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Old 17-06-2021, 10:17 PM   #1
raggygirl
 
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Adult - Random thinking

Just sat watching crap on TV and the thought to cut just jumps in my head, where it comes from I don't know, I'm sat thinking about where my blades are, I know I've got them hid, but not where. Have to go looking or failing 5gat have a go with the kitchen knife vos that's not really cutting. It doesn't count if it doesn't need stitches or staples. Thought writnibg this may help, but does anything.

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Old 21-06-2021, 09:41 PM   #2
Pi.R^2
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I hope that writing this post helped a bit, it's good to get your feelings out. It sounds wise that your blades are hidden- I'm guessing it's a delaying tactic you've put in place to help give you more time to think before acting?

I don't personally believe that it doesn't count if it doesn't need stitches/staples. Anything you do to injure yourself is damaging to your body and is a sign that things are really difficult for you.

Do you have go-to distractions that help you?



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Old 26-06-2021, 08:57 PM   #3
Mandimoo
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Hi

I hope that you're OK, or as OK as you can be. I found throwing out the blades really helped me as I found knives etc too dirty to use. Did something on TV trigger you? It's good that you have posted.

Mand x



Mand, South Wales, Full-time working, single mother to 2 scarily independent girls.
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Old 06-07-2023, 07:43 PM   #4
raggygirl
 
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Well here I am again, 8 weeks since I last cut, all healed and a new scar to hide, hide my shame. Things are stressed in my head/life at the moment (sick relative/work) and that's got me on edge, got a new blade last week all wrapped up and locked away, I know people say throw them out but I need to know it's there it just needs to be hard to get to.
I don't believe I'm going to cut but never say never.
A friend's getting married 2 weeks today, a happy time but thinking about seeing lots of people I don't know, people judging me, all of me, I won't fit in I know I won't but I have to go. I should be past all this Im way to old to have this insecurity.
Well thanks for letting me get this out there cos I sure as hell can't tell anyone.

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