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Old 02-11-2012, 06:58 PM   #1
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How do you deal with anniversaries?

I'm not really sure how to word this so I may babble a bit.

Everyone experiences anniversaries, some happy and some sad. Sad like the death of a loved one, the date you broke up with someone, a bad event in your life.

2 years ago today I was raped, and it's like.. I don't know how I should feel?

Last year, when it was the "1 year" anniversary, I ended up in a&e and then being in patient for 6 months.

Today, I feel sad, I feel hurt. But it's almost like I'm feeling those things because that's what I think I should feel? I mean surely it's expected for someone to be sad, to find it difficult. It's like on one hand I'm feeling those things, I feel upset and I feel angry, alone, hurting... But at the same time I feel completely numb.

I suppose as well, because last year went so badly, it's strange to be ok? I hoped of course that I'd be alright this year, but at the back of my mind I half expected things to go badly again. Now I'm here and it's almost like "is this it?"

But then I think, well last year I didn't actually hit rock bottom until the 4th, it's only the 2nd.. Maybe something will happen? Maybe I'm just kidding myself that I'm gonna make it through this fine?

Or could I actually be better? Could I actually be this "normal" person now, free of self harm, free from mental health services, could I actually have recovered??

I don't know what I'm trying to say here, I just feel very confused I think.

How do you guy deal with bad/upsetting anniversaries??

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Old 02-11-2012, 07:06 PM   #2
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Usually the day before an anniversary is worse than the day for me because it builds up in my head. One anniversary I ended up in hosp shortly after but now I try not to keep track of them too much. Sometimes depending on what they are I try and do something nice. Like the anniversary of my miscarriage we let off Chinese lanterns and went to church and lit a candle. That helped a lot.

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Old 02-11-2012, 07:18 PM   #3
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I tend to try and distract myself, so watch films or my favourite TV show, go out for a walk anything that will take my mind off it, because if I don't do things I end up being swamped by thoughts of the anniversary.

"Never be a spectator of unfairness or studpidity. The grave will supply plenty of time for silence." Christopher Hitchens

'When words fail, music speaks'

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Old 02-11-2012, 08:00 PM   #4
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Could being around other people, and making plans to keep you distracted help? I find not giving myself time to think about that particular thing sort of helps...

Try to think positively, I hope everything goes okay for you <3

And there will come a time, you'll see, with no more tears. And love will not break your heart, but dismiss your fears...

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Old 02-11-2012, 10:00 PM   #5
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Thanks for the replies :)
High hopes; I've been okay, I suppose it's just a bit of a new thing for me to be "okay" if that makes sense! I had self harmed for 10 years (im 7 months free) and I suppose I've surprised myself in a sense that today, I've been fine. Just after the past 2 years being an absolute roller coaster in such a bad way, to have got through this time and been fine, is odd!

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Old 02-11-2012, 11:31 PM   #6
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I'm so proud of you x

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Old 05-11-2012, 08:24 AM   #7
Fire Fly
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How are you doing now? Yesterday must have been really hard for you and Im sorry for not replying to this thread earlier!
*Thinking of you* x

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Call me R -

The best thing about the future is that it comes one day at a time - Abraham Lincoln

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Old 05-11-2012, 06:31 PM   #8
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Hey Tinkles, it's okay. Um, I'm alright. I'm not feeling over the moon but who would be? But I'm okay. Thankyou <3 xx

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Old 05-11-2012, 11:24 PM   #9
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hi. i have problems with anniversaries. i just dont know what to do with myself. today it is one month till the anniversary and i have become anxious about it already. its like im on countdown. cant get it out of my head.

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Old 06-11-2012, 03:13 PM   #10
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I don't think that there are any rules about how you will or should react. I know that the anniversary of one of my parents' deaths was a fairly big deal- but I didn't remember that day as much as their birthday.

Now it is more of a...they died X years ago thing.

If you know that you would be more vulnerable around this time- like people might be around Christmas/ holidays or birthdays then keep in touch with your health services and maybe stay with someone for support.

I have someone regularly checking in on me- so I cannot really veg out and go off the rails for any length of time. I have some negative anniversaries that I do make my own- victories of a sort for hanging in there.

Maybe you need to celebrate a new day- separate from this horrible event- and don't let it define you or cloud this month.

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itís not working for polar bears
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