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Old 20-03-2019, 09:38 PM   #1
Soft Kitty
 
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Reasonable to call crisis team?

The age-old dilemma.

I'm really struggling to not hurt myself in a way which would be physically and psychologically damaging for me.

I don't feel in crisis so to speak and I don't feel suicidal. It's also perfectly possible I might not hurt myself in the bad way.

I know my crisis team wouldn't judge me for calling, but similarly I don't know if I could be honest with a male member of staff (there wouldn't be a choice of staff on the night shift) simply because of the nature of things.

Do you think it's reasonable to call the crisis team over possible self-harm?

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Old 20-03-2019, 09:43 PM   #2
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I think it's perfectly reasonable. You say you're struggling to keep yourself safe so it's better to call them now before you do anything, right?

But if you don't want to call them there are definitely other helplines and stuff out there (I don't know any myself, sorry) that you could call and talk things through instead.

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Old 20-03-2019, 09:52 PM   #3
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Thank you np, I really appreciate you responding. I'm definitely going to try and call them (or another helpline) if I can't manage the thoughts.

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Old 20-03-2019, 10:01 PM   #4
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You're more than welcome. I'm glad you'll try to call. Just remember that there are plenty of options you can take to avoid hurting yourself.

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Old 21-03-2019, 08:31 AM   #5
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How are things this morning?

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Old 21-03-2019, 11:24 AM   #6
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I'm doing okay thank you :) my mood is okay but thoughts of self harm are very intrusive. It feels like things will only be okay if I do the thing, though the discomfort and potential difficulties of the thing are protective factors. I'm going to keep trying to stay safe.

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Old 21-03-2019, 06:05 PM   #7
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Glad to hear you're doing ok. Did you call anyone in the end last night?

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Old 21-03-2019, 07:01 PM   #8
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I'm so glad that you've been doing better. Protective factors are good to have.

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Old 21-03-2019, 07:23 PM   #9
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Please reach out if you need to. I find it quite helpful to keep reminding myself of the horrible parts of doing a certain type of self harm, and telling myself that I really don't want to experience those awful things. Writing them down can make them seem more concrete, if you think you could do that? I have different envelopes in my safe box with specific reminders etc for each type of self harm I might be triggered to engage in.





I put it down on paper and then the ghost does not ache so much.


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Old 21-03-2019, 08:34 PM   #10
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I didn't call anyone last night, though my CPN phoned me today about something else, I didn't want to mention it as it was kind of her to phone me about the thing as it was, so didn't want to bother her about this other thing, if that makes sense. I'm definitely going to keep it in mind.

Thank you so much, Stellata, is it okay to use your name on the forums?

Lindsay, that's such a good idea about having specific ideas for certain types of self harm and their drivers. Is it about the problems it can cause for you to engage in them? Sorry, just trying to get an idea of what I might write in some envelopes! Do you tend to write ideas for alternatives? Like contacting somebody or doing something comforting?

Thank you all for responding, I really appreciate it.

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Old 21-03-2019, 08:35 PM   #11
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Glad our replies helped.

Yes, you can call me Katie if you like. :)

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Old 22-03-2019, 02:57 PM   #12
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How are you today?

With the envelopes, I'll try and give you an example. For overdosing I have written a lot of the horrible things that it can lead to and often does lead to like vomiting, spending time in hospital, less sleep due to being in hospital, judgements, etc. I don't have specific alternatives to overdosing but I do have a general list that I can try. For things like cutting I have alternatives such as writing on my arms and bandaging them. I guess it's personal what works for you, but basically I use reminders of the consequences that aren't pleasant and any specific strategies if there are any. I also have a list of people I could contact and in my box I have things to try and soothe myself.





I put it down on paper and then the ghost does not ache so much.


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Old 23-03-2019, 09:40 PM   #13
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Thank you Lindsay, that's really helpful. I think I need to do that too, regarding consequences.

It feels like I'm starting to desensitise it in my mind, and that's worrying me a little. It feels like I *have* to do it which is totally illogical.

Regrettably, I have tried to do the thing a couple of times but not caused myself any physical damage as far as I know. It's causing a lot of shame. I probably do need to try and phone my CPN next week if it's all still difficult, though I don't really know what I expect her to do as I've been going through this long enough to know everything I'm meant to do. Maybe it's just in acknowledging it and knowing she won't judge me or panic.

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Old 24-03-2019, 01:20 PM   #14
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Similar to writing the consequences etc but possibly a bit different, could you try writing down why you *don't* have to do it? Do you need any medical help? If you're unsure if you have harmed yourself or not then it would probably be worth getting checked out. I think it's a good idea to phone your CPN even if you don't think there is anything advice wise she could do, it can help to talk through things and maybe make more sense of things in your head. I hope you can speak to her.





I put it down on paper and then the ghost does not ache so much.


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Old 24-03-2019, 04:35 PM   #15
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Thanks Lindsay, I'm confident I don't need any medical help which is good, I think I'm afraid of things becoming worse if I don't put the brakes on though so I'm definitely going to see how things are mentally tomorrow and give my CPN a quick text if things aren't any better. I think I'm just a bit reticent I guess. I'm not sure what the reluctance is but I think it's so easy for us all to downplay things sometimes in our minds.

I think that's a really good idea to write down why I don't have to do it along with the potential consequences, thank you. I'm going to do that.

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Old 24-03-2019, 06:14 PM   #16
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Could you let yourself contact your CPN and allow her to make her own decisions about if she thinks you need to talk/have some extra support? I'm sure she would rather you got in touch in case things get worse.





I put it down on paper and then the ghost does not ache so much.


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Old 24-03-2019, 08:08 PM   #17
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Thank you. What you say makes sense, as a professional she is best placed to make that judgement. I don't think I need extra support beyond a short phone conversation with her, but even that seems almost unjustifiable. I'm probably trying to analyse it too much. I kind of think, "Oh, well it's just self-harm." And I guess it is. I know I would be encouraging anyone else to make the call, however. I will try.

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Old 24-03-2019, 08:10 PM   #18
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PS. That sounds horribly minimising of self-harm, apologies. I think I'm just desensitised to my own behaviours at this stage, definitely don't think the same about others'.

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Old 24-03-2019, 10:20 PM   #19
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No need to apologise, it's clear that you don't mean to minimise anybody else's self harm!

Even if it is 'just self harm', that's related to your mental health right? And your mental health is literally what she gets paid to talk with you about. To take it to a jokey extreme, if people don't contact her when they're struggling with mental health related things such as self harm, she'd be out of a job!

I really hope you can allow yourself to contact her tomorrow, it's definitely OK to do so.



We’ll find a way to fight it, we always have.
It's not how tragically we suffer but how miraculously we live.


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Old 25-03-2019, 02:48 PM   #20
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I hope you have managed/will manage to make contact today. It's ok, even just to check in.





I put it down on paper and then the ghost does not ache so much.


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