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Old 19-06-2018, 06:59 PM   #1
randi@bpdcentral.com
 
Join Date: Jun 2018
Using food to self injure

Using food to self injure

Iíve gone to a lot of trouble to sign up here, but Iím not sure this is the right place. Maybe somebody can tell me. Essentially, I have binge eating disorder. But nobody knows how to treat it because itís too new. Iíve tried several methods of treatment and it hasnít worked. I think thatís because I use food to self harm, and I donít know if thatís common.

I donít know if I need a trigger warning here, but basically I will eat food when I am not hungry and I am quite stuffed Until I get very very unpleasant gastrointestinal symptoms. I feel that I must punish myself and that Benjamin will make me unhappy and I need to binge because I donít deserve to have a happy life or a normal life. I focus on carbohydrates and suites. At two points in my life I had anorexia.

I had the eating disorder In control for most of my marriage, but then things happened in the marriage to have it grab me by the neck and not let me go. My husband did not want a sexual relationship and the rejection was enormous. There was a lot of emotional abuse. And left two years ago and Iím trying to confront a world that is only me and nobody else. Iíve gained enough weight so that Iím not interesting to any man except for those who have a special sexual attraction to overweight people. I have no interest.

I donít know what to do. I thought that since I use it as a form of self harm and people just donít understand that Ė they think they can give me dieting tips as if that would help Ė maybe somebody here could understand and have pants of what I can do.

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Old 02-07-2018, 10:33 PM   #2
Pi.R^2
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Hey there, sorry you're struggling with B.E.D and that so far you've not found treatment to be very helpful. Do you know what is causing you to have the urge to punish yourself by binging?

I'm glad you got yourself out of that abusive relationship. What is your current situation in terms of support?

We won't be able to give out diet tips here I'm afraid, as there are many users who have restrictive eating disorders and as such it wouldn't be appropriate!



Weíll find a way to fight it, we always have.
It's not how tragically we suffer but how miraculously we live.


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Old 03-07-2018, 04:03 AM   #3
Grrr....
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Have you sought help from a nutritionist while also talking with someone who does Cognitive Behavioral Therapy? CBT focuses on the connection thoughts have to behaviors, and lots of people with eating disorders work with nutritionists who employ some sort of behavioral modification techniques (goals with reward systems)... It could be helpful to you.



"Wish that I could cry,
Fall apon my knees,
Find a way to lie,
About the home I'll never see"
Superman by Five For Fighting

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Old 18-07-2018, 11:53 PM   #4
yoyogirl
 
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How about keeping yourself busy so that you don’t think about binge eating whatsoever ? It’s doesnt have to be anything major, just pop into town and plan your activities so that you don’t feel triggered.

I like to walk a lot and now walk with music as my new friend, i go into town for the purpose so that I don’t have binge and walk away from cakes and triggering places. I imagine that when I am walking I am leaving the cakes, binge eating behind and all the situations I am dealing with have pissed off for few hours. *sorry for swearing* I also listen to audiobooks and motivating music so I ain’t thinking about the not so good things in life.



Have you ever confused a dream with life? Or stolen something when you have the cash? Have you ever been blue? Or thought your train moving while sitting still? Maybe I was just crazy. Maybe it was the 60's. Or maybe I was just a girl... interrupted.
I know what it's like to want to die. How it hurts to smile. How you try to fit in but you can't. How you hurt yourself on the outside to try to kill the thing on the inside. I tried groups, didn't work out just made my depression a lot worse.

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