation different? Could you write them a letter, an email, or try to speak to them and say, "When you speak to other patients and not me, I feel like you don't care and are not understanding what I am going through. It really upset me. Can you please check in with me on your shifts or set aside an agreed upon time each week we can meet?" If you never talk to people again to let them know what's going on, you never give them a chance to understand you or to try to work with you to make things right.
Part of getting to know people intimately and understand them means an ongoing relationship and back and forth. For example, my therapist has gotten things wrong about me before! I've misunderstood things she's done before too. When that happens I tell her so that we can address it and work through it. Sometimes it takes a few sessions or emails, and that can take a few weeks. It can be really frustrating when it's something important, but if you want to feel heard and understood, you have to put yourself out there. Nobody can know what is going on if you get defensive, shut down or shut people out, which seem to all be your immediate responses.
Last edited by Auror. : 09-09-2019 at 06:40 AM.
You can't always keep it separate.
This is happening, this is part of you.
I've asked politely for those that have nothing nice or helpful to say I.e. you two to stop posting on my threads. Please can you stop and respect my wishes. I don't have to justify myself to anyone especially not you. You don't know me or my life so stop acting like you know everything when you don't.
Last edited by MissGranger : 09-09-2019 at 10:28 AM.
So what do you want people to say to you in this thread? Do you want advice on how to make the best use of your time while in hospital to aid your recovery or do you want us all to just sympathise with the fact you are in hospital?
ETA: I know you will probably attack me for saying this, but we can only sympathise with your situation so far, especially when it seems like you are struggling to accept that a lot of the advice you are being given here would actually be helpful to you in your recovery. The only person stopping you from getting out of hospital now is you and the fact you keep pushing the support you have on offer away. I understand that this is part of your ongoing mental heath problems but the longer you keep reacting so defensively the less support you are going to get both here and in real life. You are right though, none of us know everything about you or your situation, we are just trying to find out more so that we can offer you help and support more. But the more you act the way you do the more you are going to lose in terms of help.
Sorry if that upsets you. And if you want me to shut up and go away I will respect that.
Last edited by Iamcatbug : 09-09-2019 at 11:27 AM.