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Old 09-06-2007, 03:49 AM   #1
Trying to save myself from myself.
all-hope.lost-forever's Avatar
Join Date: Jun 2006
Location: Rhymney, South-Wales, uk.
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Triggering (Sexual Abuse) - Why me??!!!

On Thursday it was a normal day i went down town..needed to get a few things and well cos i had so much shopping i called a taxi to get back home. Its only a 5 minute drive not even that..but i had heavy bags and such...Well anyway it was a man...he knows where i live after taking me home numerous times before...But i dont like him you see he's been trying to get in on with me for years now.. even stops at the top of my street and puts his hand on my lap and tries to kiss me...Well anyway we were coming up to my street and he just went straight passed and i asked him where he was going and he didnt reply so i just thought he was going the long way and up to what he normally is..But no i was so ****ing wrong,,,We ended up the mountain he locked the doors and told me to get in the back and lie down i said no and tried to open the doors but he grabed me hard and raped me... i tried pushing him off me but he just was so solid that i couldnt i tried to scream but nothing came out.. it felt like hours when he stopped..but i thought that was it that he'd open the doors now he had gotten what he wanted...but no he drove further up the mountain and then he pushed me back down and raped me again. in total he raped me 5 times. by this time i was bleeding heavily and being sick..when i asked him why he said i deserved it for not kissing him the times he tried to kiss me.. He opened the door and chucked me out on the mountain with my bags...Cos i had my mobile with me i rang the police and told them where i was and they came to get me and took me to the hospital where i was for 9 hours..The hospital/police wanted me to stay in hospital over night but i didnt feel like it..My parents think its my fault tho.. think i asked him to have sex even tho there is proof that i was raped!
Why does this keep happening too me??

First my dad - when i was younger
Then my cousin raped me a year ago
then My mams friends bf raped me
now this!

Have i got a sign on my head saying go ahead rape me or something?? Is it my fault that this keeps happening to me??


Feel free to PM me anytime!

R.I.P Spencer <3 - I'll miss you!

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Old 09-06-2007, 03:55 AM   #2
Save me from the nothing I've become
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*uber huggles* It is in no way your fault, hun. I repeat IT IS NOT YOUR FAULT. Men can be disgusting pigs as you've sadly found out first hand. I'm sorry that the sick b*stards find you. I'd castrate them all if I could. PM/IM me if you need to talk. *hugs again*

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Oh, but God, I want to let it go.
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Old 09-06-2007, 04:37 AM   #3
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*lots of hugs* Oh sweetheart there's nothing wrong with you at all. Sometimes people just get hurt several times because the bad people can sense vulnerability left over. It's not your fault AT ALL. And your parents are so wrong for thinking anytihng of the sorts. You did nothing wrong and he and all the others who ever put their hands on your should be locked up forever. *more hugs* Please don't blame yourself, you can never do anything to warrent it. And you were also very brave for calling the police. Good luck sweetheart.

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Old 09-06-2007, 05:34 AM   #4
Peeking out from behind the barrier
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ive always been a target for things, i dont know why. we dont ask for it, but some people just get far more than their fair share of hell. this was NOT your fault. dont let yourself beleive what theyre telling you, like mine told me. its not your fault. its never your fault. parents sometimes dont want to beleive bad things happen, so they bury their heads in the sand, thats not your fault either. im sorry, not making much sence, but i wanted to say something. im so sorry youve been hurt like that

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Old 09-06-2007, 07:22 AM   #5
wish someone cared enough to stop me....
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big hugs hun..its been said a few times but can never be said was not your fault, and its really sad that your parents made you out to be a liar, at those times we need them to be supportive and give you a safe place to talk about how you feel. and sweetie i've asked the same question about whether i have a victim tattoo on my forhead, because all the guys i have come across starting with my stepdad have abused me. i havent found the answer but i do know that we dont ask for it..some ppl who like to hurt others search for ppl they think look vunerable.
i hope the police get this bastard, make him understand that he wont get away with it, and find someone you trust or a counsellor to talk to, dont keep it all inside sweetie. well i doubt any of that made sense but oh well.
PM or whatever anytime hun
xoxoxo take care

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Old 10-06-2007, 09:32 AM   #6
one of many
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hunni none of this is your fault
it there fault
we know that things feel very painful for you
but i suggest you seek couslling
we are here for you
* hugs*
:heart :people


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Old 10-06-2007, 10:53 AM   #7
ghosts in the machine
coimeádaí rún
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Sweetie, it's his fault, NOT YOURS.

His actions - his decision to go ahead with it - his fault.

It's never your fault, and there is absolutely nothing in this world that you could ever have done to warrent you deserving this.

I'm so sorry this has happened to you (and that your parents are being *less than* supportive). Please take care of yourself sweetie xxx

For those doubts that swirl all around us
For those lives that tear at the seams
We know… we’re not what we’ve seen

For this dance we’ll move with each other
There ain’t no other step than one foot
Right in front of the other

~ We're marching on... ~

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Old 10-06-2007, 04:38 PM   #8
perfection is a flaw
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*massive huggles*
hunni this was NOT you fault.
as xxgothic angelxx said: His actions - his decision to go ahead with it - his fault. so please try not to blame yourself.
i know what you mean about seeming to attract abuse, i certainly feel like that. i dont really have an answer to that but no one ever asks for abuse and just because someone has been abused before and someone can sense that it does not give them the right to abuse that person again.
sorry i dont have better advice for you and im sorry that your parents arent exactly supportive
please look after yourself
x x x

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Old 14-06-2007, 04:47 PM   #9
leave me alone!!
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Its nobody's decision to be raped, Gemmy. What he did was very, very, wrong and completely messed up. You don't need me to tell you that. There is no way that you could ever be responsible for something like that. *hugs* As for your parents, they don't know what its like for you. Keep on going. You can PM me whenever you need to. Take care.

Why can't you just

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