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Old 20-06-2013, 12:44 PM   #52181
Kahlia1981
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skinnylove: That's a lot to bear. Getting into debt and losing friends is something I can relate to, as are the ED-like thoughts. This may sound really stupid or cliché, but we all struggle to get in control of our lives, or parts of them. As both a survivor or suicide, and a survivor of suicide attempts I really hope that you can get through this without travelling down that road. *offers safe hugs*

I'm not coping at present. My mood is low and I'm getting used to the fact that I'm going to have to travel down to Brisbane for ECT after I sit my deferred exam. *sigh* Last round I didn't improve and gained a 12-month hole in my memory from the ECT. I just want to disappear right now

*disappears into a corner with my teddy bear*



She shouts, she screams, she smashes your dreams . . .
Would you mind if I killed you? Would you mind if I tried to?
'Cause you have turned into my worst enemy,
You carry hate that I don't feel: It's over now
WHAT HAVE YOU DONE

* Proud Plumeria Sister * My Support Thread * I got lei'd in vets *
* My RYL Family: big brother Doikers; little sisters MammaMia & flutterby butterfly *


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Old 20-06-2013, 12:58 PM   #52182
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I am in the process of talking to the police about being sexually abused and its all getting to me ,my mental health worker is having a meeting with adult safe guarding and the police and her boss on Wednesday and I don't know how to handle it I just really do not want to be ere anymore :(








Im not afraid .......Or am I ?



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Old 20-06-2013, 02:12 PM   #52183
Kahlia1981
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Gem-Louise: I'm not surprised that it's getting to you. Having to talk about situations like that can make us relive the experience to start with, and talking to police who can be brutal in their investigating, doesn't make it any easier. Is your mental health worker able to provide, or organise, support for you while this process is going on?



She shouts, she screams, she smashes your dreams . . .
Would you mind if I killed you? Would you mind if I tried to?
'Cause you have turned into my worst enemy,
You carry hate that I don't feel: It's over now
WHAT HAVE YOU DONE

* Proud Plumeria Sister * My Support Thread * I got lei'd in vets *
* My RYL Family: big brother Doikers; little sisters MammaMia & flutterby butterfly *


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Old 21-06-2013, 12:11 AM   #52184
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The debt I don't really give a damn about it, it happened and that's in the past right now but it's the lack of career, people bragging about their wonderful lives and basically making me feel **** and also I am very jealous and I envy my parents, cousins and brother for having friends and I am left with people I don't see regularly apart from the wonderful graham who see twice a week and I do see people at the mind centre but I generally feel left out. I mean people my age are out dancing at the weekend and I have only been once or twice that was couple of years ago. I am also jealous of my cousins cos they are doing a levels between age 16-18 and I didn't I had to wait till I was 21 and the fact they can all drive and I can't.
Plus they are going to uni in the coming years and the odds of me ever going are so f****** slim. 1 in a billion maybe (: everything has been perfect for them



Have you ever confused a dream with life? Or stolen something when you have the cash? Have you ever been blue? Or thought your train moving while sitting still? Maybe I was just crazy. Maybe it was the 60's. Or maybe I was just a girl... interrupted.
I know what it's like to want to die. How it hurts to smile. How you try to fit in but you can't. How you hurt yourself on the outside to try to kill the thing on the inside. I tried groups, didn't work out just made my depression a lot worse.

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Old 21-06-2013, 11:58 AM   #52185
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skinnylove: Jealousy can be a nasty activity for your self-esteem. If I can share something... I went straight from high school to uni to study OT (occupational therapy) and, in my third year, I became psychotic. I then had to deal with the fact that all the people I had been studying with were out in the world and earning money etc, and I couldn't do anything. It took me years, and the support of a disability employment agency, before I could work, or start studying again. All my friends were married or in relationships and I was single. They all went out to the clubs, and I didn't. I'm not going to tell you your situation is or isn't bad, firstly that's not my job and secondly it wouldn't get you, or me, anywhere. I've always thought that my sister got an easy trip through life - study, career, husband, child - but my own life didn't start coming together in any way until I turned my attention to what I wanted to and could do with my life. Sorry, I feel that will come across as if I'm lecturing you... I'm really sorry if it does. All I'm trying to say is that looking into someone's else's life can stop you living your own. And, though it may not feel like it now, there may be something good just around the corner that's worth hanging in there for.

Dropping like a stone right now.... Can't wait until the wedding and exam are over even if that means more ECT. *sigh*



She shouts, she screams, she smashes your dreams . . .
Would you mind if I killed you? Would you mind if I tried to?
'Cause you have turned into my worst enemy,
You carry hate that I don't feel: It's over now
WHAT HAVE YOU DONE

* Proud Plumeria Sister * My Support Thread * I got lei'd in vets *
* My RYL Family: big brother Doikers; little sisters MammaMia & flutterby butterfly *


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Old 21-06-2013, 12:04 PM   #52186
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She said that she will be there for me every step of the way :(








Im not afraid .......Or am I ?



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Old 21-06-2013, 12:29 PM   #52187
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I have tried to look on the bright side and buy because its in my face 24/7 with Facebook, at home and in town I can't escape



Have you ever confused a dream with life? Or stolen something when you have the cash? Have you ever been blue? Or thought your train moving while sitting still? Maybe I was just crazy. Maybe it was the 60's. Or maybe I was just a girl... interrupted.
I know what it's like to want to die. How it hurts to smile. How you try to fit in but you can't. How you hurt yourself on the outside to try to kill the thing on the inside. I tried groups, didn't work out just made my depression a lot worse.

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Old 22-06-2013, 12:53 PM   #52188
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Gem-Lousie: That's a good start. Have you opened up to her about how it is making you feel? *offers safe hugs*

skinnylove: I don't know if it's possible (or would be positive) as I hardly know anything about your life, but are you able to limit your time on facebook, remove friends and family that trigger your envy or perhaps create a facebook account under another name that you can use to only put in friends/family that don't boast about their lives? The feeling of being trapped, unable to escape, can be overwhelming. Please keep talking to us, you are not alone.

My mood is still dropping. This must be a long, dark chasm that I'm falling into. :(



She shouts, she screams, she smashes your dreams . . .
Would you mind if I killed you? Would you mind if I tried to?
'Cause you have turned into my worst enemy,
You carry hate that I don't feel: It's over now
WHAT HAVE YOU DONE

* Proud Plumeria Sister * My Support Thread * I got lei'd in vets *
* My RYL Family: big brother Doikers; little sisters MammaMia & flutterby butterfly *


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Old 23-06-2013, 08:24 PM   #52189
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I do but I can escape anymore
I'm sorry I am going through so much right now crying x



Have you ever confused a dream with life? Or stolen something when you have the cash? Have you ever been blue? Or thought your train moving while sitting still? Maybe I was just crazy. Maybe it was the 60's. Or maybe I was just a girl... interrupted.
I know what it's like to want to die. How it hurts to smile. How you try to fit in but you can't. How you hurt yourself on the outside to try to kill the thing on the inside. I tried groups, didn't work out just made my depression a lot worse.

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Old 24-06-2013, 10:06 AM   #52190
Kahlia1981
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skinnylove: You don't need to apologise, especially not in here. You are human and that means you are entitled to make mistakes, become emotional and overwhelmed and feel despair. Just try to hang in there and keep talking to us. *offers safe hugs and tissues*


I didn't sleep last night... I was just so low that my brain was running over and over my suicide plans. Stress is a big contributing factor to how I feel, I recognise that. I still wish I could just disappear from the world or completely switch my brain and emotions off. *sigh*



She shouts, she screams, she smashes your dreams . . .
Would you mind if I killed you? Would you mind if I tried to?
'Cause you have turned into my worst enemy,
You carry hate that I don't feel: It's over now
WHAT HAVE YOU DONE

* Proud Plumeria Sister * My Support Thread * I got lei'd in vets *
* My RYL Family: big brother Doikers; little sisters MammaMia & flutterby butterfly *


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Old 24-06-2013, 10:51 AM   #52191
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Still not great mentally at the moment really want to end it I can't handle things right now I'm too overwhelmed



Have you ever confused a dream with life? Or stolen something when you have the cash? Have you ever been blue? Or thought your train moving while sitting still? Maybe I was just crazy. Maybe it was the 60's. Or maybe I was just a girl... interrupted.
I know what it's like to want to die. How it hurts to smile. How you try to fit in but you can't. How you hurt yourself on the outside to try to kill the thing on the inside. I tried groups, didn't work out just made my depression a lot worse.

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Old 25-06-2013, 01:19 AM   #52192
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**elle you got admit that you are in crisis right now you need help now. Stop using your distractions as way of escaping from your problems



Have you ever confused a dream with life? Or stolen something when you have the cash? Have you ever been blue? Or thought your train moving while sitting still? Maybe I was just crazy. Maybe it was the 60's. Or maybe I was just a girl... interrupted.
I know what it's like to want to die. How it hurts to smile. How you try to fit in but you can't. How you hurt yourself on the outside to try to kill the thing on the inside. I tried groups, didn't work out just made my depression a lot worse.

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Old 27-06-2013, 08:37 AM   #52193
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Crashing and burning

*puts goodies and drinks on the table and gives hugs to all in here*

Make the war end



~Matt~

Susanna Kaysen: I'm ambivalent. In fact that's my new favorite word.
Dr. Sonia Wick: Do you know what that means, ambivalence?
Susanna Kaysen: I don't care.
Dr. Sonia Wick: If it's your favorite word, I would've thought you would...
Susanna Kaysen: It *means* I don't care. That's what it means.

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Old 27-06-2013, 12:00 PM   #52194
Kahlia1981
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skinnylove911: Distractions have their time and place. Sometimes getting 5 minutes relief from your emotions can be enough to allow you to re-think your options or get a new perspective. *hugs*

YodaBear: *hugs*

Just a reminder that I/we are here to talk if required.

Still dropping like a stone. Beginning to self-destruct. I just want it all to stop, please...
*grabs blankets and pillows and goes to sit in the corner*



She shouts, she screams, she smashes your dreams . . .
Would you mind if I killed you? Would you mind if I tried to?
'Cause you have turned into my worst enemy,
You carry hate that I don't feel: It's over now
WHAT HAVE YOU DONE

* Proud Plumeria Sister * My Support Thread * I got lei'd in vets *
* My RYL Family: big brother Doikers; little sisters MammaMia & flutterby butterfly *


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Old 02-07-2013, 01:01 AM   #52195
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Blah... too much going on... too much in my head... too much noise and the Voices are screaming at me. I have to go to Court tomorrow and I don't want to, but I have to *sigh*



~Matt~

Susanna Kaysen: I'm ambivalent. In fact that's my new favorite word.
Dr. Sonia Wick: Do you know what that means, ambivalence?
Susanna Kaysen: I don't care.
Dr. Sonia Wick: If it's your favorite word, I would've thought you would...
Susanna Kaysen: It *means* I don't care. That's what it means.

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Old 03-07-2013, 03:31 AM   #52196
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Court was annoying... I was so nervous, but I think I did okay

A few of my coworkers said they were concerned about me today... I can't hide forever



~Matt~

Susanna Kaysen: I'm ambivalent. In fact that's my new favorite word.
Dr. Sonia Wick: Do you know what that means, ambivalence?
Susanna Kaysen: I don't care.
Dr. Sonia Wick: If it's your favorite word, I would've thought you would...
Susanna Kaysen: It *means* I don't care. That's what it means.

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Old 04-07-2013, 07:44 PM   #52197
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So so tired of it all

*snuggles up with some pillows and blankets*

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Old 08-07-2013, 03:18 PM   #52198
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Today is going to be a no good very bad day... I can already feel it. Its very hard to conentrate with so much going on and all the competitions in my head... sigh



~Matt~

Susanna Kaysen: I'm ambivalent. In fact that's my new favorite word.
Dr. Sonia Wick: Do you know what that means, ambivalence?
Susanna Kaysen: I don't care.
Dr. Sonia Wick: If it's your favorite word, I would've thought you would...
Susanna Kaysen: It *means* I don't care. That's what it means.

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Old 14-07-2013, 04:25 PM   #52199
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Not really great right now so I'm trying to watch a tv to help me feel better



Have you ever confused a dream with life? Or stolen something when you have the cash? Have you ever been blue? Or thought your train moving while sitting still? Maybe I was just crazy. Maybe it was the 60's. Or maybe I was just a girl... interrupted.
I know what it's like to want to die. How it hurts to smile. How you try to fit in but you can't. How you hurt yourself on the outside to try to kill the thing on the inside. I tried groups, didn't work out just made my depression a lot worse.

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Old 14-07-2013, 07:02 PM   #52200
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*drags stuffed donkey and a pillow and blanket over to a corner, proceeds to beat up the pillow*
in a bad place, dropping like a stone, all the painkillers are looking inviting



Today is the tomorrow you worried about yesterday


crazykat is my sis Newlife is my sis

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