I’m surprised they haven’t confronted me yet. My therapist does know, she gave me her cell for me to text or call if I ever need to(She’s not in love me. She gave it to me if something happened and I could not wait until the next session to talk about it, my parents and me have an agreement that they will not go through any texts to her)(I’m making this a bit awkward...)
I tried useing a knife at first(this was when I started getting thoughts about SHing.
It one, did not work at all, two, I hid it under my bookshelf where the cleaner found it the next day.
When my mom picked me up from school (I had a after school club that day) she confronted me, when I refused to talk she said I could talk about it with her(my mom) or my dad. I choose dad but only to delay the inevitable.
I was punished not for self-harming. But for not listening to my dad talk.(I covered my ears and burred my face in Stitch’s fur. From what I did hear and remember(I may be incorrect) but he told me that he had to deal with worst.
This happend yesterday
So I am kinda noisily in the bathroom. I went in to cut, I was told to go back to bed because I was in their to long, I then got in bed, had to pee, peed, mom runs up, next thing I know I was moved into the guest room. I am going to be there permanently now most likely.
So this morning when I went up to my old room to get something to wear. I noticed my phone book that I kept my tools in was gone(I had hollowed out a phone book a few years ago. I had no use for it until now. Still it is neat for a secret compartment.)
I had one blade hidden in my nightstand in case I wanted to cut in bed. That was still there. So that is all I have left. No gauze, no tape. Just one blade.
I don’t feel like I fit in or have a place in my family. I just don’t feel right. I apparently do nothing but “disrespect” my mom and dad.
So many conflicting emotions. I hope my dad doesn’t look up my Username(I use the same name for everything) and finds out I have an account on here.
Edit: To clarify, my therapist knows that I cut, not that I want to end it. I feel a bit better though. The thoughts of ending it are not as strong today. I think I just was a bit overwhelmed.
Last edited by Aardbei : 26-12-2017 at 01:09 PM.
Reason: Please see your PMs
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