Hey. So.. I just got out of a year and a half long relationship about a month ago. I was the one who got dumped. I for sure didn't see a breakup coming. We had been fighting a little bit more towards the end of the summer, but I thought that we could work together to stick together. I had been sensing around July that he was drifting away and I had expressed this worry to him. I said things like, "are you still into this relationship? You don't seem like you're whole heartedly into it like you used to be. It seems one sided to me, like I'm putting in all of the effort lately." and he reassured me by saying things like "Don't worry, I still love you lots. I'm just really busy this summer. I'm still really into it, don't worry okay?" ... so I kind of shrugged it off, even though I still kind of felt like he wasn't into it as much.
Well he dumped me at the end of August, literally out of nowhere.. saying that the relationship was one sided and he didn't love me anymore (literally a few HOURS after he had told me he loved me lots) ... then he got back together with me the next day, and dumped me a week later again for good. He had said that he wanted to stay friends... but now completely does not talk to me at all. And he says I'm apparently bitter and he doesn't want a bitter friend (how could I not be a bit bitter when someone screws with my mind like he did?) ... and that he's not ready to be friends yet. I'm the one who got dumped and had my heart ripped out yet HE isn't ready to be friends?! and I am?! What?!
It's been a month and I've hooked up with two other guys.. and I feel worse and more sad than I did when he left me. I felt terrible and couldn't sleep, eat or move the first time he dumped me... the second time I was just really angry and felt way better about it than the first time. But now it's been a month and I feel worse about getting dumped now than I did when it happened. I miss him so much even though he treated me like garbage at the end, even though he lied to me about loving me... I miss him so much. I miss all our inside jokes and I miss having someone to cuddle with and kiss, I miss when he slept over at my place and I slept over at his.. I miss having him as my best friend .. I miss absolutely everything. It's not fair that he can move on at the drop of a hat and doesn't miss us at all, but I'm completely destroyed and can't concentrate on a single thing but this junk.. I've tried hooking up with other people, I've tried doing things for ME like getting a pedicure and getting my lip pierced (something I've wanted for a long time).. but nothing is helping. I miss him so much I feel sick. I used to self harm when I was younger, and have stopped.. but I'm scared I'm going to start again because I feel I have myself to blame for the breakup.. I wasn't good enough for him to keep loving me and there must be something wrong with me if he just randomly stopped loving me.
How the hell do I get over him? He was a HUGE part of my life for a year and a half (well longer - I had feelings for him for 3 years before we got together) .. and now he's gone completely, it's like he died. I don't know what to do to get over this and I'm a mess. I want someone else.. but yet again i want him back.. but I know that will never happen. What do I do?!
Holding your head up is hard when you just want to stay on the ground.
I'm so sorry. This must be awful for you. I don't have any advice i'm afraid, I just wanted to send you hugs and let you know that you can PM if you ever want to chat.
Take care, xx
I'm so sorry to hear you are having such a hard time right now. I don't really have much advice but I want you to know that you are not alone and I know it might not feel like it right now but it will get better. I have recently gone through something similar so if you need to talk to anyone then feel free to pm me x
I've been where you are, except my GF cheated on me in a very un-nice way (not that cheating 'can' be nice).
The thing is... 20 months down the line, this is my situation;
Girlfriend of nearly 12 months.
I love her more than I can word.
She loves me.
Were happy.
We have our problems ofc, but they're overcome, cos we love each other.
I intend to ask her to marry me.
You see mate? Love can happen more times in a lifetime than you can imagine. One may stop, but you will find somebody again, and who knows, maybe he'll be the one?
I've been where you are, except my GF cheated on me in a very un-nice way (not that cheating 'can' be nice).
The thing is... 20 months down the line, this is my situation;
Girlfriend of nearly 12 months.
I love her more than I can word.
She loves me.
Were happy.
We have our problems ofc, but they're overcome, cos we love each other.
I intend to ask her to marry me.
You see mate? Love can happen more times in a lifetime than you can imagine. One may stop, but you will find somebody again, and who knows, maybe he'll be the one?
*hug*
I hope that I find someone else, but then again, I dunno if I could trust someone else. I feel SO discouraged.
Holding your head up is hard when you just want to stay on the ground.
I felt the same, until recently (and sometimes still) I get scared of it. Even now. I love her, but sometimes after what you/I have been through you get a little spark of fear saying 'Will she hurt me?', 'Is it real?', 'Will she find somebody better or more fun'. The thing is though, that's natural. It fades though, I promise you it does. It won't happen overnight (I won't lie to you), but it will happen, and when it does you'll feel good again :)
I felt the same, until recently (and sometimes still) I get scared of it. Even now. I love her, but sometimes after what you/I have been through you get a little spark of fear saying 'Will she hurt me?', 'Is it real?', 'Will she find somebody better or more fun'. The thing is though, that's natural. It fades though, I promise you it does. It won't happen overnight (I won't lie to you), but it will happen, and when it does you'll feel good again :)
Thanks for the words and advice and everything! :) I wish it would happen "overnight" .. haha. But maybe it's best it doesn't. I have new walls that I'll have to let down when someone new comes along and I think they're too fresh to be letting down so soon. Who knows, though... we'll see.
Holding your head up is hard when you just want to stay on the ground.
