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Old 21-08-2014, 08:05 PM   #1
Lucy84
 
Join Date: Aug 2014
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Can't cope..... Need to SH... *contains abuse*

I am sorry to post here as well as the Abuse page but I can't cope with my feelings. I want to cut so badly and just not stop!

Please help....

I am sorry....

X



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Old 21-08-2014, 08:25 PM   #2
XxDarkenedHeartXx
 
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Hi! It's okay, don't worry x

Please refrain from it and talk to us instead, talking is a great way to let us understand you even more.
There's no need to be sorry at all :/ you should talk to someone as soon as possible, someone close or someone on RYL or anyone you find okay to talk to and let them know what you go through. It's important your feelings see the light.
What other feelings are you with now?



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I wasn’t strong enough
And you didn’t give enough
When I needed you
I needed you


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Old 21-08-2014, 08:40 PM   #3
Lucy84
 
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I am scared and in pain and just want to cut to make the emotional pain go away..... cutting is all I have ever had...

Sorry for bothering you... xxx



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Old 21-08-2014, 08:48 PM   #4
XxDarkenedHeartXx
 
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Is there anything that makes you feel scared?
I understand you well, I'm going through this as well and I know it's not easy :/ you have to get through it, and I and others will help you with that xo
Have you ever tried talking to someone about what you feel?

And you aren't bothering me..you're making me feel better that I can help you, I hope I can ;)



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I wasn’t strong enough
And you didn’t give enough
When I needed you
I needed you


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Old 21-08-2014, 09:00 PM   #5
Lucy84
 
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The memories make me scared.... and he flashbacks... and nightmares... and my counselling...

I am so stupid... i am sorry.

Thank you.... you are helping xx here for you too xx



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Old 21-08-2014, 09:18 PM   #6
XxDarkenedHeartXx
 
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Are you scared because of something that happened in the past? Is it okay for you if you want to explain it further on?
Please don't be sorry :( you have nothing to be sorry for.



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I wasn’t strong enough
And you didn’t give enough
When I needed you
I needed you


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Old 21-08-2014, 09:42 PM   #7
havealittlefaith
 
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You are not stupid and you don't need to be sorry for anything

Hang in there

-hugs-

X





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Old 21-08-2014, 10:03 PM   #8
Lucy84
 
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Yes.... because of my past....

I was sexually abused from age 11 - 25.... i am 30 now.
I have some threads in the abuse section if that helps

I am just struggling a lot after counsslling yeaterday..

Thanks for replying both of you x x x



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Old 21-08-2014, 10:13 PM   #9
havealittlefaith
 
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Let me tell you something do not be sorry for your past and do not ever blame yourself for it was not your fault !! I anglia that you are getting help though x





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Old 21-08-2014, 10:26 PM   #10
XxDarkenedHeartXx
 
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Are you free of the abuse now? I hope you are!!

Why are you struggling after counseling? Was the counselor not a good choice? Did he/she say something inappropriate? I know the first time I talked with my counselor I felt bad too, but that's because of other reasons.
I am here all night for you x if you need me, I'm here.



---------------
I wasn’t strong enough
And you didn’t give enough
When I needed you
I needed you


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Old 22-08-2014, 08:06 AM   #11
Lucy84
 
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Thanks Guys

My counsellor is very good. I have been seeing her for several months but weds session was very hard as ot was an hour longer than usual and I started to feel myself get upset so triedto cut instead.

Now I am so upset I just want to keep cutting...

I am so scared...

Sorry x



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Old 22-08-2014, 11:02 AM   #12
XxDarkenedHeartXx
 
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What is making you that upset? Is it the past memories you have to dig up with the counselor? :/ or is it because you had to stay longer which you didn't really like/enjoy/appreciate?
Can you try something for me and write all your emotions on a piece of paper? Please see if that distracts you and if it does, we have an attach point x



---------------
I wasn’t strong enough
And you didn’t give enough
When I needed you
I needed you


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Old 22-08-2014, 12:33 PM   #13
Lucy84
 
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I am remembering things I do not want to remember. Things my counsellor says I blocked out.

I also feel very depressed and don't know how to deal with it..
Except by cutting....

My urges are just getting stronger and more frequent.

I have been put intouch with the Samaritans.

I feel so scared and muddled up.

So sorry x



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Old 22-08-2014, 12:53 PM   #14
XxDarkenedHeartXx
 
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Samaritans are great! I hope they will help you, they are experienced in what they do ♥
Is it possible you think of something else? Something better? You should really try to write out everything, or do another thing that might distract you.
Do you listen to music and if so what music do you like? ;)



---------------
I wasn’t strong enough
And you didn’t give enough
When I needed you
I needed you


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Old 22-08-2014, 01:20 PM   #15
Lucy84
 
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They are helping me try to keep my head straight as I have been having some pretty bad thoughts the past few days.

I just want to cut and not stop.

My counsellor has started to get me to write things down... my memories. To try and get them out of my head. I have started but it is making the abuse real now. I can't pretend it didn't happen anymore...

I am sorry for taking up your time.

Thanks for replying to me...

Always here for you too.

Xx



Big things often have small beginnings...

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Old 22-08-2014, 01:27 PM   #16
XxDarkenedHeartXx
 
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Then writing isn't helping you? :/ do you think drawing some stuff might help? Or as I said, music?

It's good to hear that the Samaritans are helping you, I really hope you'll be okay ;)



---------------
I wasn’t strong enough
And you didn’t give enough
When I needed you
I needed you


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Old 22-08-2014, 01:33 PM   #17
Lucy84
 
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I have only just started to write things down... my counsellor said it will be hard at first but that hopefully in the long run it will help me woth my self harm....

Alot is happening with trying to admit and deal with the abuse too and I just don't know how to cope.

I'm sorry. It is my fault anyway and I should just be cutting instead of bothering you....

Xx



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Old 22-08-2014, 01:36 PM   #18
XxDarkenedHeartXx
 
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That's what I was advised a long time ago..it does help a bit but you just have to get into the writing.
Have you ever participated in any support groups, not just individual counseling?

And please don't be sorry for that, it's not OK if you cut instead of talking to us. I reply here because I want you to get better, not because I waste my time! Afterall, we all decide what we do with our time xx please don't be sorry for a thing you shouldn't be.



---------------
I wasn’t strong enough
And you didn’t give enough
When I needed you
I needed you


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Old 22-08-2014, 01:43 PM   #19
Lucy84
 
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It's my fault....

You shouldn't waste your time with me....

X



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Old 22-08-2014, 01:56 PM   #20
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It's not your fault, it never was! You're just trying to cope with it and you have a lot of strength ;)



---------------
I wasn’t strong enough
And you didn’t give enough
When I needed you
I needed you


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